|
|||||||
| Register | Forum Rules | Members List | Today's Posts | Search | Bookmark & Share  |
 |
|
|
Thread Tools | Search this Thread | Display Modes |
|
#1
08-24-2009
|
||||
|
||||
Feared or Respected?
Hi there.
Is it better to be feared or respected? I was feared, and i am respected, and i prefer to be respected a whole lot better. Because when you are feared you are also hated, when you are respected you usually are liked. But many people do not understand what respect is, and how it works. First: Respect is NOT a one way thing, to get respect you HAVE TO give it, but both parties still have to work to keep it or as they say EARN it. Second: treating someone in a polite and/or curtious way is a sign or respect, accepting people for who and what they are even if they are differnt than you is a sign of respect, trying to understand them is a sign of respect, making fun of them or putting them down ISN'T. IT DOESN'T MEAN THAT OTHERS HAVE TO BOW DOWN TO YOU, OR YOU TO THEM, THAT IS NOT RESPECT, THAT IS DOMINANCE, BIG DIFFERENCE. JohnDowe. 
|
|
#3
08-27-2009
|
|||
|
|||
|
I guess I might be considered a bit odd because I'm going to choose Fear for this question.
Respect and being admired is a great thing and it's noble to live well and try to earn it from others by being kind and virtuous. Fear is stronger then respect. I choose Fear. I wouldn't be betrayed if I was feared and I wouldn't be questioned. It's simpler. But would I choose another emotion over Fear? Of course. Which leads me to ask a question to add-on. Is being loved stronger then being feared or respected?
|
|
#4
08-28-2009
|
||||
|
||||
|
Hi there.
You would be betrayed in a minute if they were confronted by something they feared more. Loved over feared, sure, loved over respected, couldn't realy choose, loved but not respected? I don't think so, you need both. Another example: You get hit by a car, hit and run, you are close to dying, people in nearby houses see you, but you can't see them. Feared: reaction: let him die he won't terrorize us anymore. Respected: reaction: Oh, no, call 911, they come to you, the ambulance is on the way, anything we can do to help you? Still prefer feared? JohnDowe.
|
|
#5
09-07-2009
|
||||
|
||||
|
Hi there.
I can't believe that nobody exept Creesence had anything to say about this, which is one of the leading cause of all inter-racial problems today, and most other intra-racial problems, where everybody wants to be respected but they don't understand what respect is, and all too often ends in bloodshed. I do not request you to ansewer, I DEMAND IT. JohnDowe.
|
|
#6
09-08-2009
|
||||
|
||||
|
Fear and respect can go hand in hand. If you respect someone, you would be afraid to wrong them or dissappoint them in any way. So while you do fear them, it is a fear that can be healthy and beneficial to both. However, if you are talking about irrational fear, like someone threatening you with the prospect of death, I will have to go with respect instead.
__________________
*More posts than Bionca* [QUOTE=God(from Futurama)]Right and wrong are just words; what matters is what you do... If you do too much, people get dependent on you. And if you do nothing, they lose hope... When you do things right, people won't be sure you've done anything at all.
|
|
#7
09-08-2009
|
||||
|
||||
|
Hi there.
8 visitors and only 1 post, guys (and girls) get with the program. Haven't you been disrespected, or were afraid of an asshole that liked to be feared? Did you like it? Well speak up, or maby i should say squeek up like little mice? I guess Bionca was right when she said "the cowards we date". So are you pissed enough to ansewer? But of course i would have prefered not to have to taunt you into posting, but whatever works i guess. Also if you do amass the courage to post, try to keep on subject and address the ptoblem, and realise that i only taunted you to try to get some ideas about the miss-information about the respect and fear problem, that often ends up killing our youth. JohnDowe.
|
|
#8
09-09-2009
|
||||
|
||||
|
The meaning of words
You speak of the problems facing our youth. The root of the problem with them is that they don't learn what the word respect really means in school.
Respect is a feeling of esteem and honor for another; that is - you admire positive traits in that person. A feeling of very deep respect is veneration which includes love and reverance. So where did these kids get the wrong idea? They have been taught that respect is coupled with fear. They are told to respect their teachers, their parents, their elders, the police, etc. Not because these people are worthy of respect, but because they are in positions of authority, and the youth are in a subordinate position - one of fear of punishment. So they are mixed up about the difference in respect for someone as a person and respect for a position of authority that someone holds. It's almost as if we need another word for respect as applied to those in authority. How about fearspect?
__________________
Ask Jenae anything, just click on this link: http://forum.transladyboy.com/showthread.php?t=6056
|
|
#11
09-10-2009
|
|||
|
|||
|
Quote:
I wouldn't treat everyone I know like a tyrant I would have a group of people who I care about and they care about me. You said I need both but originally you mentioned I had to choose one or the other. If I'm loved I'm vulnerable to many things such as betrayal and people thinking that while I'm compassionate I am also weak for it. I would choose Love if I could but you asked to be feared or respected and you don't need to be loved to respected.
|
|
#14
09-21-2009
|
||||
|
||||
|
Right back at ya!!! I think it is high time you posted some pics of yourself. And even if you didn't get any pics of the little grey guys, I'll bet you have some of yourself. So let's see them. I saw where you stated that you are a CD and nearly every CD has to take pics of themselves; it is almost an integral part of the scene. Hell, if this F2m Tboy?? had the balls to post self pics, anybody should.
http://forum.transladyboy.com/showth...329#post103329
__________________
Ask Jenae anything, just click on this link: http://forum.transladyboy.com/showthread.php?t=6056
|
|
#15
09-22-2009
|
||||
|
||||
|
Hi there.
I posted this @ http://forum.transladyboy.com/showth...?t=6668&page=2 "I know this is off subject, but... Jenae, much better exposure, you see what constructive criticism can do, the exposure is great, your face is in a normal human color, good job. I guess people are starting to realise that I AM ALWAYS RIGHT ! (Althoug mostly true, it is a joke)" Self pics, ok... Made those pics with webcam i was installing on a freind's cpu and didn't do any more after i saw them, i was pressed for time and did a quick change, only to test the cam, couldn't get myself to delete then though. So have a good laugh, and lets get this over with. JohnDowe.
|
|
#16
09-22-2009
|
||||
|
||||
|
Nope, No way!
Nope, no way! Nothing to laugh about!
unless you were saying that you left the pics on your friends computer.?? Now that would be funny if the pics were a complete surprise to the friend.  Black is my favorite color for the vinyl stuff too. Then comes red. Looks like stiletto heels, 5 or 6 inch? All in all, a pretty effective looking Dom Mistress outfit.
__________________
Ask Jenae anything, just click on this link: http://forum.transladyboy.com/showthread.php?t=6056
|
|
#17
09-22-2009
|
||||
|
||||
|
Hi there.
Thank you Jenae, you ARE too kind, and the heels 5.5" measured them with a square, the proper way to measure heels. It was on my cpu and if it were on my freind's it wouldn't have been a surprise, i told him and his g/f, because i wanted to, i wasn't caught. JohnDowe.
|
|
#18
09-22-2009
|
||||
|
||||
|
Hi there.
First we have to define what respect is and what fear is. Fear is NOT respect, repect is not fear. To get respect you HAVE TO give it, but it doesn't stop there, you then have to earn it and so does the other person you are dealing with, if you don't you lose their respect, and getting it back is VERY difficult. Respect doesn't mean you have to let some one you respect do something that you know is wrong, you interviene, and tell them they are wrong, if they respect you and themselves they will see that they were wrong and you will have gainned more respect from them, but you don't have to keep score, then you would lose respect. It's like giving to a charity, some do it to help out, and do it anonimously, there are some that do it to make them selves look rich or generous, which most people see through anyway, they did give but for all the wrong reasons, their donation will still help, but it is hypocritical non the less, and in a way it is disrespectfull to those that are in their viscinity, those who can't give and those who gave out of the kindness of their heart, it "cheapens" their efforts, they also makes themselves look petty. Respect is treating others as you would like them to treat you, if you do so, they should treat you the same way, because you respected them, they should yespect you back, but of course there are assholes everywhere that will not respect you back, there is no rule that sais that you have to accept dis-respect you can and should let them know that they did dis-respect you, and if he(genericly speaking) is anything close to normal, he should appologize and you would have gainned respect for respecting yourself AND not accepting to be dis-respected, but there are some people that are as close to being past redemtion as humanly possible and will go as far as to beat you up because you stood up for yourself, gang members are an example, and in those cirles only the "leader" is "respected" or more precisely feared, what he sais is law and everything he does is accepted, not so for the others, he is allowed to have sex with any of the member's g/f's but NO ONE better touch his g/f or they will be dealt with most severely, there is absolutely NO RESPECT in these gangs, only fear, threats and dis-respect, it is not a healthy environnement to live in, and it breads more haterd, violence and dis-respect as it grows, it is like a disease. And as Yoda said: Once you go down to the dark side, forever it will consume you. Yes it was a movie, but it doesn't diminish the thruth of it! Fear is a bad thing, almost evil, because the difference between bad and evil is intent, if you kill someone it is a bad thing, but if you hated him and you did it purposefully, then it IS an evil act, and one evil act breads another, and another... I remember when i was 17 or so i was in colege, i lived in Montreal, my new freinds and study group lived on the south shore (Longueuil), so i had to go home after we were done, i would take 1 of 2 routes, depending on the time, the first my freinds would walk me to the bus stop, if it was before 11:30 i would stay to the end of line to the Metro (subway), and get out right next to where i lived, but if it was later then i'd have to get off in a secluded area and wait about 15-20 minutes for another bus, and walk a while to get home, i usually took the second. One time there were 4 guys that were a bit drunk, and were looking for trouble, i saw them, but didn't react to them, i was looking for the bus, then the guys were all around me one on each side and one in back and the "leader" in front of me, then with the back of his hand hits me on the upper chest, not as an attack but as an ivasion of my space, and said: (translated from french) "Hey dude what time is it?" -PAUSE- The guy disrespected me by invading my space and touching me, they were looking for trouble, why else would they be all around me like that? So what should i do? Tell them the time? Then what; that's a nice watch, give it to me, i refuse i get beat-up. No thanks. I could have attacked, and hit two but the two other would have gotten me, then all four would have beaten me real bad, bad plan. -RESUME- I slowly looked at where he touched me and stared him down, being a bit drunk, he didn't get it yet, and hit/touched me again and asked what time it was, again, again i looked where he touched me and stared him down, after a bit, he was getting nervous, and so were his freinds, i was too but they were more nervous than me AND i made a point of NOT showing that i was nervous, and one of them, broke ranks and took the "leader" away and said "this guy's dangerous", and they left, and THEN i told them what time it was as a fuck you thing, and the leader was glad the guy broke rank and took him off of me. What happened there, was that they dis-respected me and wanted to get into a fight that i had little chance of winning, but I DIDN'T let them get away with dis-respect me, and i didn't play their game, because they knew how to play their game, probably much better than me, so i played MY game, and i won, i had kept my self respect and they had a bit of respect for me but alot more fear, in this case it was inevitable, and a good thing, and i had intimidated them, four against one and they were the ones intimidated, who knew? When you are feared, you have to mantain that fear, and you HAVE TO do some bad things to make sure you still are feared, that's a lot of work, while if you are respected all you have to do is smile at people say hello, and treat them kindly, wow, and you don't even need a gun. Excuse the sarcasm, but it did bring the point home a bit. And fear is a fickel thing, you do one little thing that makes you look weak or not worthy of beeing feared, and all those thing you did to be feared, shot to hell, in that instant, that's a lot of pressure to live under on a constant basis. Respecting someone is such a simple thing that it is misunderstood because of it's symplicity, some think that to be respected is everybody bowing down to them, well if you are a good and fair king or you have ascended to such a level that people are in awe of you, it is, but otherwise it is not, that is dominance, a close relative of fear, respect is aknoledging people, treating them as fellow humans, in a kind and caring way, helping them when they need help, instesd of laughing at them, saying a kind word when they are in a bad mood, not biting the head off the one that offers a kind word when you are in a bad mood, saying thank you to the one that helped you, common curtasy and decency, you can't beat someone into respecting you, you HAVE to respect them, and yourself, then they may respect you, but keep in mind that your past with them ALWAYS follows you (with them and thier freinsd), and it may take some time for someone to respect you if you did-respected them first, they may very well think that you aren't sincere, and it will be hard to re-earn the respect you lost. The gang problem is a BIG one, and born of dis-respect, as children we are told to respect elders, the clerics, the police, but some times these people aren't worthy of respect, they are human after all, and none of us are perfect and above reproach, and they slander themselves and the station they represent, and some abuse their authority, and those who suffer at their hands soon get fed up and want to do something about it and the problem escalates to the pointhere it is now, the problem isn't insurmountable but it will get worse before it will get better, Rome wasn't built in a day, neither was this problem it started decades ago, with segregation in the US, the hollocaust in world war 2, the Corean war, the cold war, the neighbour's dog that was killed because it barked all the time, the cops that harrased the kids that were still in the park after it's closing, the kids that were still in the park after it's closing, etc, dis-respectfull actions always have consequences, some minor some not, actions that would have been better handled through discussion or diplomacy, without violence and vindictiveness, without prejudice, but human nature is not always good and problems arise that aren't addressed end up festering over time and the results are usually not good. I have a neighbour that i have a good respectfull relationship with, but because of our races (him black, me white) sometimes we get into mis-understandings, but when we do we talk about it and resolve the problem and often we end up smiling thinking how we mis-interpreted eachother's ideas but in the end we are freinds, when we will move i doubt we will keep in touch but we are freinds at the moment, but the important thing is that we respect eachother and when there is a problem we talk about it and solve it instead of yelling and threatening etc. I will stop now, this is long enough, i will post some more later. For more info ans the fefinition of respect you can go: http://eqi.org/respect.htm JohnDowe. Last edited by johndowe; 09-22-2009 at 05:42 AM. Reason: TYPOS
|
|
#19
09-22-2009
|
||||
|
||||
|
Quote:
I do respect many people, and i don't like to disappoint them, i don't want to wrong them, not because i'm afraid but because i respect them and myself, fear has it's place, in life and death situations, but to live in fear, not a life for me, i'm not used to taking shit from anyone, not my bosses, not my g/f's not my sister, not my dad, my mom did give me shit for a good 20-30 minutes once, for something i did but had FIXED, and she DID pay the price and never crossed me again, no i didn't hit her, i am very freindly, but i do not accept dis-respect from anyone, period. And as for the respect fear thing, it seems to me that the more you respect someone the less you fear them, and the more you fear them the less you respect them, but the less fear on the respect is not that you'd flip them out, but you respect them back and treat them right as they treat you. JohnDowe.
|
|
#20
09-22-2009
|
||||
|
||||
|
Quote:
Re-read my post, you will see that i didn't say both respect and fear, i did say love and respect, not the same thing. If you are loved, and you are vulnerable, and compassionate, vulnerable in love is NOT a bad thing, it means you truely love, trust and respect your lover, it is very far from beeing a weakness, being compassionate, is a VIRTUE, a strength and not a weakness, those who think that it is a weakness are fools that do not understand life and respect. Love without respect canot flourish, it is choked out of existance by the lack of a good respectfull understanding of each of the parties. You seem to see things from an adversarial point of view, not everybody is out to get you, most people are good and decent, lower your deflector shields once in a while and take the time to smell the roses, you may like what you see. And if everybody in your viscinity is out to get you, and everybody else, get the heck out of there, that is NOT NORMAL, it is unhealthy for you and all that participate. Also if you are feared outside of your home/entourage, it WILL come back to you and your entourage sooner or later, usually sooner, because of what you have to do to keep the fear fresh in those that fear you, and one day someone of your entourage will get you mad, and you will act the same way you have with the others that you want to frighten. JohnDowe. Last edited by johndowe; 09-22-2009 at 09:15 AM.
|
|
#21
09-22-2009
|
||||
|
||||
|
Quote:
I hope the war axe is burried, it is on my end. Yes it's true the definition is not out there, and it needs to get out. You bring up a good point an new word for listening to authority figures is indeed needed, since using the word respect causes confusion, listen to and mind might be good, but still i'm not sure how to call it. JohnDowe.
|
|
#22
09-22-2009
|
|||
|
|||
|
Machiavelli
In graduate school, I attended a seminar on leadership taught by Lt. General Dave Palmer (one-time commandant of West Point). The issue of "Fear or Respect" came up and the consensus was that it depends on the situation. If one is commanding troops in battle, there is no room for an "intellectual discussion"--orders must be obeyed. If one is an "ER" or "OR" doctor, immediate "life and death" decisions must be made--no time for discussion. If one is a CEO of a company in trouble--hard decisions must be made--for better or for worse. If one is the President of the US and the "3 AM phone call" comes... same thing.
In all of the examples above, I'm sure the General, Doctor, CEO, and President would prefer to be "respected." Given the immediacy and gravity of the situation however, there is not time to worry about it. If they must be "feared" to accomplish what must be done, then so be it. Personally, in my own career I choose "respect." I can't imagine any case where I would want or need to have my colleagues or students "fear" me. In fact, "fear" would be counterproductive in that it would limit open discussion and inquiry. Perhaps the best treatise on "fear and love (respect)" was written almost 500 years ago... "Upon this a question arises: whether it be better to be loved than feared or feared than loved? It may be answered that one should wish to be both, but, because it is difficult to unite them in one person, is much safer to be feared than loved, when, of the two, either must be dispensed with. Because this is to be asserted in general of men, that they are ungrateful, fickle, false, cowardly, covetous, and as long as you succeed they are yours entirely; they will offer you their blood, property, life and children, as is said above, when the need is far distant; but when it approaches they turn against you. And that prince who, relying entirely on their promises, has neglected other precautions, is ruined; because friendships that are obtained by payments, and not by greatness or nobility of mind, may indeed be earned, but they are not secured, and in time of need cannot be relied upon; and men have less scruple in offending one who is beloved than one who is feared, for love is preserved by the link of obligation which, owing to the baseness of men, is broken at every opportunity for their advantage; but fear preserves you by a dread of punishment which never fails. Nevertheless a prince ought to inspire fear in such a way that, if he does not win love, he avoids hatred; because he can endure very well being feared whilst he is not hated, which will always be as long as he abstains from the property of his citizens and subjects and from their women. But when it is necessary for him to proceed against the life of someone, he must do it on proper justification and for manifest cause, but above all things he must keep his hands off the property of others, because men more quickly forget the death of their father than the loss of their patrimony. Besides, pretexts for taking away the property are never wanting; for he who has once begun to live by robbery will always find pretexts for seizing what belongs to others; but reasons for taking life, on the contrary, are more difficult to find and sooner lapse. But when a prince is with his army, and has under control a multitude of soldiers, then it is quite necessary for him to disregard the reputation of cruelty, for without it he would never hold his army united or disposed to its duties." Returning to the question of being feared or loved, I come to the conclusion that, men loving according to their own will and fearing according to that of the prince, a wise prince should establish himself on that which is in his own control and not in that of others; he must endeavour only to avoid hatred, as is noted." Nicolo Machiavelli -- "The Prince"
|
|
#23
09-22-2009
|
||||
|
||||
|
I was wondering how can we have fear in a forum? i do have respect for
others in here no doubt about that but to have fear, i have no fear... or any where outside either. what i wanted to know is can we have fear in a forum? Last edited by DSL; 09-22-2009 at 02:32 PM.
|
|
#24
09-22-2009
|
|||
|
|||
|
Respect and the Real World
I see that you are all seeking a more “personal” definition of “respect vs. fear.” I think it is a great question worthy of discussion. My only problem with it here is that I find it hard to discuss things like this online without actually knowing the participants. Also, it may be slightly “off topic” for this forum. I’d much rather talk about “Kelly Shore” or “Camila Saenz”…
 Many years before I became a "respected" Associate Professor--back in high school and college I played football, rode a motorcycle, listened to Metallica, and was considered something of a “badass” or "hooligan." I was the guy who was “voted most likely to succeed or end up on the 10 most wanted list.” LOL The last time I got into a fight and “beat the shit” out of someone was my Freshman year of college and fortunately for me it was considered “self defense.” Somewhere along the way I “grew up” and focused my energies on more “productive” endeavors like studying hard, thinking about a career other than in the NFL, being a good husband, etc. Our society typically doesn’t condone violence as a solution to personal disagreements and “kicking someone’s ass” can more often than not, land you in jail. Where you will get lots of “love and respect” from your fellow inmates! LOL My reaction to someone’s “in your face” response now would be to laugh and walk away. Where it goes from there is up to the other person. I have never had anyone pursue it further. Kind of like “flipping the bird” to someone while driving. Do you really want to “kill” the other driver? There was a well publicized “road rage” incident here just a few weeks ago. The driver who felt “disrespected” is now facing his day in court. Again, years of “love and respect” from your new “cellmates.” The clear exception would be if someone posed an immediate threat to myself or my family. That is another matter entirely and involves principles of “self defense.” If you want to read a great book on the issues involved in using deadly force, I suggest “In the Gravest Extreme” by Massad Ayoob. Peace (and Respect)… 
Last edited by aw9725; 09-22-2009 at 02:49 PM.
|
|
#25
09-22-2009
|
||||
|
||||
|
Hi there.
In the example of the general, the ceo and the doc, if the respect is already established, the orders issued might be ill recieved by the subordinates, but will probably be forgiven considering the urgency of the situation, so the abruptness is understandable and almost expected, once they come face to face with the problem. As for love and respect, i'm not sure i agree with all of it but there are points of merit, irregardless how great the man was, nobody is perfect, not even me, but, i will meditate on this. JohnDowe. Last edited by johndowe; 09-22-2009 at 02:53 PM.
|
|
#26
09-22-2009
|
||||
|
||||
|
Quote:
Well, not to sound like a know it all, but it is possible but not really probable, the only fear i can see as possible is if someone disclosed a guarded secret and would be afraid of being discovered, that kind of thing, intimidations might be possible but, one can always close the window and never come back, which doesn't necesarily imply fear, but maby anoyance? No fear outside the forum in the real world? I underatand that if you don't cross people they shouldn't cross you, and if you respect everybody they should respect you back, but there are assholes and gangs out there, and they usually "don't take prisonners", (the gangs) so i don't know how to put this any better than this; are you oblivious to what is happening around you? Have you read my LOOONG post in this thread, when i said i was nervous when the 4 guys were around me it was fear that made me nervous and them too, so i am not without fear and never pretended to be, and when i am in a confrontation there is almost always at least a little bit of fear, the thing is to not show your fear and to control it so it doesn't debilitate you, but no fear at all ever? I am doubtfull, even if you do not get into confrontations, life can get scary at times. JohnDowe. Last edited by johndowe; 09-22-2009 at 03:13 PM.
|
|
#27
09-22-2009
|
|||
|
|||
|
Personal Information
To all my friends on this forum (this includes you too JohnDowe!):
I find these conversations quite interesting and enjoyable but it would be nice to know a little bit more about some of you. I really am the guy in the picture and yes, all of the stuff I've listed and talked about in my posts is true. If I were lying, I would've said I really am Hugh Jackman and married to Kelly Shore (in my dreams!), and in my spare time I am Director of NASA, and Obama's top security adviser! Oh, and I taught Tom Brady everything he knows about playing quaterback! LOL! Seriously, I completely understand why anyone would be reluctant to share and I respect each and everyone's reasons. Just would be interested in knowing more about you. For what it's worth, this has been a great place to hang out and I look forward to coming here each day for whatever reasons.Later... 
Last edited by aw9725; 09-22-2009 at 03:31 PM.
|
|
#28
09-22-2009
|
|||
|
|||
|
Handled it well
Quote:
JohnDowe, I went back and re-read your earlier post about the 4 guys. For what it's worth, I think you handled it well and with courage.
Last edited by aw9725; 09-22-2009 at 03:55 PM.
|
|
#29
09-22-2009
|
|||
|
|||
|
Self Defense?
I was thinking about this "thread" some more and I detect an underlying current...
JohnDowe and others have raised some valid and important issues regarding standing up for yourself. No one should have to live in fear. I think working out, taking Karate lessons, or even "carrying" (if it's legal where you live--and you know how to use a firearm--you DON’T want to shoot yourself!) are all acceptable to the alternative. Even if you never (hopefully) have to use anything that you learned--you will have more confidence in yourself. Being aware of one's surroundings, hanging out in groups, etc. are also means to discourage attackers. Cell phones have helped too, I believe. But you know all of this. I'm not too worried about myself, but when I go downtown I am usually "more aware" of my surroundings than say--when I am at home. On a lighter note, the last time I got my ass kicked was against Ohio State many years ago. LOL! They are known for having really BIG offensive linemen. Ever hear of Orlando Pace? Later...
Last edited by aw9725; 09-22-2009 at 05:50 PM.
|
|
#30
09-22-2009
|
||||
|
||||
Quote:
|
|
#33
09-24-2009
|
||||
|
||||
|
Quote:
Again Sue, more info, one line is not enough, elaborate, look at my posts, very LOOOOONNNNNG, explain the situation, your feelings, beeing a girl, it shouldn't hard (ha,ha,ha). If you can pass as your twin sister, you must be quite cute and girly, good for you, and she's your best freind, i'm sure she helped you with make-up clothes etc, not every tgirl is so lucky, not to say your life is perfect, but it seems to have at least some good points. JohnDowe.
|
|
#35
09-24-2009
|
||||
|
||||
|
Hi there.
Yes, AW9725, i think i handled that situation pretty well, and THANK YOU for saying so. But, one thing i find deplorable, and those who do it don't know better, unfortunately. What i refer to is that some people who have never been in such a situation, and say "I would've done this", "I would've done that" which is all good and fine for bar talk, but in their little "I would've..." senarios, there is absolutely no possibility of them getting hurt in any way, as if they were Superman or something, which in the real event, there was a very real possibility of getting hurt and if you do the wrong thing, you can get hurt, sometimes badly, also your nerves are acting up, it just doesn't compare to their "I would've" senarios. I tried to make them undesrtand but i would have better results talking to a tree, because they are so sure of their assumed responses that they ingnore anything anybody says about the lack of realism of their senarios. Any way, i didn't start off wanting to discuss this, it just popped in my mind. JohnDowe. Last edited by johndowe; 09-24-2009 at 05:53 PM.
|
|
#36
09-24-2009
|
||||
|
||||
|
Hi there.
Aw9725, i think you need to check your avatar, it's you in the pic? your avatar is a motorcycle! I use the JohnDowe (read John Doe) handle because when i joined, i didn't know what this forum was all about, all i was interested in at the time was the toon ts pics. My name is Peter, i am 50yo, TV, pics in this thread, was maried, divorced, because wife couldn't win most arguements, mostly, never hit her. Got into and out of many sticky situations, when i was younger, i was and still am quite sarcastic at times, got into a few fights, won most, intimidated some guys that tought they were unintimidatable, didn't have that many g/f's never had a tgirl sexual encounter yet, and i am a bit of a joker at times, but rarely dis-respectfull, only dis-respectfull when i get dis-respected, very rarely take shit from anyone, i prefer to be freindly, but it isn't always up to me. I work at home, i am a PC tech, and offer my services to members fo this forum, i am quite outspoken, and i can come across as agressive even if i don't mean to, i like to do my own thing and public opinion is not a great consern of mine. I usually give freely, don't look for thanks, i do want to know if what i did or said helped though. JohnDowe. Last edited by johndowe; 09-24-2009 at 06:21 PM.
|
|
#37
09-24-2009
|
|||
|
|||
|
Profile Pic
Quote:
Well actually I am "Optimus Prime's" little brother. I sometimes transform into a motorcycle... Seriously, I meant my "profile" pic. You should be able to see it if you are logged in. I was born and raised in Detroit, Michigan, managed to acquire far too much formal education, and have taught at a large university somewhere in the mid-western USA for the last ten years or so. I was married for almost 15 years and recently divorced. My areas of teaching include Operations Management and Quantitative Methods. And yes, I am into things like motorcycles, fast cars, and trucks. You can find some of my current and former "toys" in some of my other postings. I have enjoyed reading your posts. I appreciate your sense of humor and irony. This forum has been both fun and educational for me as I have sought to learn more about myself. Take care, "Andrew"
|
|
#38
09-24-2009
|
||||
|
||||
|
Hi there.
Well, Andrew Prime, it's nice to meet you... But seriously, i also enjoyed your posts, especially the Prince one, it got me thinking, outch! When i started this thread, i didn't realy have a good idea what i wanted out of it other then getting other peoples' pespective, and then i saw a movie called "Freedom Writers" that touched this subject and i shifted the direstion of the thread, and i was more interested in the responces than in the begining, and some of the posts were like questions so i ansewered them to the best of my abbilities. I am not an expert in psychology nor am i an expert on human nature, (both are similar but there are differences) but i have had an interesting life, so i believe that can ansewer the questions posed here with a certain degree of accuracy, but i know that i am human and i don't have ALL the ansewers, the only ones that have all the ansewers didn't ask themselves all the questions. Also, in real life i am very good at sizing people up, but when i started posting in this forum i didn't get that sizing up thing and it tought me about how other that can't size people as i could, saw things and people, and it was and still is an interesting experience. JohnDowe.
|
|
#39
09-24-2009
|
||||
|
||||
Quote:
Like I was saying my sister is everything to me now.I owe my life to her. she is a year older than me. I will be posting a picture of me sometime later. I want to be in stealth mode you now. Can't be to explicated about me. Is this ok? Peter,
|
|
#40
09-25-2009
|
||||
|
||||
|
Hi there.
When i told you to elaborate, i tought you had a question about respect and you weren't stating it properly, since many of the other posts were questions about respect, and i tried to ansewer them to the best of my abbilities. But it seems you just wanted to state what happened to you, well then it's fine by me, i wasn't trying to pry, i just tought you had problems expressing your question. By your posts, you seem like a realy girly girl, fragile even, which isn't a bad thing in itself, but it does leave you "open for attack" as it were, and some unsavory people can and apparently have taken advantage of that, the problem is not you, but them, they are vile people, and as such do vile things. The thing is to get respect you have to give respect, and you then have to work at earning the respect that was first given freely, and so does the othe peraon(s) you are dealing with, but... But, if they don't respect you, you have to stand up for yourself, i know it is easier said than done, i am a male 6' tall 180# when i ran into the 4 guys, if i would have been 5'4" 100# tgirl, i would have to have handled the situation very differently, how? To be honest i don't know. If i see a pisse-off girl, i don't see her as a threat, very few women know how to fight, and are usually not going to attack a guy no matter how mad they are, but if i see a pissed-off guy, i percieve him as a possible threat, and i know how to take care of myself, within reason of course. But then again, you dont have to be King Kong to intimidate someone, i've seen a petite little girl intimidate a BIG guy once, it was funny in a way, but she didn't take his shit and did it VERY well, i had alot of respect for that little girl, she didn't let her small stature prevent her form standing up to the much bugger guy that was maligning her, if it got physical, he would have torn her to shreads, but she didn't let it go that far, i'm sure she was at least a bit afraid, but she stood up for herself non the less, and one thing she did was that no matter how afraid she was she DIDN'T let it show. As you notice i don't have all the ansewers, but as far as i'm conserned, to live in fear is no life at all, and sometimes you have to stan-up for yourself, because no one can do it for you, your sister can help you, and she can stand up for herself, but only you can stand-up for yourself, when she helps you and stands up for you, she is in effect standing up for herself and you, and she's the one that gets the respect, not you, you will only be safe from them when she is with you. Another important point is knowing when to stand-up for yourself and when to let things slide, you should never fight a battle you can avoid AND have no chance of winning, and even if someone makes you the target af a slightly malingnate joke, you can let it pass, but not if they do it to taunt you. Also, if you feel confortable about posting a pic or two, i would like to see you and your TWIN sister togather, since she is your best freind, but you don't have to if you don't want to. JohnDowe (Peter). Last edited by johndowe; 09-25-2009 at 07:19 AM.
|
|
#41
09-25-2009
|
||||
|
||||
|
Hi there.
About the "respect" autority, (Jenae) i believe the schools should teach about respect and to "listen" to figures of autority, but, somehow i don't thust them to do a good job on the later, since they are in a position of autority and may very well seem hypocritical while explaining it. JohnDowe, (Peter).
|
|
#42
09-25-2009
|
||||
|
||||
|
Quote:
|
|
#44
09-26-2009
|
||||
|
||||
|
Hi there.
More about respect. If a guy gets picked on by others, and is beeing bullied, then he gets a gun. Asked, he will say: I didn't get any respect before, now i do. But is it respect? No! The reason he is no longer gets picked on is because he has a gun, and the guys that picked on him don't want to get shot, but if he lost the gun and they knew it he would realy get it, so where's the respect? When you dis-respect some one, you also dis-respect yourself, you belittle your self, you also loose respect from those who see you dis-respecting others. Earning respect is very easy, if you are a decent human beeing, you treat others like you would want them to treat you, you accept them as they are, and we are all different in one way or another, we aren't all the same, we all have feelings and emotions, we all have things we like and things we don't like, we are not always wrong, and we aren't always right (except me of course, Joking) and if you have a difference of opinion, you talk to them about it, in a calm and freindly way; respectfully, you don't attack them because they are different or have a different opinion than you, that is dis-respectfull. Respecting someone you like is easy, respecting someone you don't like is not as easy, but the fact that you don't like him does it make him less of a person? And hence not worthy of respect? Of course not, and if you respect him even if you don't like him, you respect yourself and he should respect you back and eventually you could even become freinds, but not if you dis-respect him. Personally, when a new tennant moves in "my" building and i see him or her i greet them with my signature "Hi there." and they usually respond positively, only one tought i had ulterior motives, but after a few times i said hi to him he spoke to me and told me that where he came from, when people spoke to him it was to get something from him, and he appologised. I worked door to door for 7 years, and i was good at it, some of the reasons were because i was freindly and respectfull. In those seven years i only got the door slammed in my face 3 times, and once a guy tried to close the screen outer door i was holding, i didn't move to let him close it and stared him down, he appologised and closed the door, he didn't slam the door in my face like he wanted, and i didn't make my sell, but i didn't let him dis-respect me. Love and respect... If you love someone you respect them, and when you are in a relationship, and living togather, the respect should increase as the love also increases, that doesn't mean you should accept any thing and everything your partner does and sais, you can disagree with someone and argue with him without dis-respecting him, but all too often, in my experience, women get this notion that it is OK for her dis-respect her lover when she isn't 100% pleased with him, and when this happens she starts to bitch her little head off, AND not just about what just set her off, but also every little thing he ever did since they met, again and again, and after the 100th time she did that, he beats her up, then she's all surprised, wondering why he beat her she NEVER EVER did anything to deserve getting hit, much less beat up, why did he beat her? Because he was rightfully tired of her dis-respecting him and treating him like shit, it was wrong of him to beat her up, but it was also wrong of her to bitch her little head off at him, every single time she did it, if she realy loved and respected him she wouldn't have bitched at him in the first place, dis-respect breads dis-respect, and it is never healthy. IT IS NEVER OK TO DIS-RESPECT ANYONE, NO EXCEPTIONS. And if you are, you shouldn't stand for it. PS, i have stated it before, and i state it again, i have never hit any of my girlfriens or my (ex)wife. JohnDowe. Last edited by johndowe; 09-26-2009 at 04:40 PM.
|
|
#45
09-26-2009
|
||||
|
||||
|
Quote:
That is a ridiculous thing to say John. Without their opposites, most things lose their meaning. For everyone to respect one another, than the meaning of respect is gone. Simple case: If I see a man kick a dog for no reason, I am not allowed to dis respect him? Get real man! All I can figure you meant by this is that respect should be given until the other proves that they are not worthy of it. As for me, there are plently of two-legged varimints in this world that I will dis-respect everytime. And would put a bullet in if it was possible to do so with impunity. Would you respect these guys?
__________________
Ask Jenae anything, just click on this link: http://forum.transladyboy.com/showthread.php?t=6056
|
|
#46
09-27-2009
|
||||
|
||||
|
Quote:
"Dealing with" the guy that kicked his dog is not dis-respecting him, it is correcting a wrong, he looses respect from you, yes, but in a way you are trying to help him to understand that it is wrong to kick his dog, as long as you don't kick him to show him, see the difference? In your third statement, i agree to the extent that: if they don't respect you back, they don't earn their respect and are dis-respecting themselves and showing themselves to be only worthy of minimal respect, they are still human beeings. Well, i agree that there are some vile people in this world, and some would deserve to be shot or even tortured to death for what they have done, but if you were to kill them, wouldn't that make you the same as they are, maby not as bad, but going down the same path? About Hitler & Stalin, they didn't set out to be the way they were, when he was a child Adolph didn't aspire to kill 6,000,000 jewish people, but as he grew up and lived, his hared for others especially jewish people grew, and because of the stupid things the jews and the french did to the germans that started ww2, as i often say, it takes 2 to tango, you can't start a fight alone, but they did very vile things, and deserved their end, and more, but they were human beeings and deserved a minimal amount of respect even if they didn't show any to their victims, again if we do the very same thing they did, that makes us th same as the were, because, they too did what they did in reaction to what was done to them, where does it end? When we exterminate ourselves, and there are no more humans on the face of the earth? It was written that eveil is easy, but good is hard. And i agree that evil is easier, good is not always as hard as it is touted to be in that writing, when you look into yourself about an action you are about to take, you know if it is good or bad, and you choose to do it or not, so sometimes good may be harder, but evil or bad can also be hard. But in the end you are more likely to regret a bad action than a good one, regretting having killed some one doesn't bring him(or her) back, while regretting having given the last of your money to a charity is not as bad and you will get more money at some point soon anyway. And as i stated earlyer in this post, when you do a bad thing including dis-respecting someone, you dis-respect yourself. JohnDowe. Last edited by johndowe; 09-27-2009 at 08:42 AM. Reason: Typos, typos and more typos.
|
|
#47
09-27-2009
|
||||
|
||||
|
Quote:
|
|
#48
09-27-2009
|
||||
|
||||
|
Hi there.
First i NEVER said the jews deserved to be killed at auschwitz, far from it. What i was refering to it the fact that the french and the jews flooded the already weak german economy with counterfit deutch marks, collapsing the german economy, Hitler beeing a failled house painter, already in a bad state of mind was made aware of that fact and consolidated his political career and used the jews as the reasons for all of germany's problems, they were responsable of a bit of them but not all of them, but saying that rallied the masses to his cause and gained more and more followers and support, until he got in power. He was a clever man and VERY charismatic, but he was also consumed by hatred, and did horendous things, as we all know. AS for proof i don't have any, any more than you do to contradict my statements. The only thing close to proving this is the fact that the german economy did collapse and there were alot of counterfiet german currency. And as we all know, those were volatile times and alot of records were destroyed, and not all accidentally(and on all sides). Also i didn't think about what i was saying and i should have elaborated, but i didn't and i didn't mean to be dis-reapectfull of the jewish people or any other people for that matter, and for that I APPOLOGISE, but colapsing the german economy was a very stupid thing to do, irregardless of who did it. JohnDowe. Last edited by johndowe; 09-27-2009 at 09:57 AM.
|
|
#49
09-27-2009
|
||||
|
||||
|
Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
Disclaimer - Don't take any of my statements as support for Hitler, the NSDAP, or policies of Germany. Nor should anyone take my statements as support for or justification for WWII.
|
|
#50
09-27-2009
|
||||
|
||||
|
Hi there.
The big thing here, is that neither of us was there at the time. And that there were lots of things that happened that weren't recorded and or were destroyed, so it is hard to proove anything beyond a resonable doubt, but if everybody would have been more tolerent hence more respectful, ww2 very probably would never have happened. JohnDowe.
|
|
|
|
Linear Mode
