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  #1  
Old 10-16-2013
Dearka Dearka is offline
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Default Question for tladies

I will say this, I have never been with a tgirl. I have only ever been with biological females. That being said I recently came across a young woman who, had someone not told me, I would honestly never have guessed was transgender. In the span of a few hours I enjoyed just getting to know them and being able to talk was much easier. While I was only visiting the area (had to burn vacation days) and doubt I will ever see them again, it did make me wonder. I am not gay (not that there is anything wrong with that) and have always desired women but the comfort of the conversation made me realize that the ease with which you can talk and simply be is much more readily available with a tgirl than a biological female possibly due to understanding a male mentality to a point. Assuming the physical attraction is there , it is something I'd consider exploring more. But then I run across this.....

Many sites that discuss relationships with tgirls seem to present the notion that most tgirls want to be "taken" rather than give, yet when I see sites like this and many others, it always seems that the men prefer the tgirl to do the work so to speak. That being said, doesn't that ruin the concept of being a girl when you are the one using your penis for penetration?

I mean no disrespect to the guys here but it seems like most men who seek a tgirl tend to be more submissive and desire to be the "catcher" (sorry if that offends)and it almost seems like the concept of an LTR with one is virtually non existent as a result. As a guy myself, I doubt I could ever be on the receiving end as I am a guy and my personality has that dominant aspect and I'd want a girl who wants to be the girl.So my questions for the tladies is this, do you prefer a man to be the man or do you like to be the one giving? Do these views cause most tladies to simply forgo relationships altogether?
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  #2  
Old 10-18-2013
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Hmmm, interesting thoughts.

I have to say that from my perspective I love both, and I enjoy having sex with women just as much as men. I don't think one has to be the "Catcher" as you put it or the "Giver" why can't we be both. I mean maybe not every time but maybe sometimes dominant and some time submissve.

I love rough and sometimes it is nice to just lay back and take it if you know what I mean. But then other times it's all about me and I just want to fuck somebodies brains out. So to answer your question from my point of view it's not about a man being a man, what ever that means. Trans* folk are pretty much like anyone else we have desires and want to be loved but that doesn't mean we all want it the same way nor does that mean that we all want it at all. You have to remember that there are many people that just aren't interested in sex at all.
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  #3  
Old 10-18-2013
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Not being transgender I can only guess, but I would imagine that even if you perhaps don't have the type of genitals you'd prefer, to fully enjoy the pleasure of sex you've got to use what you've got.

I'm sure SMC will be along in a bit to tell you the 'correct' answer, and tell me I'm being ungendering or some crap lol
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Old 10-18-2013
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Dearka,
There are probably as many answers to your question as there are grains of sand at the bottom of the sea.


Big Boy; LOL We should have a chat over a cup of coffee some day.
Your "smc" comment seems very accurate.
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Old 10-18-2013
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bigboy4012 View Post
... I'm sure SMC will be along in a bit to tell you the 'correct' answer, and tell me I'm being ungendering or some crap lol
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Originally Posted by franalexes View Post
Dearka,
There are probably as many answers to your question as there are grains of sand at the bottom of the sea.


Big Boy; LOL We should have a chat over a cup of coffee some day.
Your "smc" comment seems very accurate.
Hey, actually, I agree completely with franalexes, but I'm glad to serve bigboy4012's instinctive need to get in a defensive cheap shot just in case. After all, when it comes to ungendering, he knows of what he speaks (even if it's not in this thread).
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Old 10-18-2013
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  #7  
Old 10-18-2013
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By using your physical, wouldn't that take away from the experience of be a woman though? I guess I am more accustomed to the more"traditional" gender rules regarding physicality.
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Old 10-18-2013
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Quote:
Originally Posted by smc View Post
Hey, actually, I agree completely with franalexes, but I'm glad to serve bigboy4012's instinctive need to get in a defensive cheap shot just in case. After all, when it comes to ungendering, he knows of what he speaks (even if it's not in this thread).
lol sorry, couldn't resist. And look, There was the message I knew you were going to come up with!
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Old 10-18-2013
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Dearka:
I haven't a fucking clue what you are talking about in your post #7.

not sure if you do either.
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Old 10-18-2013
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Sorry not the best typer on my phone. What I was asking is if the goal is to be a woman, then doesn't using your penis to be the giver take away from that goal as it seems most tgirls don't like their penis as it reminds them that they are not a biological female?? Also by being with a guy that prefers to receive, do transgender woman like guys to be more neutral rather than dominant?
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  #11  
Old 10-19-2013
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Again I am only guessing here, but I would say the aim is the be a woman and enjoy your sex life. if you happen to be a woman with a penis, then I don't see what would be wrong with using it for it's intended use. Using it doesn't mean you are not a woman, just a woman with a penis, so what?

Apologies for slightly hijacking the thread to have a go at SMC. :P
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Old 10-19-2013
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This has been addressed in other threads, but I don't mind answering it again. The answer ranges the full spectrum of sexuality and also depends a great degree on the dysphoria of the transgendered person in question.

1. You have some trans that don't mind using their penis, and a variety of trans are non-operative for any number of reasons and have no plans to ever get rid of their penis. I don't know what the stats are on operative versus non-operative transsexuals, but I think the porn industry leads many to the mistaken assumption that most trans are in this "woman with a penis camp."

2. You have trans for whom the "woman with a penis" meme will NEVER be reconciled in their own mind. As much as they feel to have been born in the wrong sex, so too do their wrong genitals remind them of this painful reality. Using their penis in the traditional, masculine way that men use their penises creates a disconnect for them that overrides any sexual pleasure.

3. You have people that fall between the two ends of the spectrum. They may be more comfortable with their penis than people in camp #2, but perhaps not as adventurous as some of the porn stars that you'd see in camp #1.

Personally, I find myself falling more toward camp #2. It's sort of complex, in that I have never necessarily identified with the "born in the wrong body" analogy that seems so popular in describing the trans community. I don't even know if it'd be fair to say I "dislike" my penis. But I HATE using it for anything that I perceive to be masculine sex. I have always abhorred traditional, heterosexual sex-- it just feels wrong thrusting my butt in and out, fucking like some manly animal. That type of sex always made me feel dirty (and not in a good way). So it doesn't matter if we're talking about a man or woman-- I do NOT want to be penetrator in the relationship. But I guess I'm a bit of an oddball too, because a "fulfilling sex life" is about the lowest priority I could imagine in a relationship. I really have so many sexual hangups, that for the most part sex seems like a lot more trouble to me than it's worth.
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Old 10-19-2013
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GRH, thanks for the thoughtful post. It just seems to me that most sites involving tgirls are more for purely sexualizing them rather than a meaningful relationship. If my encounter has taught me anything it is that I can have a much better connection while still having a physical attraction although...since I have never been with one sexually I do not know how I would react.
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Old 10-19-2013
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Your interaction is what the REAL trans community is all about. I don't mean to imply that the sex industry version of trans isn't "real," but it is a very small subset of the larger transgendered population. Of course a lot of transwomen end up working in porn to support themselves and/or pay for operations. But this small sub-segment of the populations has a disproportionate impact on how the trans community is viewed-- as you said, largely as sexualized entities.

In reality, many trans are not the sex objects that the porn industry would have you believe. For all you know, you may have met and interacted (and even been attracted to!) trans people before without even knowing they were trans.

It is sort of a catch-22 in my mind. If it is advertised to be about trans, you can almost guarantee that the emphasis is on sexualizing as opposed to relationship building. The expectation that goes along with any of the sexualized words like "shemales" or "chicks with dicks" is that you'll see transwomen engaged in sexual encounters. For many trans, they have NO interest in advertising the fact that they are transsexual. Thus if your goal is to "find a transsexual," you wouldn't necessarily know to check with these people. They just sort of blend into society (as best they can), and if they can get involved in a long term relationship (a difficult thing for many of them), their transexuality may very well be a deal-breaker.
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  #15  
Old 10-20-2013
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men do not understand women.
women do not understand men.
T-gurls don't understand them selves sometimes.
Why go there?


Thanks GRH. Right now I can't add anything meaningful to what you wrote.
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