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  #1  
Old 01-18-2010
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johnmpilot1933 johnmpilot1933 is offline
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Default Discrete Toys?

Hey everybody, I have a question for ya!

I'm married and live in a way that makes it impossible to own any real toys. However, from time to time, when I'm home alone, I like to have a little bit of assplay.

So here is my question: what types of easily obtainable things do you guys use for assplay that can be stored without giving away the fact that they are used for assplay.

I've tried cucumbers warmed up under hot water...and that was ok.

Let me know if you have any ideas!!!!
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  #2  
Old 01-18-2010
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Default Ok hear me out...

Giant sharpies. Like the little ones, only bigger. They're shaped great, and just the right size.
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Old 01-18-2010
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Default Secret toys...

:-o
Ass play did you say? Well I NEVUH... .... at least not with you.... :-) Yet .

Mah gud nuss. I had no ideyah this wud be a "tell awl of mah secruts" kind uv uh chat ruum. Lean closuh and awl let y'all in on a few of my decade old collecshun of "inanimut luvahs..."
(Just practicing up for my weekend in Savannah and Jacksonville next week) :-o

I have cherished a number of shampoo bottles, but few are seamless Ah ayam veruh gud with a small slip ov emereh papuh).

Here in Kansas carrots can be gotten and both oriental and Mexican grocers in the "ovuhsighs fuhrm" (and she winked when she said that).

Hairbrush handles have been my "emergency friend" more than once. But the softer the rubber, the more of the tell tale aroma is conserved (and thayt ain't musk hunneh).

My grandmother had a penchant for collecting salt and pepper shakers and of course, most are not "entry friendly" if you take my meaning. But so much the better to camouflage a few moretall skinny conical variety, of which you can actually order to your own satisfaction from a ceramics hobby shop near you. Painted as lighthouses, silos, clowns... you think one up and TELL ME now.

Oh if only I could have one of you rock hard penis bearers at my beck and call like I do my toys.

I doo declayuh, I have gone on and guv away ulmost haylf ov mah secruts. Yore turn boyz, I am dying and sighing to heyah some mower uv yore own secrut littul luvvahs.
(Ok I promise to never do that again...but only if YOU folks post too...er without the amateur accents) :-)
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Old 01-19-2010
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The usual veggies and nobody mentioned an extra large saltwater fishing plug (with hooks removed, duh). Use an extra strong latex condom (Trojan Magnum etc) for insurance in case you need to recapture it having gone to deep,,. Seriously be extremely careful and use common sense. A disclaimer is needed here as I have never tried the the last one and I don't know if its a safe idea so please if there are any young impressionable people here this is not an endorsement just a thought. Probably very unsafe!
I just wish I could find a place to stash my toys as I keep having to purge my collection every time I move.
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  #5  
Old 01-19-2010
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Default Try Home Depot,,,

,,,or some such place Not joking,,,I've found many adaptable fun playthings there,,and best part be they way cheap,,,compared to porn site buys,,,lol
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  #6  
Old 01-19-2010
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Default Much better ,,,

thinking,,,, for sure 'real' beats any and every inanimate toy absolutely.....
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  #7  
Old 01-20-2010
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Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by johnmpilot1933 View Post
I'm married and live in a way that makes it impossible to own any real toys. However, from time to time, when I'm home alone, I like to have a little bit of assplay.
I've used the handle of a hairbrush. Of course, you'd have to find one that's a nice fit.
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Old 09-03-2011
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RobbyPants View Post
I've used the handle of a hairbrush. Of course, you'd have to find one that's a nice fit.

i use a handle from hair brush too!! feels so amazing
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  #9  
Old 09-12-2011
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Default discrete sex toys

I have used a plunger handle, rubber and plastic, not wood, and never used in the toilet either. Wash it down with rubbing alcohol, soap and water, and slid a condom onto that big boy. As said earlier, home improvent stores have aisles of phallic shaped objects, some frighteningly huge, that you can put in your workshop or garage and have fun with. Who notices another handle, or chair leg, or tool?
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