Talking with sweet TS and need advice

[iluvyurwifey]

I'm chatting with a very pleasant sounding TS and needed some advice. She sounds absolutely marvelous and I wanted to form a discreet relationship with her. To begin, I'm married and only attracted to very feminine TS (I'm sure I'm the only one, right?). The lady is pretty well known in the area and doesn't want anyone to know who she's dating, so our situations work well together. I'm going to take a guess that many TS ladies don't want to be with a married man for a variety of reasons, so I consider myself lucky to have met her. What can I do to help start up a wonderful relationship with this lady?

Hopefully people will dispense with the infidelity morals and such and offer me some real advice, since her and I are both consenting adults.

[Enoch Root]

Originally Posted by iluvyurwifey

I'm chatting with a very pleasant sounding TS and needed some advice. She sounds absolutely marvelous and I wanted to form a discreet relationship with her. To begin, I'm married and only attracted to very feminine TS (I'm sure I'm the only one, right?). The lady is pretty well known in the area and doesn't want anyone to know who she's dating, so our situations work well together. I'm going to take a guess that many TS ladies don't want to be with a married man for a variety of reasons, so I consider myself lucky to have met her. What can I do to help start up a wonderful relationship with this lady?

Hopefully people will dispense with the infidelity morals and such and offer me some real advice, since her and I are both consenting adults.

And your wife is an adult as well. I'm certain she would not want you to go around behind her back and thus hurt her deeply.

Did it ever occur to you to discuss your sexual proclivities with your wife? Surely I am not the only person on this site who has no interest in monogamy yet is very much interested in honesty and communication and loyalty?

[iluvyurwifey]

Originally Posted by Enoch Root

And your wife is an adult as well. I'm certain she would not want you to go around behind her back and thus hurt her deeply.

Did it ever occur to you to discuss your sexual proclivities with your wife? Surely I am not the only person on this site who has no interest in monogamy yet is very much interested in honesty and communication and loyalty?

Interesting. Not only do the buttin-skis ignore the pleadings of an OP to spare him the morality lesson, but I noticed there wasn't one negative word said about the TS I'm talking to who knows exactly about my marital status. Only negative words about me. If the sites' T&C state that I am not allowed to post messages concerning infidelity, then I will take this post down and not speak of it again. Otherwise, I guess I'll just have to ignore the "holier than thou" crowd.

Thanks for your input. I'll take it into consideration.

[Enoch Root]

Originally Posted by iluvyurwifey

Interesting. Not only do the buttin-skis ignore the pleadings of an OP to spare him the morality lesson, but I noticed there wasn't one negative word said about the TS I'm talking to who knows exactly about my marital status. Only negative words about me. If the sites' T&C state that I am not allowed to post messages concerning infidelity, then I will take this post down and not speak of it again. Otherwise, I guess I'll just have to ignore the "holier than thou" crowd.

Thanks for your input. I'll take it into consideration.

Pleadings? To paraphrase the character Britta from "Community": it's so unfair how difficult it is for you to cheat.

Saying I am holier than thou is no argument against what I said. If you have indeed decided to ignore the feelings of your wife (that is to say, if she is unaware of what you are planning to do, to cheat on her rather than attempt to establish an honest and open relationship), if you have decided to throw morality to the wind then the problems lies with you not with me.

If on the other hand your wife is aware of your desire for this other woman then there is no problem. I did give you a basic piece of advise: talk to your wife. People have loosened up a bit about this stuff over the years and monogamy is no longer the monolith it once was (though it may be more accurate to say: the monolith it once pretended to be yet never was). You might even get her to participate in everything a non-monogamous relationship makes possible.

[ila]

The OP has stated his request that people keep their morality views out of the replies to his question. His request should be honoured. If anyone takes exception to the OP's morals then by all means express your opinions in a PM to him. Meanwhile restrict your answers to what the OP has asked.

[merelypink]

pay and escort... realationship are always messy atleast with a escort there almost no chance of blow back

[iluvyurwifey]

Originally Posted by merelypink

pay and escort... realationship are always messy atleast with a escort there almost no chance of blow back

Normally, I would agree. But, our goals both coincide. So long as neither of us develop feelings toward each other, all should go well.

Sigh...I guess it's just a matter of establishing chemistry. That kind of thing can't be forced.

[franalexes]

You want to go swimming but don't want to get wet.

You are after jewels instead of treasures.

[iluvyurwifey]

Maybe when the peanut gallery leaves the arena, someone can contribute something meaningful.

[ila]

Originally Posted by iluvyurwifey

Maybe when the peanut gallery leaves the arena, someone can contribute something meaningful.

I have requested that members leave their morality out of their replies. Their is no need for you to get snarky.

[iluvyurwifey]

Originally Posted by ila

I have requested that members leave their morality out of their replies. Their is no need for you to get snarky.

Understood. Thanks for doing that.

[JodieTs]

Originally Posted by iluvyurwifey

I'm chatting with a very pleasant sounding TS and needed some advice. She sounds absolutely marvelous and I wanted to form a discreet relationship with her. To begin, I'm married and only attracted to very feminine TS (I'm sure I'm the only one, right?). The lady is pretty well known in the area and doesn't want anyone to know who she's dating, so our situations work well together. I'm going to take a guess that many TS ladies don't want to be with a married man for a variety of reasons, so I consider myself lucky to have met her. What can I do to help start up a wonderful relationship with this lady?

As you are both all growd up
AND you both are aware of your marital status,
then treat her like any other female. We really are no different.
Consequently she may well brush you off as a person
looking for extra-marital kicks, with a slight twist.
Or, she may well like the idea of a no strings relationship with you.
It's really down to a few things:
Her feelings about dating a person already committed. {most of us hate that, TBH, as we feel we are being used for to spice up someone else's life. That goes for couples wanting a threesome with us}
Does she find you hot?
Whether is she in a relationship and is she monogamous or not.

Just be subtle and normal, read body language and be prepared to be hugely disappointed.
But, don't let that stop you seeing if it may work for both of you.

Don't worry about Enoch Root.
I've just fedexed over a Ts girlfriend to him.
I expect she will be there Wednesday.

[smc]

Originally Posted by iluvyurwifey

I'm chatting with a very pleasant sounding TS and needed some advice. She sounds absolutely marvelous and I wanted to form a discreet relationship with her. To begin, I'm married and only attracted to very feminine TS (I'm sure I'm the only one, right?). The lady is pretty well known in the area and doesn't want anyone to know who she's dating, so our situations work well together. I'm going to take a guess that many TS ladies don't want to be with a married man for a variety of reasons, so I consider myself lucky to have met her. What can I do to help start up a wonderful relationship with this lady?

Hopefully people will dispense with the infidelity morals and such and offer me some real advice, since her and I are both consenting adults.

Morality aside, as you requested and ila reinforced ... you did use the word "relationship," even "wonderful relationship." I think that unless you are really only talking about a sexual fling, you open yourself up to considerations that go beyond the simple "consenting adults" argument. It is that to which some have responded, in ways either analytic and judgmental or clever and judgmental. Perhaps you would like to restate the thesis with which you began the thread?

[randolph]

Originally Posted by franalexes

You want to go swimming but don't want to get wet.

You are after jewels instead of treasures.

Diving into unfamiliar waters?
Wear a wetsuit!
There may be more than pearls down there.

[Be_my_nude]

Bearing in mind what the Moderators have so strongly pointed out, you make it very hard for many of us to give an opinion. You seem to be asking for guidance, and the only way most people can effectively do this is to ' put themselves in the other person's shoes ', as it were.

So really, on this basis you would only get advice from other people who would be prepared to do the same, operating from a similar background.

My actual advice is therefore this. The media is full of stories about people who conduct illicit affairs. Seek out the success stories and use some of those ideas. You already seem to have a relationship of sorts with this girl. You need to discuss it with her and establish whether or not you both can keep that relationship sufficiently superficial to avoid deep feelings / commitment developing.

Whether the ' extra-marital ' affair is heterosexual or non-heterosexual is not an issue at this point, it seems to me.

Either way you will both have to thread your way very very carefully through the dangers.

Good luck to both of you, and take great care.

[smc]

Originally Posted by Be_my_nude

Bearing in mind what the Moderators have so strongly pointed out, you make it very hard for many of us to give an opinion. You seem to be asking for guidance, and the only way most people can effectively do this is to ' put themselves in the other person's shoes ', as it were.

So really, on this basis you would only get advice from other people who would be prepared to do the same, operating from a similar background.

My actual advice is therefore this. The media is full of stories about people who conduct illicit affairs. Seek out the success stories and use some of those ideas. You already seem to have a relationship of sorts with this girl. You need to discuss it with her and establish whether or not you both can keep that relationship sufficiently superficial to avoid deep feelings / commitment developing.

Whether the ' extra-marital ' affair is heterosexual or non-heterosexual is not an issue at this point, it seems to me.

Either way you will both have to thread your way very very carefully through the dangers.

Good luck to both of you, and take great care.

Thank you, Bella, for so effectively taking the point I made about "relationship" being operative here and expanding the argument so articulately.

[ROYGES]

Originally Posted by Enoch Root

Pleadings? To paraphrase the character Britta from "Community": it's so unfair how difficult it is for you to cheat.

Saying I am holier than thou is no argument against what I said. If you have indeed decided to ignore the feelings of your wife (that is to say, if she is unaware of what you are planning to do, to cheat on her rather than attempt to establish an honest and open relationship), if you have decided to throw morality to the wind then the problems lies with you not with me.

If on the other hand your wife is aware of your desire for this other woman then there is no problem. I did give you a basic piece of advise: talk to your wife. People have loosened up a bit about this stuff over the years and monogamy is no longer the monolith it once was (though it may be more accurate to say: the monolith it once pretended to be yet never was). You might even get her to participate in everything a non-monogamous relationship makes possible.

What is Morality?
Some people think it is Inmoral to have anal sex , Oral sex , sex before Marriage, gay sex , to be promiscuous ,taking those in consideration are you inmoral? , or is it inmoral to just do thinks you consider inmoral?

[franalexes]

Metaphorically I was trying to tell you that you are after the benefits of a relationship without knowing the pleasure of a full one.
It is not going to be easy to have repetitious meetings and not develop some nature of bonding to the other person. Your meetings and what you expect out of them are the "jewels". What you could end up having is the complete package; a loving relationship. That is the "treasure".
I probably have a more rewarding treasure in my relationships with Jody, Tom, Mel, Randolph, Ila, CuriousJim, Jodie, SSL, TracyCoxx, Jen and others yet to appear than you will get from your jewels.
I'm not putting you down. I'm telling you that the package you are playing with is more than the fancy wrapper. You may not be seeking love, but love may find you.

[ila]

^ Very well put, Fran. I now understand what you were trying to say with your first post.

[JodieTs]

Originally Posted by franalexes

Metaphorically I was trying to tell you that you are after the benefits of a relationship without knowing the pleasure of a full one.
It is not going to be easy to have repetitious meetings and not develop some nature of bonding to the other person. Your meetings and what you expect out of them are the "jewels". What you could end up having is the complete package; a loving relationship. That is the "treasure".
I probably have a more rewarding treasure in my relationships with Jody, Tom, Mel, Randolph, Ila, CuriousJim, Jodie, SSL, TracyCoxx, Jen and others yet to appear than you will get from your jewels.
I'm not putting you down. I'm telling you that the package you are playing with is more than the fancy wrapper. You may not be seeking love, but love may find you.

Wow!
That is so well put and beautiful.

[smc]

Originally Posted by franalexes

Metaphorically I was trying to tell you that you are after the benefits of a relationship without knowing the pleasure of a full one.
It is not going to be easy to have repetitious meetings and not develop some nature of bonding to the other person. Your meetings and what you expect out of them are the "jewels". What you could end up having is the complete package; a loving relationship. That is the "treasure".
I probably have a more rewarding treasure in my relationships with Jody, Tom, Mel, Randolph, Ila, CuriousJim, Jodie, SSL, TracyCoxx, Jen and others yet to appear than you will get from your jewels.
I'm not putting you down. I'm telling you that the package you are playing with is more than the fancy wrapper. You may not be seeking love, but love may find you.

This is so true. I have found at least one such treasured bond here, that I expect to last a lifetime ... no matter what else may happen. It has nothing to do with sex. And I wasn't even looking for it.

[Be_my_nude]

Originally Posted by smc

This is so true. I have found at least one such treasured bond here, that I expect to last a lifetime ... no matter what else may happen. It has nothing to do with sex. And I wasn't even looking for it.

Like many feelings that reach deep into our inner selves, such treasures are a surprise and revelation about ourselves as much as anything else.

So much of our lives are spent frenetically on self-serving activities aimed at own own satisfaction, whether in our jobs, bank balances, or sexual relationships, that hedonism and ambition can so easily obscure all else.

It seems you have found something ( or someone ) smc, that has given you something of great worth, and I'm glad for you.

Like Love, such things cannot be found by seeking. As you said, they strangely enough seem to find you !

Take care to cherish -