Comment Required By Our Bionca

[Talvenada]

BIONCA:


Men who date, fuck and love trans-women don't defend them, right?

This is NOT to question your thinking in any way, but to expand it.

My Bionca's Poll For Men endeavored to see the percentage of men on this site who date, fuck and love trans-women.

Love = 19.74%
Fuck = 14.47%
Date = 05.26%


Totals = 39.47%


What are your thoughts on the defending issue when it's 40% of the men on this site who fit your description of not defending trans-women?

[Bionca]

well.. it's 40% of the guys who decided to respond and there was no discussion of what "defending trans women" actually means.

As far as my perceptions, I'll reference two different news stories. First the recent article about men watching shemale porn that I posted about. According to that article millions of men join pay sites and/or trans dating sites.

Second story is the biggest Trans story of the past 20 years. The murder of Angie Zapata. It was picked up by the AP and CNN was in the courtroom. Big news blogs posted about it. As with most things Internet, the online articles from various sites have sections for comments. Some of the most horrid things were said about Angie and trans women. Trans women, including myself, were in full force refuting incorrect statements and assumptions. Women who remained married to their partners after they transitioned (either f2m or m2f) were in there with us, parents of trans kids were particularly active.

While some folks identified as men and were vocal in support, none of them identified them selves (if any actually were) as men who date/love/fuck/lust over trans women. Given that the greatest problem with any Trans murder by an intimate partner is the automatic assumption that we trick them, that we couldn't get a man unless we do trick them, that part of being trans is the need to deceive people. Had men been honest, that could have gone some distance in dispelling that. Instead it was trans women *claiming* that their partners were hetero, that we don't trick guys, and that our lives are actually worth protecting.

So of all groups being vocal during a trans story that was about as big a story as we are likely to get we had : trans men and women, parents, helpful friends and family, non-trans women married to/dating trans folks. Given a silver platter opportunity to be unidentified (Internet and all) an make a statement in support of trans women, I didn't see anything from fellas.

I do know some guys, one in particular, who used the trial to bring up Trans issues with his co-workers. So, I know that in some cases you all are there one-on-one. But as a group men who date/fuck us don't step up to the plate very often, even when it poses very little risk to them.

[johndowe]

Hi there.

C'est encore moi! (it's me again!)

I remember when i want back to school getting recycled so to speak, (the course was on the sales of micro-computers, a quasi total waste of time, anyway) while attending these courses (full time) there were 4 militant feminist girls and one feminist guy, i over heard the girls talking about feminism, i joinned in the discussion, but directed it towards the stupidity of the feminist movement, (to be honnest i NEVER heard anything intelligent come from them, sorry) not subtily but directly and they agreed with me, i didn't threaten or intimidate them, i was calm cool & collected, in other words my usual charming self, soon after i saw the feminist guy, before he got wind of what i had done, and asked him:

Wow do you call a feminist guy?

Him: I don't know.

Me: A traitor.

Well he laughed and agreed with me.

So much for convictions, on both counts.

My point is when confronted with a hard choice most people will clam up or go with the flow, instead of going with their gut and convictions, it can be very frustrating when you count on those people, but you can't change the world overnight.

JohnDowe.

[Talvenada]

Originally Posted by Bionca

well.. it's 40% of the guys who decided to respond and there was no discussion of what "defending trans women" actually means.




While some folks identified as men and were vocal in support, none of them identified them selves (if any actually were) as men who date/love/fuck/lust over trans women.

Had men been honest, that could have gone some distance in dispelling that. Instead it was trans women *claiming* that their partners were hetero, that we don't trick guys, and that our lives are actually worth protecting.

Given a silver platter opportunity to be unidentified (Internet and all) an make a statement in support of trans women, I didn't see anything from fellas.

So, I know that in some cases you all are there one-on-one. But as a group men who date/fuck us don't step up to the plate very often, even when it poses very little risk to them.

BIONCA:

I'm not disagreeing with you, or questioning what you're saying.

I'm only referring to this site at 40%, which is all that I'm familiar with.

BTW, polls don't talk to everyone, it's a sample of the populace.

My thinking was that defending trans-women at this site wouldn't be a percentage of the whole, but of 40% of the whole.

In other words, if there were 100 guys on the site, only 40 would fit the category of defending the girls they sleep with, date, love, etc.

That was the comment I was seeking, but I probably butchered my explanation clarity.


Piece,


TAL

[Bionca]

Originally Posted by Talvenada

BIONCA:

I'm not disagreeing with you, or questioning what you're saying.

I'm only referring to this site at 40%, which is all that I'm familiar with.

BTW, polls don't talk to everyone, it's a sample of the populace.

My thinking was that defending trans-women at this site wouldn't be a percentage of the whole, but of 40% of the whole.

In other words, if there were 100 guys on the site, only 40 would fit the category of defending the girls they sleep with, date, love, etc.

That was the comment I was seeking, but I probably butchered my explanation clarity.


Piece,


TAL

I'm not disagreeing with you Tal. But, I really don't see it happening here at that rate, much less outside of here.

Some time when an older thread gets a new comment, check out some of the earlier posts. See how often "her" (with quotes) gets used or people use real girls and what not. Or check out some of the threads where I have had to address members misgendering the TG/TS/CD/TV/LB folks.

So guys dating us doesn't really translate to them being particularly vocal in support of us, even in situations where they are anonymous.