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#1
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Is there a bias against those still in the closet?
The last few months I've noticed something very interesting as I've tried to meet people online. All the time I see "No face pic, not interested" posted on people's profiles. Why such a bias?
Some of us don't have the luxury of outting ourselves right now. I do as much as I can with my Yahoo avatar and all, but I just can't risk taking pictures, especially of my face, at the moment. Given that so many others have been in this position as well, why is it so hard to understand? |
#2
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I think this has more to do with the dangers we all face rather than any bias, and its always nice to see who you're chatting to.Some times I dont add people on facebook if they havent got a photo, or if their photo is of a car, then they must be a transformer!!
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#3
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chat
Tabitha;
chat or pm any time you want to. |
#4
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Thanks, Fran! Will do |
#5
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I also definitely think it has to deal with backing who you say you are. If you say you are this person then you must have several pictures of yourself. Me personally I will gravitate towards a person who sends me face pictures than body pictures. The human face is a very personal feature of the body and IMO is more important than the genitalia of the person I am talking with.
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#6
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#7
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Why? Well its about commitment. Every single one of us does have the luxury of outting ourselves right now. We all face the same sacrifices & loss of "Male privilege" see: wiki male_privilege Julia Serano, a transsexual woman who's awesome book, Whipping Girl Transsexual Scapegoating of Femininity goes into this. An interview with julia Those who walk the walk {& usually sacrificed everything to do so} don't like being put in the same genra as part-timers, or weekend warriors. I personally see why that view prevails, Though its a bit "up your own arse" Let me elaborate: On another Trans forum, one of my best friends, Evil Helen {After a year calling her that, she now uses it as her handle!} quoted the number of members of the site: [URL="http://www.tvchix.com/forum/topic.php?tid=52951&page=1"] Quote:
...along with tasteful photos of my legs & some knickers lying on the ground...well artistic. I went into the chat room for girls only {remember this is a tg site, mainly for cd's / tv's} And they all shouted at me ....saying "no men!" All fucking barking. Am I the only sane one on the net? Quack! .... Last edited by JodieTs; 06-29-2010 at 10:57 AM. |
#8
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Totally rock n' roll You mean robots like this? |
#9
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you want to present as a man, get all the privilege that this brings society standing, 60% more pay than a M2F Transsexual gets {if they can even get a job} Acceptance, family, friends pension scheme. not undergo costly & painful surgurys, meds for life, And so on. My point is male privilage over status or lack of, that a Ts person has ...not comparison with a Day-1 female which is a totally different topic outside this post or indeed this site. Interesting you tube vid, though. |
#10
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Jodie, are you saying we all have to fit inside a predefined box of transsexuality, that it is impossible for someone to be happy dressing as a male and a female?
You are exactly the type of person I have a problem with. Just because I don't suffer through all of the hardships you do doesn't mean I should be outcast. I'm sorry I'm not as brave or willing to sacrifice half of my life for the other half. Silly me. |
#11
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And you can't judge a person by their Avatar alone. They could look really hot in the Avatar, but they could be a totally vapid individual or a total sleazeball. I get what you are saying, and I agree that there are cases of bias online. However, I think that the people that are more interested in getting to know the person outnumber the people that are only interested if "pictures are attached". Idiotic sites like "Hot or Not" are the exception. |
#12
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[the term, not the reality] as its spot on the money. Though a lot of the ts angst about society rejection I project in some posts is repeating what other ts's experience. I actually feel empowered, by being able to be myself, never been happier kept my parents My brother will never accept me as Misha, which does my girlfriends head in >>>on the basis of: "so when he looks at you, how can he see anything other than a beautiful woman?" which is actually good coz he only sees me as his sibling and my trans has not impacted that. He is as close to me as ever we still hang out go for Indians, chill with his family or just natter in his allotment. In other words, all good, Kept most of my pre trans friends...lost not through rejection but coz they couldn't handle it & made a ton of newer friends....some of who are so close, && as special as can be. No society rejection, positive in early transition days... ...to neutral now coz I appear to be just another Day-1 woman, rather than an ex-bloke ...all good then Still, a lot of trans talk about & undoubtedly experience a range of negativity from society in general & it seems a pity to let that pain go to waste... I probably don't come out too well in this post, but in my defence, Darth Vader had a better theme tune to Luke Skywalker. click here |
#13
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I answered your post If you want the same interactions with people that ts's who walk-the-walk have, then walk the walk. I had exactly the same choices that you have exactly the same. I chose what was best for me and live with the consequences I suggest you do as well. |
#14
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No photo = A lack of honesty/integrity
That is often peoples perceptions on forums/chat rooms. Not mine After all, I'm interacting with you {lucky you} from your myspace profile: Blurbs About me: I'm a married, bisexual, occasional crossdresser http://www.myspace.com/tabithavalentine How does your wife feel about you having sex with other men? She does know, yes? |
#15
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From his posts I do not think his wife knows.
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#16
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Smiles.
But on another point. It's good form on a trans-forum, to use the female pronoun, if the person represents themselves as female. In valentinetabitha's case, "her" |
#17
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Excellent point, Jodie: "good form" and a sign of respect, which we expect to be shown to all members on this site.
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#18
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Will take that advice into consideration for next time. Thanks Jodie.
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#19
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In fact a big reason why I asked my initial question is I found when I went to ask people who have been in my situation, and have since come out to their wives, for advice I found myself rejected or met with ignored friend requests. I can see why those that are fully out can see me as half-assing it, but at the same time every person's situation is different. In my case, I don't want to live my entire life as a woman, but others do. Dressing as a woman, and the desire to perform sexual acts in the, traditionally, woman's role is only one part of my life, and it isn't even the dominant part. I don't feel like I should be compartmentalized or ostracized for feeling that way. |
#20
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In a large part for concealing this from her as honesty is a large part of marriage. You are not alone on this as almost all tv's conceal this HUGE aspect about themselves. Thats why I have no wife / ex wife or children...I refused to meet society/family/partners expectations without full disclosure about me>>>>& how the hell do you disclose something about yourself that you don't really understand? Now wherever you stand on the tg spectrum (& that can be fluid) You will be like most people just trying to find the best way for you, to keep the world in balance. We are in very different places so I would not be able nor experienced in stuff like yours to offer any useful coping strategies which is what you seek. On the bi-tv/cd/wife thing....no answer for you on open forum as this is far too deep with too many ramifications for you But useful for you to chat with others who were in the same place as you. PM sent. Quote:
don't hang out on tranny boards & if they did: 1.they wouldn't be likely to out you, as it would out themselves 2.In a dress, wig, makeup they arn't gonna recognise you in the first place, Doh! If your wife checks your computer to see which sites you visit, she already know your interest in tv cd ts tranny porn, anyway. If you don't want to put up a pic, thats ok. And others reactions are for a myriad of reasons. The fact your question in these places is not fantasy/wank stuff should tell those people that your question is genuine. |
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