need help

[defiance]

hello all
i am having trouble communicating with shemale women.. i have slept with a few already but getting them to meet up for coffee is priving to be hard..

i respect them highly and like to get to know someone before we either date or hit the sack
i m basically wondering if u guys have noticed that approaching a trans female is tricky, they usually act as if they dont care or arent interested. and the conversations are usually one sided. ie me trying to find topics for them to talk about. i dont have trouble with men or women when i meet stranger and spark up conversations but i m just finding that these ladies are acting hyper spoiled. granted probably there are alot of dudes trying to hit on them left right and center and i can understand that they are a bit turned off.. but i wasnt the one who contacted her thru the dating site she contacted me. some email exchages seemd like a good convo and then it moved to msn and stuff but damn i just need some advice from men women and even ts females.

i dont wanna appraoch them as if all i want is sex.. cause a relationship would be great

thank you for ur words and hopefuly this just turn into a flame war on me

- d

[pboy6969]

Your post touches on a couple different areas. It sounds like you are having a problem with a specific "shemale" at some point, but then your question is about "shemale women" in general.

In general, I think there are a few layers of guard to overcome when trying to engage with a transgender or tgirl.

First, I'm not sure where you live, but in most regional societies, tgirls are in a socially precarious and vulnerable group. The majority of society still can't warp their head around accepting transgendered people, tgirls, shemales, femboys, or any other type of lameo classification in this area.

Society unfortunately still has a long way to go towards accepting this group of people are people like any of the rest of us, but who have made a choice to change something in their life to better it. This lack of acceptance would of course make this group cautious about anybody outside of the people they know, of course. My guard would be up all the time if I was in that position.

Second, there is the flip-side. A smaller group of society who is obsessed with tgirls, for multiple superficial reasons (celebrities probably experience this as well). We all have our fetishes, and we all have tendencies to objectify people for whatever reason... That's normal for all people. However, of course it's really cause for a tgirl to also have her guard up and to be weary of tranny-chasers, people who want them as sexual objects and only sexual objects, or people just trying to live out a fantasy.

I bet many a tgirl could tell you a story about a guy who was interested, but it turned out he just wanted sex with her, or he wanted a "relationship" but wouldn't introduce her to his friends, family, or would go out in public with her. If I were a tgirl, I'd be very worried about each and every guy approaching me... Wondering, is this guy just here to live out a fantasy? Does he want me, or does he just think he wants me?

Outside of boundaries, there are other things to consider. Communicating with a tgirl is just like communicating with anybody else. Some tgirls are probably easy to talk to, and others not so easy to approach; no different than men, women, aliens, or cats. You may find that even if you get past all the perception hurdles, that you, the tgirl, or both of you just can't communicate or click; dealing with people sucks that way.

You mentioned that some tgirls seem spoiled. Is that just one tgirl, or many that you have encountered? Are the women in your area spoiled as well? It may be a fair observation that perhaps the tgirls you have encountered are expecting a lot due to men paying attention to them and their being in demand, however that might be true of genetic women in your area as well. In other words, it may have more to do with where you live vs. tgirls. I live in Silicon Valley, a big microchasm where people who are attractive tend to also be a bit too impressed with themselves and expect a lot, lol... It doesn't matter if they are men, women, or tgirls... If they are even reasonable looking, they generally are high-maint... Or maybe I'm just bitter because I'm a "regular" person

All I can say is that, if this tgirl approached you, but is not really engaging, just ask her if something is wrong and that she should be honest about what she is thinking. If you feel a tgirl (or any girl for that matter) is just being consistently spoiled and unreasonable about whatever it is... Run far, and run fast (though really think about whether she is being unreasonable or if it's just something you are inflexible about before running).

Perhaps there are some specific incidents you want to provide more detail on?

Sorry, I wrote this before going to bed, so if there are typos or if I'm not making sense hopefully I didn't totally munge my message.

i think people are people and everyone is different , i think perhaps ask where she most comorftable .......talk and see what happens , we are all different so no set rules apply , but speaking and asking is a start i guess, good luck

[JodieTs]

Treat us like any other woman.
And appreciate we have our bulolshit meter set to max
as so many men want a sex experiment rather than relationship or even a normal date.
The OP seems to appreciate this.

Think: go to mainstream places.
[That is exactly what my two long term boyfriends did,
oh & they date me for me, not for what is between my legs]