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Old 04-19-2009
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Default Secret Love for Trans*women

From the looks of this thread:

http://forum.transladyboy.com/showthread.php?t=95

Lots of you guys are either afraid or ashamed of your attraction. I guess I'm curious why you feel that way and what , if anything, do you think can be done about it? Or, do you think anything should be done about it - and you comfortable with the secrecy/ that's part of the attraction?
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Old 04-19-2009
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I am neither ashamed nor afraid of my attraction for transwomen. I would be proud to be seen with my transgirlfriend and I would gladly take her anywhere and everywhere with me.

If anybody asks me about transwomen then I will tell of my attraction for transwomen. I will not hide nor deny my feelings and attraction. Other people's opinions of me do not matter.
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Old 04-19-2009
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Default not me

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bionca View Post
Lots of you guys are either afraid or ashamed of your attraction. I guess I'm curious why you feel that way and what , if anything, do you think can be done about it? Or, do you think anything should be done about it - and you comfortable with the secrecy/ that's part of the attraction?
I am neither ashamed nor afraid. I embrace this attraction, and don't mind who knows about it. I don't hide it. But I don't advertise it generally, for no reason other than my belief that it's not particularly anyone else's business, unless it comes up as a matter of course.

And just to prove it, Bionca, I would glady stand next to you in a public square and say so.

However, I certainly recognize just how many people are afraid or ashamed. Society's mores certainly wreak havoc on our ability to live happy lives according to what we really like and want. And it is that phenomenon that, in part, spurs the other phenomenon of men who act on their attraction and then, out of fear or shame, do harm to the trans women with whom they have a relationship. This saddens me, but I see all over it the mark of a society that sees "immorality" in matters sexual rather than, say, in people being left to live in poverty and deprivation.
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Old 04-19-2009
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Hi Bionca, I think 4 some people hiding their sexual identity is a matter of survival. My former neighbor was an openly gay black man who everyday had eggs and rocks thrown at his house and car, and one time had his tires slashed. He would always joke about it "are they doing this because i'm gay or black? " The police would respond but nothing would ever be done "Just kids being kids " one cop said. WTF. James moved to Miami 5 months ago. The last thing he said was "be careful, & take care of yourself"
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Old 04-19-2009
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HI, I didn't engage in that thread, but here is a related answer: I have a great wife, but am working out feelings about all of this. I hope that things don't have to blow up. But also, want to face reality.

So what might be read as fear or shame could be a totally different thing...



Quote:
Originally Posted by Bionca View Post
From the looks of this thread:

http://forum.transladyboy.com/showthread.php?t=95

Lots of you guys are either afraid or ashamed of your attraction. I guess I'm curious why you feel that way and what , if anything, do you think can be done about it? Or, do you think anything should be done about it - and you comfortable with the secrecy/ that's part of the attraction?
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Old 04-20-2009
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Ila, smc and rockabilly - you guys are totally the guys I didn't intend this thread to be about.

Now I understand the desire for personal safety and how that plays out in dating a trans* woman. What I'm curious to know is how guys who responded in the other thread with answers more on the "very secret" end of the pole feel about the issue and how they handle it/ why they feel that way/ if it needs to change (in their perspective).

Lopey-

Having an existing relationship is a vastly different thing. One could draw paralells to men and women who come out a gay/lesbian later in life after marriage and families. Or trans* folks in the same position really. In that case I think the question is more "is this attraction worth the damage to my family, can I maintain both and still feel honest or at least mitigate any damage to any parties involved."
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Old 04-22-2009
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I Think Some Of The Problems Are The Stigma Attached,the Vast Majority Of People Are Intolerant Of What They Don't Understand And Affraid,unfortunatly To The Point Of Violence In A Lot Of Cases.
When I Was At School I Was Bullied A Lot,and Pretty Much All My Adult Life.i Would Try And Stand Up To These Nasty Pieces Of Garbage At School And Basically End Up Getting Humiliated,i Was Always On My Own,and My Socalled Friends Would Join In In A Way,just So That They Could Be In With The Cool Crowd.
I Also Suffered A Lot Of Abuse As Well,so The Thought Of Letting People Know About My Attraction To Transexuals Does Not Fill Me With Confidance.
I Would Love To Have A Trans Partner,tell The World "f*** Off,im Happy,get Urself A Life",but After Years Of People Sniping At Me,i'm Not Sure I Could Take The Abuse.call Me A Coward If You Want,i Proberbly Am,but Life Can Just Beat You Down
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Old 04-25-2009
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Default I have trouble with this!

I have trouble with this, I am not ashamed. I choose to keep this part of my life private. It's a for me thing only. I simply watch and wank. As of late I wank for my health. Plus its simply fun for me to indulge in these lovely ladies. It's been a while for me round here, how ya been Bionca. I might say your quite a looker.
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Old 04-25-2009
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bionca View Post
Now I understand the desire for personal safety and how that plays out in dating a trans* woman. What I'm curious to know is how guys who responded in the other thread with answers more on the "very secret" end of the pole feel about the issue and how they handle it/ why they feel that way/ if it needs to change (in their perspective).
I guess I feel like I am attracted to attractive people and that includes m2f/trans etc. (New, I don't know all the abbreviations people use. Sorry.) I would not lie if someone asked or hide my interest if it were there, but I'm not going to wear a t-shirt about it, either. I guess it is kind of like "white privilege", only in the context of sexuality. Maybe it is me being a chicken.
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Old 04-25-2009
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Default I dunno...

I don't think I would like my wife to find the material i have on my comp. If she did however I would never lie. I would explain things to her and leave the ball in her court. I am not ashamed. It is my "hobby", Not hers. I have no desire to explore a sexual relationship with any other lady, I'm married. If I was single, Well than all bets are off. I would love to have met a woman like Bionca when I was single. I met my wife instead. Love is one thing, Love for masturbation and Personal excitement are another. Beautiful woman excite me. enuff said.....
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Old 04-25-2009
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I'm not ashamed of my attraction to transwomen, I'm just affraid of how it might be handled amongst my family and friends. I mean, most of them accept homsexuality and transexuality, but others dont (for the most part, the older generations of my family). I dont know whether it would be accepted or not.

I am also a very shy perosn. I keep a lot of my thoughts and emotions to myself. When annoyed I certinately make my presence known, but otherwise not.
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Old 04-25-2009
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Default Right on

Good to hear buddy. I like your avatar. been said before im sure.
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Old 05-21-2009
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Default It is a secret

So far no one in my family know my attraction for T-girls because I don't know how they would reacted to the fact that I love girls with a pennies. There are the time that I wish that I could just say it out loud but... I don't think the would understand.
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  #14  
Old 05-21-2009
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I posted my reply just now in that thread, so no need to rehash it here. I'll just say that I hope someday to be in the "everybody knows" category. (You'll have to read my response in the other thread Bionca linked to in order to completely understand that...yes, I am hopeless, indeed!)
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Old 05-22-2009
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Nah, not afraid or ashamed... like smc, I'm just a very private person when it comes to certain things. I generally don't tell friends or family about the GG's I date or "hook-up" with, and the same goes for t-girls. But if asked a direct question about my love for t-girls, I'll give a direct answer.

Undoubtedly, lots of other people who find t-girls attractive ARE afraid and/or ashamed... justifiably so, in some cases. For example, I do sympathise somewhat with the 40-something year old man with a wife and kids, who suddenly discovers the beauty and joys of transsexual women, and pretty much HAS to keep it a secret, for fear of losing his prudish wife, and thereby breaking up his family. I think more common is the fear that liking t-girls makes you gay, and the response this would provoke in others.
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Old 05-22-2009
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bionca View Post
From the looks of this thread:

http://forum.transladyboy.com/showthread.php?t=95

Lots of you guys are either afraid or ashamed of your attraction. I guess I'm curious why you feel that way and what , if anything, do you think can be done about it? Or, do you think anything should be done about it - and you comfortable with the secrecy/ that's part of the attraction?
I think u should read other quotes on other threads to get your answer,they are there,said time and time again
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Old 05-22-2009
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I guess I to some degree can understand the mechanics of feeling ashamed by having a transsexual girlfriend, but that doesn't change the fact that feeling that way is still rude, idiotic, wimpy and completely unacceptable.

Take her hand and walk with immense pride!

I do! And if I can do that, any one can!

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