I Don't Think I even Introduced Myself Yet.

[JamieTS]

Sorry. My name is Jamie. I am a trans woman. I have a bob with shorter bangs and live more or less fulltime.

I am 48 and have been a sissy all of my life. Most people where I grew up thought I was gay but no. I was trans. I had to learn all this on my own. I visited so many libraries that my parents were sure that I would get straight A's. I started wearing panties as soon as I hit puberty and had to actually shoplift them. Not a good thing but a survival instinct. I washed them privately and always put clean underwear in with the wash my mom did.

When I was really young, I had to get a boy haircut and I cried and cursed and mouthed to my mom that I hated her. Those haircuts hurt worst than physical violence would have. I wanted the barrettes the ribbons, the pigtails and so on. When I started growing hair on my legs and underarms I secretly shaved it off. I hated the pubes too so got rid of that. I let them grow for a while but OMFG the sweat and stink after the day was too unbearable.

I used to run away during "haircut time" and my parents got so tired of trying to find me in the woods. Fuck it. I wanted long hair. It just felt right.

I actually had a stash of clothes and makeup that I buried and kept hidden when I hit puberty. When I was alone then I would dress up. Then when I learned guitar in the eighties to wear the nail polish, makeup and have the big girly hair.

No I am not gay. I am a bisexual trans woman. Most people confused me as being gay. Yeah right because one of the girls that confused me for being gay was more masculine than me. How's that for Irony? Most girls that I tried to hide it from laughed at me because of my size and not being able to keep it up. Guys seemed to like it more and not make so much fun but they would love me in private and deny me in public. Society sucked back then and still does.

I finally got to a point that I said "fuck it" and just started being me. I went to Korea for two years and Mama San saw the potential. She bought me clothing and paid for an apartment 200 miles from my station of duty. She put me in an exclusive Korean only Club so I did work as a blonde prostitute. Thank god that I was assigned to a place we didn't have to go to the field and shower together. Hairless legs and underarms. Boobs I could get away with for gynecomastia. Wigs suck but it helped a lot and most Koreans could care less. I made more money with Mama San than I did the Military over there. OMG lighter hair and green eyes drove the Koreans men nuts. Especially when I would sit on their laps and flirt. BTW it was a trans club so no surprises. American Military could not visit the club. It was off limits to them but not me.

When I came back home and got stationed at a US instillation then I had to explain about the blond wig, makeup and so on. I actually played in a tribute band outside the gate so... I needed them. Even though so many guys took me home because back then I wasn't old but cute. It seemed they could look over the little penis with the wig and makeup. the shaved legs and underarms were a medical condition due to hyperhidrosis.

Then I married a woman that lasted about 5 years until I couldn't take it anymore and told her that she actually married a woman. OMG shit hit the fan. Everything she fell in love with me was because I wasn't a normal guy and had way more femininity. I loved shopping with her and actually loved her but she couldn't handle being a lesbian even though I had a penis. Plus the sex was more oral than copulation because my junk don't work. She didn't mind but when I confessed she turned on me and I heard all the names.

So fuck it. I decided to be me. After the divorce then I could go back to guys instead or longing for penetration. I could go back to plucking my brows and start supplying my closet again with femme clothes and shoes.

Anyway. That is my story. It has been a long hard road but one well traveled by me at least.

I am Jamie and I am totally a transsexual.