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#1
03-01-2009
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i can do it.. but i can't do it...
so some of you might remember me posting a thread here that i said i was able to get in contact with some really good lookin shemale escorts, and well, i guess this is the update...
i have the money.. i have the transportation, the full ability, and the courage to do it.. but i cannot actually DO it. i don't know why. i talk to the girl over the phone, then something inside of me just says NOOOOOOOOO and i end up just looking at porn... perhaps it has to do with my own insecurity... sometimes i think she would not like me, and perhaps she would not enjoy it... don't come in here and tell me not to do it because you think i'm a confused person and will end up having an outbreak and hurting the girl.. because that is definately NOT the problem. i am absolutely sure that if i were to meet a tgirl for escort purposes, i would be as polite, gentle, and nice as possible. maybe it's the thought of how she'd treat me that scares me i guess it has something to do with the rushing of the whole situation.. i call the girl and she just wants to know when and where, that's it... it kind of makes me nervous to go so fast.. ESPECIALLY since i am a virgin (yes, to both tgirls and girls).. i'm only 18 and i'm not used to being physical with any type of girl.. in fact, girls in general make me nervous just casually talking to them.. i can't imagine sex talk... so maybe i've answered my own question.. if there ever was a question lol oh yeah and i'm always afraid of std's.. i mean, most of them say they are clean, but can you actually trust them? especially for the ones who do it for low price, like 100 bux anyway here's who i've been looking at http://www.candicox.com/ http://www.tsmelissa.com/ and also ladyboy MAITAI, some of u may have seen her in porn vids... she is absolutely amazing, but unfortunately she told me she doesn't do escorts anymore because she got a boyfriend!!  she would have definitely been my first pick...i attached a pic down there...any replies would be appreciated... Last edited by guest; 03-01-2009 at 03:30 AM. 
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#2
03-01-2009
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Maybe you're affraid to take that leap of faith?
I can understand what you're saying, but sometimes you've just got to take a deep breath and try things.
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#3
03-01-2009
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There are two ways I can address this.
1) is to say that this girl is an escort. That means she is doing it for the money. She doesn't give a rat's ass wether you make her enjoy it or not. Nor does she care about your sensitive mixed feelings. She is not here to fall in love with you. Hurry up, drop your pants and fuck; there's another guy waiting at 11:00. If you get a STD from this, well deal with it baby. Not my f***ing problem. 2) Your 18 and your sence of sencibilities is telling you what you already know is ethically or morally correct. Yes you want sex, but you are being held back by your true desire to have someone to love in your life. Having sex with someone you love is a heck of a lot easier than trying to love someone you merely had sex with. 3) yes there is a 3rd responce. If you have sex with a person that your conscience is telling you not to, you will never trust anyone again. That sounds odd but it is also true. If you want this responce in more detail then PM me. If you need to know, I'm NOT an escort.
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#5
03-01-2009
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Its like jumping into a cold pool!!! you know its going to be uncomfortable at first but it will feel good in the long run..!!!!!
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#6
03-01-2009
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much older than you
As someone much older than you, I'd like to offer this advice. It follows largely from what franalexes suggests.
1. It's not just, as she writes, that "having sex with someone you love is a heck of a lot easier than trying to love someone you merely had sex with." There's something very special to that sex. It is genuine lovemaking. And the fear of being a first-timer sexually only exacerbates this knowledge of the difference, and makes you wonder. 2. On the trust issue, it's also about trusting yourself. There's something to be said for getting the loss of virginity over with and then moving on from there. But you have to trust yourself as much, if not more than the partner, that now is your time. That doesn't just have to do with the love issue, but everything else you can imagine. The good news might be that you are thinking these things through, and that it sounds (at least for now) that you are not going to lose your virginity in a drunken stupor at a party, or some similar circumstance, where any prior consideration of how you want to handle this rite of passage is essentially out the window.
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#7
03-01-2009
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A few thoughts:
Never be afraid to explore your sexuality (i would add in a moderated way), but be sure to prioritize what you really want in life. I know it sounds like too much to handle at such young age, but you have to be honest with yourself and decide what should come first: (an emotionally) meaningless sex, or a sexual relationship with someone you trust and are comfortable with exploring your sexuality. Sexuality, in my opinion, needs to be explored with caution. Instant sexual gratification is great, but you might first want to be confident in yourself and your sexuality before you can handle sex with a complete stranger. I might sound too 'romantic', but trust me, its always better to build up sexual confidence with someone you trust, otherwise your insecurities could have a bad effect in your next relationship/sexual encounter. About STD's, i would recommend that you extreme precautions. Always, and i really mean ALWAYS wear a condom and don't try to do things that you are not experienced in yet. Good luck.
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#8
03-01-2009
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Hello, pal. Like everyone else, I just thought I'd throw my 2 cents in. Personally, I think it's brave and emotionally honest of you (as an 18-year-old) to have written what you did and to be asking the questions that you are. So, speaking as someone older and with more experience, I'm going to try and show you respect and talk man-to-man to you and NOT sugar coat anything. Because for an important talk like this, I don't think you're looking for candy coated or fluff advice. I think you'd like real answers or at least some real suggestions that you can chew on before making a final decision about "what" you want to do. So here goes...
Quote:
Maybe an inner voice IS trying to tell you something. Quote:
Oh, wait -- I just said that, didn't I? Well, perhaps it needed repeating. >hint hint< Quote:
As a professional escort, she's being paid to like you and being paid to enjoy it (or at least act it). More importantly, SHE knows that coming in. So, no matter how great or how crappy your encounter goes, she's still going to tell you, "Baby, you were a stud in bed!" followed by other ego-building comments like "Oh, honey, no one ever made me feel that way! You were my best ever!!!" As a professional escort, SHE KNOWS that giving you a sense of accomplishment and leaving you on an emotional high...giving you a King of the Hill feeling...is what she's there for. SHE KNOWS that moaning in bed or tossing lots of kind words at you...doing whatever it takes to make you feel good and get you off...is her job. And trust me, since she's a professional escort, from the moment you meet face-to-face, she will be instantly sizing you up (or she will be if she's any kind of escort worth good money). What I mean is, from the moment she walks in the door, she'll be trying to analyze you and figure out what buttons she can push to make the encounter go well. Simply because THAT is good business to her. The better a time you have, not only will she feel more comfortable being around you (after all, you ARE a total stranger to her), but more importantly the better the chances that you'll hire her again. Translation: she makes more money, which is the ONLY reason she's in the room with you to begin with. On the other hand, here's REALITY CHECK 2 and another bucket of cold water. When it's all over, IF for one reason or another it really was a bad time, odds are she's never going to see you again anyway. If it was THAT bad of a time, she'll just shrug her shoulders and say "I can do without his money. I have other clients to take care of." Remember: this is what she does for a living. She's NOT there in a room having sex with you because you met at school or work or bumped into each other on the street and romantic sparks flew. She's NOT there because you met on a dating site. She's NOT there looking for love. She's NOT having sex for money because she's looking for personal intimacy (and if she is, she's got deeper psychological issues, but that's a whole other topic). And most of all, since she's a pro, it's NOT like you are her one and only client. You are a business deal to her and nothing more. PERIOD. So, if you try to book her again and she turns you down -- well, that's when you'll discover she didn't enjoy herself or she had some sort of problem being with you. But what will you care? By that point in time, you will now have had your first sexual experience...you will have finally broken the ice, so to speak...so that is finally behind you. Which means NOW you'll probably want to try other things or try being with other people, so it shouldn't bother you anyway. In short, emotionally you won't care that you're not seeing her again, which frankly is the natural end result and whole POINT of being with a paid, professional escort/hooker: namely, the world goes on for both you, no ties or entanglements, and both of you get on with your REAL lives. So again, this whole notion of "Will she like me?" or "Will she enjoy it?" doesn't even enter the equation. It's a business deal. You get off, she gets money, end of story.
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#9
03-01-2009
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Quote:
Then again, to address that point (since you did bring it up), only YOU know your REAL emotional state as you go down this path, pal. Only YOU know how it REALLY makes you feel deep down inside to think about your first time and what you WANT it to be like. And only YOU can really imagine how you'll actually react once you are all alone in a room with this other person. Plus, I could argue that since you did bring up this idea of an "outbreak" or "hurting the girl in the room" that you were subconsciously -- and now even consciously -- thinking about SAFETY as an issue overall. However, perhaps not just for her, but just as important for YOU. So, yes, wondering how she'll treat you or what could happen, once you are all alone in a room with her, IS something you should consider. But that also brings us to REALITY CHECK 3: going into ANY situation involving an escort or hooker (or "sex worker", to put it more politely for anyone who objects to me using escort and hooker side-by-side) you should ALWAYS keep your eyes open about your own safety. Sure, of course you have to worry about STDs. That's a given. If we all have to give you a lecture and break out the stats about communicable diseases and having sex with a total stranger, then we're in for a loooooooong thread. But I'm sure you've heard THAT all before. I'm talking about something different though. I'm saying you should also keep in mind how you'll actually feel once you are literally naked -- butt naked for all the world to see -- and all alone with this other person, a total stranger that you've just met, and the sheer amount of trust that HAS to exist when you find yourself in that compromising situation. YOU need to feel every bit as comfortable as she does, and I think you're recognizing that now. Which is why your mind is racing back and forth over certain things. Plus, IF you choose to be with a professional escort and you have the choice between in-call and out-call service, you want to feel safe about where you're going OR you want to feel safe with having a total stranger visiting you -- especially if she brings along some sort of bodyguard or a "driver" who will sit in a car outside, whose job it is to remain close by and able to rush in, in case she suddenly feels unsafe or uncomfortable. So, it's okay to be a "nice guy" and say you want her to be comfortable. That's very gentlemanly of you. Just keep in mind that door swings BOTH ways and you should feel safe too. ESPECIALLY for your "first time", where you want to be completely focused on the experience and focused on the moment and actually enjoying it, and NOT having part of your brain worrying about whether your wallet is going to get picked or someone is going to suddenly come barging in on you.
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#10
03-01-2009
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Quote:
So here's REALITY CHECK 4 for you... The fact that she just wants to know when and where and that's all she cares about -- in other words, she's not interested in talking to you a lot more beforehand, in order to "know you" as a person -- should really ram home the point that this is ONLY a business deal for her. She's going to show up, make you feel good, get you off...at which point you pay, she leaves. Wham! Bam! Thank you, Ma'am! So, it's sort of ironic that you used the phrase "to go so fast" because that's exactly what SHE wants to see happen. She DOES want it to go fast. Again, she's NOT coming to see you to cuddle with you on the couch while watching TV and to chat. NOR is she looking to spend lots of time getting to know you. From what you wrote, I get the impression that deep down inside you'd still like your "first time" to be a bit special... ...Unfortunately, she's looking at her "when and where" watch on her wrist and the comic book thought balloon that is floating over her head REALLY says: "I hope this kid cums fast. I have a 3:00 after this guy, and if I can get through them both by 5:00 then I can work in that guy who just emailed me. Heck, maybe I can even get in that other guy who just left a message on my machine as well. I thought there were only going to be two today, but my bank account will be much happier if I can fuck all 4 of these guys by 9:00." Gee, for a "first time", it doesn't sound so special when it gets put THAT way, does it, pal? Quote:
At which point Ben Stiller goes wide-eyed and asks "What are you talking about?" and Chris Elliot shakes his head and says "You mean all this time you've been going out on dates with a loaded gun? Don't you know that the ONLY time when a man thinks clearly...when he can hold a conversation with a woman and actually talk to her as a woman... is AFTER he's blown his load? For guys, that's the only time when we DO think straight!" To which Ben Stiller replies "You're right! No wonder my dates always go bad! I've been going out with a loaded gun!" So, as Chris Elliot accurately rattles off the terms, go choke the chicken, spank the monkey, flog the dolphin, or unload the gun before you do something now that you'll regret later. Because not to sound too girly here, even for a man your "first time" should be fun and romantic and special and a cherished memory, and so many more things. I know you might feel anxious to "do it"...you might feel it's something you need to do for all sorts of personal reasons all your own...but not to sound TOO old or fatherly here (hey, I'm not that old!), I'm just saying you should do it for the right reasons and because it's something YOU are ready for and because you are doing it with someone you WANT to share yourself with, on THAT intimate a level. And here's my other 2 cents: anyone here who is telling you to just "go for it" and go with your urges and NOT think things through doesn't have your best interests at heart and is only thinking with an sexual urge. It's almost as if they want to get off vicariously THROUGH you. It's like they want you to go have sex and then come back and post about your "first time" -- with a TS no less! -- which will then give them a possible hot post to stroke off to. Which is utterly silly. You don't need any of that, pal. This is YOUR life and this should be YOUR special moment and, in the end, this will be YOUR cherished memory for life. Or at least it should be a cherished memory. And that's the other thing to remember: this is a ONE TIME deal. You don't get a "do over" and there is NO rewind button. What happens will always be your first time -- whether it comes with happiness OR regrets. So with that in mind, since you seem a bit nervous or questioning right now and (by your own admission) your mind is saying "Nooooo", maybe you should wait a bit longer until the time IS right or you DO find that one special person to lose your virginity to. Gee, would I be TOO old fashioned to say you should at least wait till it's someone you actually love? My point is, this should be as spectacular as YOU want it to be. And there's nothing wrong with waiting. Hey, compared to you, I didn't lose my virginity till a few years out -- until after I was out of college and in my early twenties. But you know what? It was great and I'll always remember her and that's something no one can ever take away from me. So don't let anyone take it away from you either, pal. Quote:
Quote:
So, yes, I think you just answered your own question. Again! Anyway, sorry I wrote so much, but I thought this was an important topic to discuss. Best to you, pal, and I hope that no matter what you do, it turns out all right!
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#11
03-01-2009
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wow, creativemind i really appreciate that reply, it definitely helped.
i decided to not do it.. the night i wrote that, a few minutes later the chicken was choked, and it's very true, the mind thinks much clearer. it was probably written out of my sexual urge if anything... now that i'm thinking clearly, i think about how it would actually be if i went through with it and i can't stand the thought of actually doing it anymore. taking into consideration every little detail, from how i would greet her, to how i would walk, to my body posture, to the thought of going into her home and feeling like i'm in a foreign place... i don't even think i'd be able to get my dick hard to honest now that i think about it. not to mention the std's. getting std's my first time? hah that'd be a trip. screw it. i'll just keep my money and use it for something worth while. i would love for my first to be a genetic girl just for the sake of tradition i suppose (don't get me wrong, i love real girls just as much if not more as tgirls), but sometimes i doubt my own ability to talk to girls. i go to college so there's plenty there, but it's still tough. especially when i don't know how to keep a conversation flowing with a girl. as for the emotional thing, about having some sort of desire for a connection instead of just sex, i realize that it'll never happen with a hooker. and just for masculinity's sake, i don't really care much when it comes to all that shit, but sure it would be nice. so that's another reason to stay away for now i guess? anyway, i'm pretty sure i'm just gonna wait. pron is really a brilliant thing, and should be praised by psychologists, therapists, and scientists, lol because it can really keep you from doing some stupid stuff. Last edited by guest; 03-01-2009 at 11:37 PM.
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#12
03-02-2009
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Your 18 and your sence of sencibilities is telling you what you already know
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#13
03-02-2009
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don't worry honey,
I'ts better to have regret of something you've done than have regret that you it never done. Just try once if you like it go on if you don't you didn't wasting years of doubting if you would like i or not. much love kendra
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#14
03-02-2009
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Quote:
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#16
03-02-2009
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pal-
Creative Mind probably gave you the best advice ever. As a general rule, that voice in your head is telling you something important. Maybe you really aren't at a point where you can handle the mind-fuck that comes from sex with a trans*woman (it happens.. trust me). Maybe you are telling yourself that your first time shouldn't be a financial arrangement. Dismiss it or not, but you will always remember your first time as long as you live. You may eventually have hundreds of partners of all genders in every imaginable way and combination. They can become a blur of naked flesh and you may forget names, dates, and places... but your first time will always be clear as the day it happened. Do what you need to, but remember that will only happen once in your life.
__________________
- I hate being braver than the guys I date. - Yes, it's me in the avatar Blog: http://laughriotgirl.wordpress.com/
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