Advice please.

[Jpone]

Not sure how to start this so I will just jump in.

I have been living with my GF for nearly 15yrs and for the last 5yrs+ I have been fantasing about shemales, I am now finding it harder and harder to contain and hide my loving of shemales, my pc is loaded with images, I have disc's hidden around my house, every spare minute I have I trawl the net lookin for images/movies of shemale, but that isn't enough to quell my desire and fantasy's anymore, I need to find a shemale but that isn't easy or am i just looking in the wrong places? I am finding it harder and harder to hide my secret from my partner, perhaps I am just being paranoid.

Am I alone, for those of you who have GF/wifes how do you hide your secret or do you share it with them??

I would very much love to have sex with a shemale but the only ones I can find near me charge big time and are far from the stunning women I see posted on here regulary