I'm slightly worried about the emerging tone here

[moonwalkermoon]

Hm, this is an interesting thread actually.

Someone claims that some posters publish nasty comments and thus ruin the forum. But in the course of the resulting discussion they do exactly the same.

Why is that? I think it is because they lack a simple strategy.

It always takes two to quarrel.

The simple strategy is (as in real life), if you read something you don't like, just read on.

If you meet a person that says something you don't like, just move on.

No audience, no performance.

If someone says I am an asshole why should I feel compelled to reply that he is an even bigger asshole? Apart from giving me a split second of satisfaction it won't change anything. It certainly wouldn't make the other think about his behaviour. That could be better achieved by just walking away.

Just a thought.

[Mel Asher]

Why do we so often allow ourselves to get drawn into a firefight ? If a person has a genuine grievance, then let them address it direct to the originator, and not appeal to others in the Forum to support their sense of grievance by polarising and inflaming opinions quite regardless of the consequences to others. If the private correspondence does not reach an accord, or at least an agreement to differ without further public confrontation, then that is what a Moderator is for, to advise, and sometimes to warn. I have no sympathy with people in a Forum such as this who are quite deliberately insulting - it is counter-productive as it merely serves to provide further incendiary material for the participants, to the disservice of all.

Healthy debate is one thing, seeking ego-feeding confrontations, quite another.

Use humour wisely and we will all enjoy each other's company the more.

[darkstargemini]

> remember 1 thing respect and trust r earned u don,t buy it.....

[Amy]

I can't help but laugh at how easily a thread calling for calm and an end to internal bickering descends into it.

It's like a microcosm of the entire internet...

[McLuvinladyboys]

Originally Posted by randolph

Back off Hank. I suggest you read Melissa's life story on her website.
She is one tough lady. Granted, she is very feisty but that makes the thread more interesting. Also, I though a lot of members here like ass holes.

hey randolph. i want to address this post real quick and i hope that you understand i am not calling you out. its just that you said something here that need some further discussion.
(and kudos for coming to the defense of a lady, that is always a bonus)
i find that when i meet people that do really fucked up things, break the law, are abusive, are cruel,and you call them on it you hear "you dont know what i have been through" i hear it a lot, like a rough childhood is an excuse to be a bastard. it isnt. life sucks ass for everyone. its all the same shit storm and we have to weather it. now this obviously doenst apply to you, as you werent talking about yourself so no worries on that front.
i will go and read her blog/website in a second. but i can bet that she isnt the only person to have beaten up, raped, molested by family or pimped out by uncle. so if the majority of these people can have these really horrible things happen to them and move on, so can she.
the whole "i got beat up because i am gay thing" also has to stop. so what you got beat up because you are DIFFERENT. i got beat up because i wore glasses and liked D&D. shit i had to lick some kids shoes in high school, the BOTTOM in front of all sorts of people. i still have nightmares about it 17 years later. that shit strips your self esteem, but it doesnt give me an excuse to abuse others, to come into a forum like a human hurricane and spew my hate at everyone because i feel that life dealt me a bad hand.

its not an excuse for poor behavior. so i dont care where you have been, and what you have been through, what matters is what you are doing today, and what you will do with the time you have in the future. will you make everyone as miserable as you feel, or will you make life a better place by not being the kind of person that fucked you up in the first place


Again randolph, this isnt directed at you man, but mellissa, and any of the other haters who think they have the right to be assholes.