I need help

[arab_shemale]

hiii everyone!!
i am an arabic boy who just loves shemales!! i even want to become one! i cross dress a lot and i have a shemale gallery with a lot of vidoes and pictures! i searched over the internet for transformation sites and i found some actually. but they are not with much help! i still cant go down on my knees to suck a cock! i tried to eat cum but i only did it once or twice! i tried to fuck myself with a cucumber because i cant get a dildo over here! ( so i would like from EVERYONE to help me to become a shemale.. to help me to be a cock lover and to eat cum! you can either reply here or contact me directly on lara-88@windowslive.com ( this is my girlie email) pls try to help me ASAP! i reallyyy want to become a cock-loving, cum-eating shemale!!