What stops/stopped you from getting a TS partner?

[british_boy]

Just flicking through some of the threads in General Discussion, I noticed that a lot of guys here, even the younger ones, have genetic wives and girlfriends.

You clearly love the T side of life (why else would you be here?), so I'm curious as to why you 'settled' for less than your heart's desire. Was it family pressure, social pressure, religion?

Maybe you just see TS porn as a bit of a release?

Do you ever feel like you took the easy, socially acceptable route and now regret it?

I have a lot of respect for guys like Hank here, who know what they like and don't give a fuck what anyone else thinks. I am trying to be like Hank, but I admit, it's hard to shut out the rest of the world and its prejudices sometimes.

I'm not judging anyone here, I'm just really interested to know how you all feel about this.

[The_Void]

Well I don't know about anyone else, but I'm pansexual, so any kind of gender basically isn't an issue to me, I don't prefer t-girls to g-girls or men. The reason I haven't been out with a t-girl is simply a numbers thing - there are, percentage-wise, not many t-girls in the world, and an even smaller percentage of people are willing to go out with me, so it's no wonder I've never had a t-girlfriend.

[The Conquistador]

Originally Posted by The_Void

an even smaller percentage of people are willing to go out with me

I am also afflicted by the same malady.

[british_boy]

Being a pretty average bloke, I have the same problem too! BUT where there's a will there's a way... £400 can buy you a flight from the UK to Thailand where there are so many beautiful t-girls it's hard to take it all in. Better still, many are not hookers, but sweet girls looking for a nice western guy! Ditto the Philippines.

If you'd really like a t-girlfriend, go for it. I did, and it paid off.

[novicetgirllover]

I am the same as you I'm currently looking, and might have found someone. Shes currently in the Phillipines but I have no idea how to go about arranging for us to live together. I do not want to move to the Phillipines so i'd like to bring her back to the UK. Any help would be appreciated.

[Rachel]

[QUOTE=british_boy; I am trying to be like Hank,

Dont try that hard please

[british_boy]

Novice, I can answer your questions because I've been researching this very same thing. I've sent you a private message.

Rachel, you're so waspish! But you did make me laugh!

[jimkski]

In my case, I didn't discover T-girls or Shemales until after I was married, over 16 years ago, and part of me often wonders what life would have been like if I had, even though I really haven't been getting into this "lifestyle" and going on sites like this very heavily until recently. Now, as I see my marriage slowly (and quickly) coming to an end, for many reasons, not the least of which is my wife's unacknowledged and untreated depression, I do have to admit that I am intrigued by the possibilities. However, and call me a coward if you will, although I am still relatively young (41), I don't think I will be acting on my curiousity anytime soon, despite my pending bachelorhood. Why? Several reasons. First, basic geography...I live in central Wisconsin and have ties to this area that prevent my easy relocation to an area with better access to T-girls. I am too happy in my profession and ties in this area and have been through enough moves to want to move again and live anywhere else at this time. Second, basic society and family pressures in this area also prevent me from succumbing to my desire to investigate more fully this type of lifestyle...if the girl were easily passable and could live with my not revealing the truth to friends and family, then I would be open to such a relationship and commitment. Finally, and most importantly, I have very young school age twins who mean the absolute world to me and I would do ANYTHING for,and given their age and vulnerability, this is one impulse I cannot act on at this time. My pending divorce is going to screw them up more than enough (and for those of you who may wonder why I don't "tough it out" for the kids, I am an attorney with much experience dealing with couples, and most importantly children who go through divorce. I see my deteriorating relationship with my wife affecting my girls more and more each day and my wife refuses any type of in depth counseling, marital or otherwise. According to the counselor I did manage to get her to see for a few sessions, and who I've talked to one on one, my girls need a "safe haven" from dealing with my wife's constantly changing moods and behavior, and I need to provide that to them, which I can't easily do now. And, most selfishly, I know that at this point, I would be happier unmarried with kids, than married.)...sorry for the digression.

Anyway, with current societal attitudes, especially in this area of the country, I will not put my girls through dealing with dad and his "alternative" lifestyle, at least at this point in their lives. Maybe when they're older, (much older, probably) and things have settled down from the divorce and all that will bring, maybe I'll look into it, but for now, I just can't. And given how long I've been "dealing" with these impulses and not acting on them and no one is the wiser, I think I will be okay not doing so for the foreseeable future. My twins complete me in a way I didn't know I needed until they were born, and mean much more to me, at this point, than any other long term relationship, married or otherwise. So, I can and will be a bachelor to make sure they're happy.

Wow, that was certainly more than I expected to share tonight, but so be it. However, this was an interesting and unique thread and for some reason, I felt compelled to answer the question, and things just kind of snowballed.

Thanks to all for "listening" to my ramblings!

[PI_Monger]

Best of luck to you Jimski. I went through a similar situation a year ago in that my ex-wife had some medical issues that were affecting her personality and she simply refused to acknowledge she even had a problem. It was a rough period in my life so I can sympathize what you are going through. When the dust settles, you'll be much better off. Divorce sucks but sometimes it's inevitable especially when one half of the relationship is so destructive and unreasonable. I sincerely wish you the best of luck.

As for the point of this thread, I'm equally attracted to GG's and ladyboys. My dilemma is I'm not sure yet if I want children of my own. I suppose when I meet the right partner, whether she be a LB or GG, the decision will be made for me. ha ha. If my ultimate partner is a LB then I'll forgo children to be with her. But just like GG's, it's very difficult to find the right one.

[stargazer58]

The only thing that has stopped me is the simple fact that there aren't any really hot and beautiful lady boys around here in my neck of the woods!!.. An awful lot of really unpassable types.. Yeah.. i know I should look deeper than the cover of the book and all, but for me to really be happy, the lady boys I desire must be at last moderately passable!.. I realize that I am not folowing the thought in my signature but that is my choice at this point!!.. I do have a few friends that are TV , but just not passable!!.. I guess what I see in the Asian countries has my head screwed on wrong or something, but that is what i desire the most and it just isn't here where I live!!..

[JodieTs]

Originally Posted by stargazer58

The only thing that has stopped me is the simple fact that there aren't any really hot and beautiful lady boys around here in my neck of the woods!!.. An awful lot of really unpassable types..

How do you know?
You may pass a few ts's in everyday life & never know
Thats the whole point of living "stealth"

[JodieTs]

Originally Posted by british_boy

I'm not judging anyone here, I'm just really interested to know how you all feel about this.

I just asked my partner:
To have a ts partner,
assuming you can find one....
You need to be as barking mad as they are
[guess who's getting no sex tonight!]
If its more than a fling,
you do have a lot to put up with.
The problem is that you can only really understand them if you have some aspects of ts stuff in yourself
and thats the case, you prob don't want a ts partner
as being ts involves being totally self-centred.

The other thing is that ts's are by definition in a state of change
so the person you are with today
is not the person you will be with tomorrow.

Also a ts is more than a woman with a penis.
And if the penis is the big deal, then the admirer will be more than a little disappointed, when it goes.

Got me thinking.....self centred,,,me?!!!

[british_boy]

Originally Posted by JodieTs

I just asked my partner:
To have a ts partner,
assuming you can find one....
You need to be as barking mad as they are
[guess who's getting no sex tonight!]
If its more than a fling,
you do have a lot to put up with.
The problem is that you can only really understand them if you have some aspects of ts stuff in yourself
and thats the case, you prob don't want a ts partner
as being ts involves being totally self-centred.

The other thing is that ts's are by definition in a state of change
so the person you are with today
is not the person you will be with tomorrow.

Also a ts is more than a woman with a penis.
And if the penis is the big deal, then the admirer will be more than a little disappointed, when it goes.

Got me thinking.....self centred,,,me?!!!

I think your partner made some very insightful points there!

I think I've been very lucky with my partner in as much as she's generally a jolly and positive girl, and completely lacking in selfishness, mood swings and the other things that transitioning girls get accused of.

In fact, perhaps she's not a a TS in the fullest sense of the word, at least by western standards. Let me explain...

She's been living entirely as a girl for ten years now, is very girly, and is on hormones, but she's quite content with the stage of femininity she's reached and has been for some time. She likes her cock because it gives her pleasure, and she doesn't want surgery because she thinks it's too expensive, and it makes t-girls go crazy! (Her words, not mine!) The only thing she would quite like is a boob job to enhance her hormonal A cups, but it's a 'would like' more than a 'need'.

I wonder if it's a cultural thing. Being poor and Asian, her expectations of life are relatively low, and she doesn't have that sense of entitlement that we often have in the west. She's quite a practical person, and she's happy to make do with the level of change she's attained because she can pass in most situations, it's quite easy to maintain, not too expensive, and she can save up for the future, and help her family... whose love and acceptance is what gives her the most joy in life.

Most of all she's just happy that she's got a decent, suportive family, nice friends, and a nice guy (me). Perhaps the reason I fell for her is because she is so sunny, pleasant, thoughtful, and completely lacking in angst or 'poor me' syndrome.

[JodieTs]

Sweet.
The main thing is being happy inside.
I don't think SRS would make me any happier in myself
Though an orchi & FFS {shortly} will do.
And thats what this is all about...feeling complete.

Some things just feel wrong
though to everyone else its all fine.
My man is pretty cool on wherever I go.
He doesn't feel I need FFS at all
though he understands my drives & supports my choice on that.

[Bionca]

At first I was a little angry with what your fella said, but really to one extent or another it's pretty true. The "self-centered" bit is what got me the most, but that's really part of being strong enough to transition and finding the resources to do so. I could have lied to protect my family, my friend could continue to pretend to save her relationship, I could have donated the money I used for FFS to charity... however..

The thing is, we are called "selfish" lots by people who want to discourage us from transitioning (probably not your bf's case). So "selfish/self-centered" hits me wrong in this context. Since the flip-side of that is all the people who want us to NOT transition are pretty much acting on their own feelings of selfishness in wanting and expecting us to stay the way THEY are comfortable.

Nothing. I have been single again for a little over a year and am really just now getting my own life back together. The longest relationship I have had since my divorce was about three months. I date frequently--I simply haven't met that "special someone." Yet...

[JodieTs]

Originally Posted by Bionca

At first I was a little angry with what your fella said, but really to one extent or another it's pretty true. The "self-centered" bit is what got me the most, but that's really part of being strong enough to transition and finding the resources to do so. I could have lied to protect my family, my friend could continue to pretend to save her relationship, I could have donated the money I used for FFS to charity... however..

The thing is, we are called "selfish" lots by people who want to discourage us from transitioning (probably not your bf's case). So "selfish/self-centered" hits me wrong in this context. Since the flip-side of that is all the people who want us to NOT transition are pretty much acting on their own feelings of selfishness in wanting and expecting us to stay the way THEY are comfortable.

Well firstly J. is supportive on all the things & acts as a good sounding board.
J. doesn't want me to have FFS as he thinks I look beautiful as I am.
But as you know its not what others see, but ourselves.
I'm provisionally over to the usa next month for FFS with Dr Z in chicago
& while J. would rather i didn't, he has offered to come over to look after me post op.
One of my best friends who is also like us,
wrote to me about herself, and me
and talked about how alll ts's are selfish, and need to be like that in order to focus on surviving the hurdles.
While she is like that to a big degree & thats not being bitchy ....
I idolise her & have her on a pedestal She transitioned 2 years prior to me
I don't think I'm selfish or self centred at all.
But after I questioned J. on the above comment
he just nodded & smiled.

So I guess its a fair comment.
And yes I totally agree with your closing comment, the resistance I've met from friends & family at every point is just that, though fully understandable.

[kilgoretrout]

I have done it with 4 different shemales, one time with two.

But it is the risk of being found out that gets me most. I have a son that lives with me who would not understand. So I have to schedule adventures when he is out of town or something.

Also, the times I have done it were all pay times. I would rather find someone who I could maybe build a relationship with than a pro, but maybe that is a wrong assumption.

[ImAlittleCurious]

Wow! Some really great responds.

What would be stopping me?
The disappointment I would get from some family members. Especially from my father. And seeing how I already have a family of my own, however, some would react if I came out. Would say or think "I thought so."

I wouldn't just go for any T-Girl. She'll have to look like a, hope this doesn't upset some, like a full on woman. Gorgeous. Petite. I could go on..