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  #101  
Old 04-15-2019
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I've expressed an interest in learning to play drums. But I had no idea it was so sexy...
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  #102  
Old 04-16-2019
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Last weekend we went to look at “Class A” RV’s. This summer my wife wants to drive around the United States and visit all my family which is largely scattered. We do not plan to stay with them or stay in hotels. Also we (I) decided that fucking around with a 30+ foot trailer was too much work and neither one of us has much experience. However, she said confidently that she once “pulled a U-Haul behind her car back in college.” God help us. Besides we’d still need something big enough so that means a Dodge Ram 3500, Silverado 3500, or Ford F-350 diesel “dually” with 5th wheel. Very expensive truck just by itself.

The issue is that basically a "Class A" is a “tour bus” and can run you $300,000 to $500,000 on up. So we thought a “used” one would be our best bet. And it just so happens I found the “perfect” one…

When I showed her and she saw who it was , she said “Sure, go ahead. You can park it at Wal-Mart. Maybe you’ll get lucky and she’ll come and visit you…” Anyway we are still looking. My experience driving is with cars and racing not “big rigs.” Although my dad did teach me to drive a semi (he had to learn as part of his job in sales and then showed me at a GM test track). That was hard. This has to be easier.

I was reading today about a retired couple who bought one and had “people crawling up their ass.” I don’t think that would be my problem. Quite the opposite. I’m sure I’d get pulled over for speeding. What I need is one to "practice" with. Get it to go over on two wheels taking a curve, throw it into a skid. You get the idea... I'm sure my "instincts" are totally wrong for this kind of vehicle. We used to travel to games in busses like this when I played football. Always down then center, always fast. People would honk and wave (or give us the “finger” and throw shit at us as we got close to the other university). Usually there was a police escort or security at the other stadium. No problem… Just wondering how fast one of these can go anyway?

(That’s the other two members of Paramore from a few years ago in the last picture. Jeremy Davis (bass) sitting at table, and Taylor York (guitars, keyboards, vocals) sitting with Hayley. )
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  #103  
Old 04-17-2019
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Never sure what to post on here… This relates to dating because??? Hayley, Miley, Taylor, Dove, my wife and myself are all millennial's? The "Gen Z" girl is cute? (Moderators: She's college age so she must be at least "18.") The “Younger Boomer” mom is hot?

Anyway, below is something we were instructed by my university to do with prospective students and their families. I’ve already discussed the “millennial” thing in an earlier post (Ronald McDonald’s Millennial Makeover) but I’m amazed at how the media and marketers constantly move everything around to suit their current whims. Especially when it comes to selling the latest crap to kids. “Hell, being a ‘millennial’ these days is cool let’s make them even younger… Those ‘old fuckers’ born before 1985 or 1987 don’t matter anymore—we’ve already taken their money. They have responsibilities now. Like families and jobs and houses. Shit they’re almost ready for retirement…”

But back to this exercise (Disclaimer: It wasn’t designed by me. Those aren’t even our students!) On the back are “characteristics” and “traits” that describe each generation. The prospective student and his/her family are supposed to select the description most closest to themselves. Hello? Admissions Department? I’ll make this easy. EVERYONE that is an incoming Freshman in 2019 was born in 2001 and is part of “Generation Z.” Simple. Got it?

The first time I tried this with a family the student picked the “Younger Boomer” (1964) card (because of the “strong work ethic” and “professional accomplishment.” Of course! Excellent choices! His dad turned out to be a “Gen X’er” which was accurate and he even admitted to going to see Nirvana back in the day. And even though I am actually a “millennial” in age, as are almost all my colleagues, I ended up choosing the “Gen Z” card because of “familiarity with and expectations for technology,” “social justice issues” and “meaningful career.” The student’s mom was the smartest of all of us and refused to play. Good for her.

I deal with this “millennial” stuff all the time in my “other career” (owner of a market research firm) this silly card game just served to illustrate how blurred the lines are and how meaningless much of this is. We ended up having a great conversation and I took them on a tour of campus which they loved. Our university has a lot of history in Indianapolis and much to show prospective students and their families. And we have THE best Starbucks around for miles. So despite the silly card game the story had a very good ending.
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  #104  
Old 04-17-2019
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What we are thinking of. It's built on a Freightliner chassis and is powered by an 8.9L Cummins Turbo Diesel. I've yet to actually drive one. There is a place on I-70 near Ohio that sells them. There are mirrors, cameras, and navigation. Don't think I'll have anyone crawling up my ass in this...

(Told my wife I was planning to remove the graphics and airbrush "Slayer" on the side of it. At first she didn't get it--of course she's not into that kind of music... )
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  #105  
Old 04-20-2019
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This is not Sissy Spacek, but while looking for things "Carrie" related after posting her to the Divas thread, I came across this Cosplay version. Think I've found my date for Halloween and it's still over six months away! "Future wife" maybe? Damn.
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  #106  
Old 04-27-2019
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"Can anyone in their right mind contemplate why a 25 year old, 40 kgs, spiritually simple Thai girl (left) would marry this hideous, ugly, fat, bloated, satanic looking, 108kgs overweight, 40 year old tattooed freak?"

No. But I was hoping 23 year old Dove Cameron would want to marry a guy in his 30's...

(Actually, I'm still wondering who my bloody cosplay "Carrie" is in the picture above. It looks like she might be from Russia (RusAnimeFest)? Have done a little research but so far nothing...)
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  #107  
Old 04-27-2019
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Hard work pays off. Found my "Carrie." Her name is Aleksandra and yes she lives in Russia. Extremely beautiful young woman as you can see. She’s been into Cosplay now for over ten years and from many of the pictures on her Instagram account and other sites, it appears she has worked as a model and actress. Even doing commercials. Could not find an “age” for her but in recent pictures she looks to be “over 18.” And that is a can of beer. All of the pics below are from 2018 or 2019. She appears to be a young teenager in her oldest pictures from around 2007-2009. You’ll just have to look her up…

“Future wife material”? Most definitely. Especially after seeing the last one. She posts mostly in Russian but then in English she said “McDonalds is shit.”

(Need to learn Russian. Our family is bilingual "English/Spanish" but my Russian ain't so hot. Used a translator. Hope I got it right... "Я влюбилась в тебя с первого взгляда")
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  #108  
Old 04-28-2019
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Mistress Stevie just posted some pictures of Sue Price to the "Muscular Women" thread. Sue was a professional bodybuilder. Then went into movies. I remember this from our first date...
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Old 04-28-2019
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Sue Price with rifle! That could be a good or bad dream depending on direction.
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  #110  
Old 04-30-2019
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Not really anything to do with my "dream girls" but yesterday, my students wanted me to ride my Harley to our final client presentation. Haven't had it out much this Spring. It's been in the 30's (F) in the mornings and rainy and doesn't look like it is going to get much warmer until later this week. Of course this is Indiana so severe weather is expected.

(If Aleksandra ever comes to visit me in the United States maybe we could go out on the bike with her dressed as "Carrie"? Why do I think she'd be into it? The JW Marriott is the place to go in Indy these days. Surpassing the "Eagles Nest." Anything would be fine with me...
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Old 05-04-2019
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This is that “Apple Engineer” fake ad for a women’s “hoodie.” She’s really cute. But I don’t think she works for Apple. I posted this before, but it got deleted. The caption says she’s “disrupting American manufacturing…”

Really? I think the only thing she’s likely to disrupt is my marriage. Just in case things don’t work out with her, the next ad implies I could meet my “future wife” in the breakfast cereal aisle at the local Wal-Mart. Yeah, sure, whatever.

But I’ll admit it, I’ve been known to fall hard for a woman in a “hoodie” before.
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  #112  
Old 05-05-2019
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#1 - Letting your wife find out about your crazy, younger, girlfriend maybe?
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Old 05-06-2019
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We never traveled in style like “Iron Maiden’s” 747, but our team used to fly charter most of the time. The buses I mentioned in an earlier post were used only for short trips. Most of the “Big 10” schools are located in the mid-west United States.

The first picture is a 757 carrying the football team. The second is a 737 carrying the men’s basketball team. That’s our airport. The university owned a 727 and 737 but they were used exclusively by the aviation technology program. The 727 had been donated in the 60’s or 70’s by United so students could work on it. I’d never get on it... It was destroyed in 2006.

“ATA” is who I have flown on the most of all the airlines. My "ex" (six years older and once a cheerleader for Indiana University our main rival) and I flew it all the time. I've probably flown on that 757 both as a player and as a married man on vacation... Based in Indy, they offered non-stop service to places like Miami and Las Vegas. They declared “Chapter 11” in 2008 and were bought by Southwest (I think). I graduated well before that so no, it was never a 737 “Max 8.”

(The last picture is the "old" logo used in the 2000's. Adding Penn State in the 90's made 11. But they didn't want to call it the "Big 11." See what they did? Now there are 14. Or 15. Or 16... Getting old, can't keep up.)
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  #114  
Old 05-07-2019
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She's cuter than what I remember. But John can have her...

(But wait, there's more... According to Wikipedia: Lorena told Oprah Winfrey in April 2009 that she had no interest in talking to John. Yet they appeared together on the show The Insider in May 2009. It was their first meeting since their divorce. On the show, he apologized to her for the way he treated her during their marriage, and he claimed that he still loved her because he continued to send her Valentine's Day cards and flowers. (Because nothing says "I Love You" like cutting off someone's cock. Was just wondering, is this what's known as a "dealbreaker." I guess they sewed it back on. If it had been me I would have told the ER doc "Hell that one ain't mine. Could have sworn mine was at least 12-13" long. )
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  #115  
Old 05-08-2019
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Zionsville? Well at least it's not me they're focusing on this time. This time they used a picture of my wife...

(Now if she doesn't kill me for posting this. )
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Old 05-09-2019
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This "ad" showed up on CNN today. The caption read "AARP Video Shows How Age Discrimination Works."

First of all, I'm concerned that things from "AARP" are showing up on my pages in the first place.

But the "arrows" really have me confused. The one that says "Over 40" is pointing to my "future wife" on the left and the one that says "Under 40" is aimed towards her mom or maybe grandmother?

(Or am I just senile and have misinterpreted it? )
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Old 05-09-2019
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On the other hand, who really thinks "40" is old? Maybe those idiots who create those "fake ads" that say "Born before 1985" or whatever (and then show a picture of an 80 year old)?

Tom Brady will be 42 this year and just won the fucking Super Bowl.

And here's someone else. This is Sofia Vergara . You most likely know her from "Modern Family." She was also on Univision. She was born July 10, 1972 which makes her 46. I think she's gorgeous.
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Another "fake ad" from CNN. The girl with freckles is cute. Hope she's "over 18." The "age thing" says she looks 25.

Don't care what the other signs are but I know what #1 is... "Coming home and finding another guy in bed with your wife or girlfriend."

(Did a search. The best Google could do was "Game of Thrones." Made me think. If my wife ever suspected I was seeing her she would pour molten gold on my head. )
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Kelly has been my dream girl longer than anyone.
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Today's best "fake ad" on CNN.

At least there hasn't been a "Born Before 1985" one implying I look like an 80 year old man in quite a while.

Tried "swiping right" on her but it didn't work.
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Well I couldn't help posting this one. "Future wife?" She is from yet another CNN "fake ad." Yeah, I guess when I think of California I think of cheerleaders. Especially from "UCLA."

You know if this keeps up I'm going to have a lot of "ex wives." That's a lot of alimony...
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Today's e-mail brought an appeal to join the Zionsville "Chamber of Commerce." Would have deleted it immediately except it featured a picture of yet another "future wife."

If she really is a member and I joined, it's almost guaranteed that there would be some kind of scandal.

(Yes, the original really was "rotated" like that.)
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Miley!

This was last year before she was married. We were on our way downtown to “The Eagles Nest” of course. She’s saying “Hurry up Andy! The fucking paparazzi are catching up to us…”
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Another one of those lying “fake ads” from CNN. “Buffy” (Sarah Michelle Gellar) is NOT 50. I should know anyway. She was one of my major celebrity crushes at the time (big surprise… ). Buffy ran from 1997-2003. Sarah was born in 1977 so she was 20 when the series started. Of course I watched all the “Scooby Doo” movies. Also “I Know What You Did Last Summer.” That was back when all my "girlfriends" were still older than me. Now, some of them weren't even born yet. Sydney?

(IKWYDLS also starred Jennifer Love Hewitt. We need to add these two to the “Divas” thread. Or maybe the “retro” thread... After all the 90’s were a long time ago. Jennifer currently stars in “911.” My wife watches it. I was watching it with her when suddenly JLH appeared on screen.. My wife said “I know you know who SHE is…” How could she tell? )
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The Indy 500 is today. ESPN featured this pic of me that my wife took earlier.

(By the way Kelly Clarkson is here. )
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Showed up in my CNN feed today. Have never seen Tangled but of course I'm familiar with the story of Rapunzel.

Before posting, I decided to do an “age check.” This is what the official synopsis had to say:

“…at the age of 18, Rapunzel becomes curious about the outside world…”

Despite what this says, I never thought Disney was intentionally dirty. The only incident I’m aware of was the “Penis Castle” cover for The Little Mermaid. There was enough controversy that Disney pulled it (“pulled” ) and re-issued the DVD with another cover. There’s lots on this out there. Is it? Or not? What do you think?

I might have to watch Tangled after all. Maybe they’re right. Bondage? Looks like fun.

Well that was definitely worth the climb. Disney must have cut this scene out of the final edit.
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Shit. I thought she was for sure my "future wife".

Instead it turned out to be "performance art." In other words--a fake. Such is my luck with on-line dating.



(Moderators: Amalia is 29. She was 25 when she posted these. Her book is a wonderful critique of "social media" and "selfie culture" with its increasing pressure on everyone to be a "celebrity." Especially young women.)
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Nothing to post anymore. The Internet hates me today.

This guy going to see his doctor is “40.”

Shit, I hate it when all my “ex’s” get together…

My wife said “I told you what would happen if you posted any more pictures of Hayley Williams.”
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CNN had a new "fake ad" for me today: "More pot investors join today’s new millionaires."

Wouldn't care, but a beautiful woman wearing denim shorts walking along the beach by herself is more than enough to get my attention.

So I had to do a Google search to see who my latest "future wife" was.

I found the original image but she's not identified and all it said was "photo shoot."

(Update: Persistence pays off. Tried again and struck gold. Still don't have a name but found several more pics of her. Nice... )
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The original “Rebelde” ran from 2004-2006. You can find it on Netflix. The setting was the “Elite Way School” in Mexico City. A fictitious high school. Good thing, ‘cause I’d get myself into trouble in no time. That should be me with Anahí on the bike. Nice bike by the way.

(Moderators: Both women were actually born in 1985 and 1983 and are at least 19 and 21 here. Why wasn’t my school in Michigan like this? )
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Tyra Scott "future wife"?

(She invited me over for dinner. But I don't see any food out... Wonder what she had in mind? )
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More “ED” fun! This is what they “advise against” doing in favor of whatever they’re selling. Bet that works though. Hell I’d get hard. Especially if Tyra (above) did that to me. Seriously though, I read a story once of a guy that shot cocaine into his dick. It got infected and had to be “surgically removed.”

He’s “35”? Whatever. I’ve seen him before in those fake “Born before 1985” mortgage ads. His name is “Brian Johnson.” Brian, you sly dog you.

And this couple was “Born before 1985” so they are my age? No, it's just me who's old. My wife was born in 1987. She’s still a fuckin’ kid…
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Siena College in New York announced they are discontinuing the women’s field hockey program.

I am a firm believer in Collegiate Sports having once played football at an NCAA “Division I” school. It builds character through competition, teaches teamwork and leadership, gives one a sense of accomplishment, and creates friendships for life.

It saddens me to see this. It doesn’t have to be this way. Wish there was something I could do about it. Maybe they just need a coach?

(Moderators: Since this is a college, not high-school, all players should be "at least 18." )
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Zionsville Attorneys? Today's "fake ad" from CNN. My attorney doesn't look like that. Maybe she can consult with me over dinner and drinks downtown?

(Thought she looked familiar. It's actually Stephanie March from "Law and Order: SVU." )
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“Eye Contact”? Where did they think I was looking? Based on my experience, this machine is a lot more fun with a partner. "...moaning as I pull her shorts down revealing her hardening cock."

(One article says this machine is one of four to avoid in the gym. No, it has a purpose. Just not the one the designers had in mind. Or maybe they did... )
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My new friend in the above post looks like she could use a “workout partner.”

It gets even better. They have these machines with adjustable backs that allow the user to lay down. Don’t tell me the designers didn’t know what they were doing… Why am I thinking this could be used in some kind of bondage game? It looks like a piece of dungeon equipment. Or do I just have a dirty mind? (probably, yes...) Of course you can also use it “backwards” as shown below. Incidentally the caption for this image was “Showing Porn Images for Adductor Exercise Machine.” Who would have thought?

Anyway today’s fake ads brought yet another of my “future wives” wearing a hoodie. Of course I’m a sucker for a woman in a hoodie as you can clearly see from the third picture.
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Fukkk Yesss!!!

(It says our friend above is "27." My wife will kill me when she sees how old it said I was. But who am I to challenge its accuracy? )

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This ad just showed up. She's telling me I can get a credit card with 0% interest until 2021. Hell I'll believe anything she says.

(The ad also said she lives in Zionsville. Funny I've never seen her around here before. )
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My finest work. Can't believe I actually wrote this...

Quote:
Originally Posted by a9127 View Post
At 81 I’m still in amazing shape. Retired from teaching, I still am active with my company. I workout 5x a week and take all kinds of vitamins and supplements. I can still bench press over 300 lbs. I own a Harley and ride it every day. I also take about 10 Viagra a day…

My girlfriend is 29. We met downtown where she works as a bartender at one of the gay clubs. She moved in with me not long after we met. Our sex life is awesome. Her cock is bigger than mine but it doesn’t matter. I love to have her sit on top of me while I suck her off. She likes wild and crazy sex including bondage. She says I know how to treat a woman better than anyone her own age.

For my 82nd birthday, she is going to buy me a new Harley and have her girlfriends over and let me fuck all of them. Whenever we go out, people say “Your Granddaughter is so beautiful.” We just laugh it off. Once she said to another couple “Thanks. He’s actually my boyfriend.” Shoulda seen the look on their faces.
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There has been a trend in the news recently regarding stories about men “marrying” rubber dolls, plastic women, and even anime characters. I’ve had a lot of fun with it in this thread. But I’ll admit, for someone who has no other options available I can see how it would be appealing. Some of the “RealDolls” I’ve seen are quite attractive and you can also get a transgender model with either a 7” or 9” penis.

Yes, in real life, I am happily married to a beautiful woman, open-minded and a music lover, five years younger than me, but out of curiosity I configured my “dream girl” several months ago. She is transgender. I called her “Michelle” since that was the “face” I started with. Final cost: almost $8,000 USD. You can see her here.

In a recent experiment on Tinder, a RealDoll named “Harmony” had a profile created for her and received over 90 “swipe rights” in a very short time. Contacting her matches later, the man who set up the experiment found that over 50% said they would sleep with her. Would you? Would I?

From the Daily Star:

Quote:
“I ran the experiment for two hours on a Friday night from 9-11pm on the lower east side of Manhattan.” Jimmy explained to Daily Star Online.

“I swiped right (on) every guy that came up. In the two hours, I ran the experiment Harmony racked up 92 matches.”

“The real experiment though was when I replied to everyone Harmony matched with one simple message: Would you have sex with a robot? Yes, No or Maybe.”

When the film director asked the question, he received a range of responses, with one guy saying: "You’re disgusting.”

And another person said: "F*** yes. You're the coolest individual I've ever matched here."

While a third wrote: "F*** yeah...

Talking about the amount of attention the sex robot received on Tinder, Matt said: “I was curious about how much response Harmony would get.”
(Thought of something interesting. Try configuring one for fun on their website. If you can afford it and it won't land you in "divorce court" go for it. I was amazed at how close to my "ideal woman" Michelle actually looked. At least superficially. It was scary... )
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