FPOV*** on Shemales and men that love them

[Imconfused]

When I first found out that my boyfriend was watching shemales I was a little upset. See I knew he was watching porn and like alot of woman at first felt a bit insecure, but that was because he was jerking off to porno more then he was having sex with me. I felt (at the time before I knew of the shemales) I can not compete with these beautiful woman he is jerking off to. When I found out he was jerking off to shemales, well I said some not so nice things and told him I thought I couldn't compete with the woman you were jerking off to now I know I can't compete because I don't have a dick. Then I asked him if he was bisexual or something. Plus a few other things...
His response was he bought the dvd for me. See what I had done after I found his dvd "she d!cks" Well I went online and bought a shemale dvd and a pretty regular dvd. He kept watching the shemale dvd. I got upset and I threw both the dvds away. Then he obviously went out and bought another dvd. So we had gotten into a big argument and I asked him if I could look in his truck. He wouldn't let me. Well the next night he said...Want to look in my truck..I knew he had moved or gotten rid of the dvd. So yeah I looked and there was nothing in there. But the next day I found "F***ed by a shemale" That's when I had said the not so nice things to him. He said he bought that dvd for me. Which I knew was a lie. I knew he was trying to hide the truth from me. So I went online and read a bunch of stuff on men who like shemales and such. I also read about why men watch porn.
Now that I have a better understanding, well I am more accepting. However, my boyfriend is still hiding his true feelings. Which I don't understand why. I have told him I am here if he needs to talk.
I know I probably should have gone about it a different way from the begining and he still probably fears that if he tells me the truth that I will up and leave him.
In many of our conversations I told him if he can't be honest with me. (cause he pretty much denies he likes shemales) and I found out later that he is lying to me and can't be open and honest with me..The shemale obsession won't be the reason I leave but I will leave cause he can not find it in himself to be open and honest with me. Right now that I know of he doesn't have any shemale porn or any porno for that fact.
But to sit there and blame me for the reason he bought it and blame me for us not having sex well....I had been through that in my first marriage and will not go through it again...
Not all woman are as open to the subject shemales and the men who love them. But I can tell you this...If my bf and I hadn't been together as long as we have and I didn't love him as much..Yeah I would have left..But that is apart of him and I accept that. Woman are more open and accepting to things more then men realize it. When we love someone so much...we accept things that when the love isn't as strong. I told my bf if I didn't accept that of you, why would I still want to marry you? Which is a whole other topic
But anyways ask away
BTW is there any more females here?