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  #1  
Old 01-14-2018
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Default Waiting for my dream girl

This section never looked promising to me. I'm not sure adding "chat" to TLB would help any. The "chat" screen I remember looked like something from the early 90's. Some of the conversations were awkward. But in fairness I've never been a fan of "chatrooms" for many reasons. Maybe for others they are a great way to meet people? I've always wondered how many people ever actually found anyone for real on here? Did you actually meet somewhere and go on a "date"?

My wife has read some of the ads in this thread. Her comment was "They all are looking for somebody 'hot' but almost none of them share anything about themselves that would make them attractive to others... I wan't to know something interesting about that person... Why should I go out with you? And please don't show me a 'pic of your dick'."

To me the strengths of this site are the friendships, discussion, and sharing of interests (and sometimes very personal information) that we might not be able to do anywhere else. Certainly not publicly. The balance of discussion of issues and personal experiences with the "porn" aspects is something I've not seen elsewhere.

(Yes, I know that there are members who enjoy sharing pictures of their cock. And other's seeing them. I think on a site like this it's fine. My wife I'm sure was thinking more about unwanted "sexting." )

Last edited by a9127; 01-14-2018 at 05:17 PM.
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Old 01-27-2018
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What is amazing is that this pic has accumulated over 30 views. I had no idea I was so popular on here.

Anyway, my wife is a nurse and is of course familiar with these dolls. She says if I ever let another nurse do that to me "the man" really would be killed.
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Old 02-15-2018
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My wife said it would be OK to post a picture of when we first met.

(Her sister took this, I swear! )
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Old 04-12-2018
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Default Huffington Post Article on Dating

From January 2016...

https://www.huffingtonpost.com/quora...b_9081168.html
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  #5  
Old 06-09-2018
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Geeeze, I told CNN not to use my picture in those stupid "born before 1985" ads. Now Dove Cameron will never go out with me.
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Old 06-27-2018
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My updated profile pic. I'm sure when Hayley Williams sees this she will not be able to control herself.
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Old 06-27-2018
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Last night my wife and I went to watch “Deadpool 2.” ***Spoiler Alert*** Deadpool’s girlfriend is killed early in the movie and he tries to get to her on the other side. Eventually he makes it appearing as Ryan Reynolds and not the scarred “Deadpool.” They kiss and she tells him it’s not his time yet. So he returns.

My wife thought this was a touching ending. Especially after blowing shit up for two hours. She remarked that it would be awesome if, when we die, I would end up looking like Ryan Reynolds…

Of course I gave it five stars.
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Old 06-29-2018
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Since I did name this thread "Waiting for my dream girl" after all, I'll be serious for once.

Nicole Ferri.
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Old 07-15-2018
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Quote:
Originally Posted by a9127 View Post
Since I did name this thread "Waiting for my dream girl" after all, I'll be serious for once.

Nicole Ferri.

Wow. She's beautiful.
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Old 07-20-2018
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Quote:
Originally Posted by vivid View Post
Wow. She's beautiful.
Thanks. Nicole is beyond "totally gorgeous." I'll try to post more of her.

(Can't upload pics anymore. Says the're not valid or something. )

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Old 08-02-2018
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Well, I've been thinking about what to put into my "dating profile." Interests, education, color of hair and eyes, height, job, what I want in a partner, etc.

Screw all that. This alone ought to work... Best "profile" ever.
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Old 08-04-2018
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Found on CNN this morning. It must have something to do with that "born before 1985" thing. Now I know what someday I want to do with my life:

https://www.cnn.com/2018/08/02/healt...ntl/index.html

Wow. $9 USD per hour! I’ll try not to spend it all at once. Of course I’ll use the image below as my “profile pic.”
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Old 08-11-2018
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Default Millennial Makeover

Desperately in need of a new image if I’m ever going to get laid. Something that will make any woman instantly want to go to bed with me. Was searching the Internet for advice and found this.

https://www.eater.com/2014/4/24/6236...es-cargo-pants


First published in 2014, here’s an excerpt:

Quote:
…attempt to be "to be modern and relevant”… (Me: Yeah, for 1985 maybe.)

…includes yellow cargo pants and a vest "accompanied by a red-and-white striped rugby shirt." He will also be sporting a "whimsical new red blazer" and a special bowtie for special events…

…using the hashtag #RonaldMcDonald" the release quotes him as saying, "Selfies …here I come!"
Damn! What’s next? The cover of “GQ”? His own “Bachelor” reality show?

I can’t imagine the beautiful, successful, millennial woman who would not “swipe right” on this. If I had only known I would have worn this outfit to the Paramore concert last month. Hayley I’m sure would have invited me back to her dressing room. After seeing this, Dove Cameron walked off the set of “Descendants 3” and headed to Zionsville. Miley, just this week said she and Liam have “no plans to get married anytime soon.” My beautiful 6’4” volleyball player, Manon, jumped on a plane in Amsterdam and flew to Indianapolis. And Nicole Ferri asked me to come live with her in Argentina on a private beach where we can have sex every day for the rest of our lives.

(It’s gotta be the shoes. You know what they say about people with “big feet”? Disclaimer: I don’t ever go to McDonalds. Since reading this yesterday, I learned he “retired” in 2017. So I guess it didn't work. )
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Old 08-11-2018
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I may have judged Ronald's new "threads" prematurely. Now where can I get bright yellow cargo pants and a vest?

Just being one of the guys...

"But officer she looked 18."

(Yep. After the "evil clown" sightings in 2016, McDonald's scaled back his "brand representation." FYI both of my nieces think he's "creepy" with or without the makeover. )
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Old 08-15-2018
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Don't plan on stealing Ronald McDonalds "style" anytime soon. But this "clown thing" has possibilities.

(Why does Harley Quinn immediately come to mind? )
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Old 08-21-2018
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The first step in on-line dating they say is to write a good description of yourself. So here goes...

Actually, I was a poor student (had to repeat first grade twice) and then was cut from my 5th grade flag football team. Was born in 1949. Drive a beat up ’84 Buick. Still a virgin. Live in a rusted out trailer near Zionsville. 5’7” 300 pound “musclehead.” Smoke weed, do meth and coke regularly. Favorite album is Pat Boone “In a Metal Mood.” Favorite song is “Afternoon Delight.” Favorite movie is “Pee Wee’s Big Adventure.” Got fired from my job delivering for Pizza Hut. The only exercise I get is going out to my mailbox to collect my welfare check. Other than that I sit around all day jacking off to t-girl porn off my neighbor’s unsecured Wi-Fi connection. Into autoerotic asphyxiation and CBT. Once I tried picking up prostitutes down on Washington street but even they wouldn’t have anything to do with me. There was this one that was really hot but she turned out to be a cop.

Sound better?
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Old 08-22-2018
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Default Goodbye?

Quote:
Originally Posted by a9127 View Post
Since I did name this thread "Waiting for my dream girl" after all, I'll be serious for once.
There may be hope for this forum after all. I see that "Mrs. a9127" umm... I mean Nicole Ferri, has over 30 views in the above post alone. That's good.

Hayley has gotten more views than any other ciswoman I've posted. You ought to know that she is not only my Number 1 celebrity crush (is it that obvious? ) but she also supports LGBT rights and has been very outspoken on social issues. I also think she's one hell of a talented singer. Is incredibly beautiful, intelligent, very well spoken and doesn't put up with shit. I'm pissed that my last post of her got only one view. One fucking view! Seriously I can't say enough good about her. When I posted the video of "Airplanes" a few months ago, I remembered that one of the lines goes something like this: "What would you wish for if you had one chance?" The first thing that crossed my mind was "Yeah, but I don't know if Hayley would like living in Zionsville..."

A few people (eight as of when I'm writing this) have even viewed my post on Chloe Anderson, the volleyball player, in the "Transsexual News" thread and read the article. Her story is very inspiring. I'd think if you truly supported transwomen you would want to know more about her. And others like her. She's a real person. Beautiful, thoughtful, intelligent, courageous, and a great athlete. Personally I think she'd make an awesome girlfriend... Sigh...

I am serious about leaving TLB for good. But I'm not ready to just yet, maybe things will improve. The last few days I've felt like I'm completely wasting my time here. There are many other outlets and forums where my accomplishments, posts, and other contributions have been recognized. I'm active in lots of things around Indy including being an advisor to LGBT students. That means a lot to me. It's all in my WordPress profile. I get lots of views for my stories. That's really good. Yup, that's me. Maybe you think it's all bullshit. I've kind of suspected that was the case. Hate to break it to you but it's not.

It was nice of my friends Fran and Boner to ask me to stay (I would very much like to) but things didn't improve and my heart just isn't in it anymore.

(There was a moderator who once said that where I live "is the kind of place 'girls like that' are trying to get away from." Zionsville might not be much but here's some homes for sale, I live on W. Stonegate. We do have the only Bentley dealership around. Next to a Dairy Queen.)

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  #18  
Old 08-27-2018
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Quote:
Originally Posted by a9127 View Post
Since I did name this thread "Waiting for my dream girl" after all, I'll be serious for once.

Nicole Ferri.
Very nice picture. Much appreciated.
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Old 08-27-2018
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Very nice picture. Much appreciated.
Thanks. Glad you like Nicole. She's really beautiful. I will be posting more of her for sure!
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Old 08-30-2018
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For Gisker and others who like Nicole Ferri. We should start a thread devoted to her. Incredibly beautiful girl.
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Old 09-11-2018
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Quote:
Originally Posted by a9127 View Post
...I am serious about leaving TLB for good. But I'm not ready to just yet, maybe things will improve. The last few days I've felt like I'm completely wasting my time here. There are many other outlets and forums where my accomplishments, posts, and other contributions have been recognized. I'm active in lots of things around Indy including being an advisor to LGBT students. That means a lot to me. It's all in my WordPress profile. I get lots of views for my stories. That's really good. Yup, that's me. Maybe you think it's all bullshit. I've kind of suspected that was the case. Hate to break it to you but it's not.

It was nice of my friends Fran and Boner to ask me to stay (I would very much like to) but things didn't improve and my heart just isn't in it anymore. ...
Had a very nice PM exchange with ila over the weekend. Have decided to remain a member. So I guess you're just gonna have to put up with me.

I hope ila gets the respect and admiration he deserves. I personally think this place would have fallen apart years ago were it not for his wise and even handed moderation. His thoughtful posts (going back to 2008-09) are what made me join TLB in the first place many years ago. Maybe some of our members from back then will begin to participate once again.

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Old 09-18-2018
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From CNN:

Quote:
Middle-age drinkers are more concerned about their embarrassing or childish behavior resulting from drinking alcohol than about the health risks associated with it, a new study has found.

Researchers found that people ages 30 to 65 believe drinking is safe as long as they can still meet their responsibilities and their behavior remains socially acceptable.

The impact of alcohol on health was either "described as a minor concern or not considered at all" by middle-aged people included in the study, which analyzed drinkers in Britain, Australia, Japan and Norway.
The study by researchers at the University of Adelaide analyzed nine previous British studies and four from other countries to build an understanding of why middle-aged people consume alcohol.

It highlighted that middle-aged people drink mainly to relax, to reclaim or enforce their identities and due to gender norms.
Shit, the woman in the picture that accompanied the story looks like she’s maybe in her late 20’s. “Middle Age” is creeping up on her... No wonder she appears depressed.

Maybe she just needs a “drinking buddy.” Bet I could help her finish that. And another and another… Who knows where it might lead?

(So 30 is “middle age” now? 30? 30??? Someone turning “30” this year was born in 1988. That means Hayley will be “middle aged” soon, so will Taylor Swift, and Miley isn’t far behind. I guess I always have had a thing for “older women.” Especially those three. Who thinks this shit up anyway? Fake news for sure. Looking on the bright side, according to CNN's wide “age range” I’ll be “middle aged” for a long time. Hell, I’ll probably never get “old” according to this article. )
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Old 09-26-2018
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Well I better go out with Dove before she realizes "30" is now considered "middle aged."

Found another one of those "ads" on CNN. This one is telling me what I should drink when I'm "50." Shit, if what they say is true about "middle-age" (see above post) I'll be dead before I can try it.

(If I make it to "50" I'm sure as hell not drinking that crap. Maybe "Crown Royal" instead... )
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Old 10-15-2018
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If women don't go out with me now, I give up...
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Old 10-16-2018
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Quote:
Originally Posted by a9127 View Post
If women don't go out with me now, I give up...
Well I'll be fucked. That stupid pic has gotten 3 views already! My other posts don't even get that much attention... Well, the beauty in the cartoon below also got 3 views. Thank God somebody looked at her. So did my latest pics of Karen Gillan in the Divas thread (she's quite possibly the most beautiful woman that's ever lived) I'm still trying to figure that one out. She's got some real competition. Not gonna throw Hayley Williams, Miley, Dove Cameron, or Taylor Swift under the bus.

Also quite a few checked out my latest story "Augmented Reality" on WordPress. Thanks for the PM's. Glad some of you liked it.

(Maybe because he is so good looking... Must be good in bed. Looks like a fuckin' stud. Bet the Colts could use him. )
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Old 10-19-2018
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I promised everyone that before I left TLB for good, I'd post a pic of me and my wife.
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Old 10-25-2018
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Another one of those “Fake Ads” from CNN. This one’s called “Things Flight Attendants Notice About Passengers In 3 Seconds.”

I noticed several things too:

She’s really cute.

The way she’s looking at me as I get on the plane. I didn’t realize it was that obvious. Better cover it with my carry on baggage…

Her very short uniform and the way she’s sitting. Also the position of her right hand… Maybe she's been playing with her cock?

Why do I get the feeling we’re gonna end up joining the “mile high” club sometime during this flight?

(I hate flying. Maybe she was just trying to make me feel relaxed? It must have worked. About an hour into the flight she joined me in the rest room. I took her from behind while jacking her off. It was great. We thought we had gotten away with it until all the passengers applauded... )
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My wife said "You really liked Taylor and her baseball bat in that video didn't you???"
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Someone asked me about escorts. Around Indianapolis, if you can't meet someone online, the best place to go is down on Washington street. I always thought it was me they were attracted to. Now I know it's just my car...

(Shit. My wife must have taken this pic outside a "Motel 6." I'm screwed! )
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Nicole Ferri.
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From Esquire:

Quote:
This week in "Everything Is Dumb, Humanity Is Broken," a 69-year-old man is petitioning to legally have his age lowered to 49 because it fits his body better, claiming that age is fluid, like gender or my faith in humanity. The Dutch man, Emile Ratelband, was born in 1949 and works as a pensioner in his hometown of Arnhem.

The whole thing kicked off after Ratelband, who literally described himself as a "young god," felt he was being discriminated against on dating apps. Regarding the 20-year-shed reported in The Guardian, Ratelband goes on to say, "When I’m on Tinder and it says I’m 69, I don’t get an answer. When I’m 49, with the face I have, I will be in a luxurious position." Pretty presumptive to think that it's the 69 (nice) that's deterring potential partners and not, say, the penchant to call yourself a "young god."
Unfortunately, I believe Ratelband weakens his already shaky argument by comparing his proposed “age adjustment” to changing one’s gender legally. Not only is that offensive to many (to me it sure as hell is) but it’s the wrong comparison and shows his ignorance.

However he has given me a great idea! I’ve decided to petition a judge to make me “18” again. The same age as Hayley Williams in the picture I’ve posted below.

As for our misguided friend. I couldn’t help but run the “age test” on him. Check it out. A “young god” he is not. He might want to think about having more than 20 years deducted. Maybe see a plastic surgeon while he's at it? I have a feeling his reasons for not getting a “date” on Tinder are many… age is the least of his worries.
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Recently another one of those “fake ads” has been circulating. You know, the ones like the “Born Before 1985” ads featuring 80 year old men. They are commonly referred to as “clickbait.” This one instead features a gorgeous model wearing a red hoodie. The caption reads:

“An Apple Engineer Designed a Sweatshirt That’s Disrupting American Manufacturing.”

Below is a review of the ad featuring my “future wife.” My comments are in parentheses. As always they should be taken with a “grain of salt.” Fuck, just use the entire shaker!

“This ad is good.” (No Shit. )

“A photo of a realistic looking woman looking directly at you.” (Yeah, sure, I run into women who look just like her at least 1000 times a day or more… )

“Piggybacking on a brand like Apple and incorporating a power word like “Disrupting.” (Damn, I though SHE worked for Apple! Was planning to move to California. The thing she’s most likely to “disrupt” is my current marriage... )

“Once again, doesn’t get anymore basic and boring than American Manufacturing.” (Gee Thanks. Now I know what’s wrong with our economy. Never would have guessed... )

“And yet this ad manages to somehow leap off the page.” (Yeah, it does. My first thought was “Who IS she?” then “How can I ask her out?” Never really thought about the “hoodie” except that she looked cute in it. )

“Thanks in large part to emphasizing what’s interesting or unique.” (Hint: Definitely NOT the sweatshirt. Sorry... Now if you can just tell me her name.)
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As I said a couple posts above, the man who wants to have his age “lowered” legally so he is more appealing to women on Tinder seems to have larger problems. Sorry dude, “49” ain’t gonna be enough…

Chiefly, his arrogance regarding his looks and personality (“young god” and the “face I have”). Also what exactly does he DO? Does he have a job? Has he retired? Is he rich? What? Maybe he just needs a “sugar momma”?

It’s not unusual for there to be 20+ age differences with couples nowadays. There’s a lot of things that make a relationship work. But I don’t need to tell you that…

The president of France, Emmanuel Macron is 40. His wife Brigitte Macron is 25 years older. I think that’s awesome.

Many of the women we’ve posted to the Divas thread are older than most of us. Often by quite a bit. It got me thinking:

“Would I date or become involved with a woman say, almost twice my age or older?”

The answer of course, is “Yes.” Like anything it would have to depend on the person and circumstances. Here are a few I’d love to go out with…

(I posted this here rather than the Divas thread because it specifically addresses dating. Most of these women are already represented in the "Divas" or "Retro" threads. Several times...)
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The answer of course, is “Yes.” Like anything it would have to depend on the person and circumstances. Here are a few I’d love to go out with…

(I posted this here rather than the Divas thread because it specifically addresses dating. Most of these women are already represented in the "Divas" or "Retro" threads. Several times...)[/QUOTE]

I'm on the older end of that spectrum now....

But ever since I was a kid first getting turned on by beautiful ladies it was always more for older women. I wanted one to teach me
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Quote:
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But ever since I was a kid first getting turned on by beautiful ladies it was always more for older women. I wanted one to teach me
Yes that was and is a common fantasy. Nothing wrong with that!

What did you think about the guy who wanted to change his age from 69 to 49? I did some research and under certain circumstances it may be possible to legally change your age. In the United States it would be difficult.

Shit, his friends told him to do what everyone else on Tinder does... Lie!

(Was curious about my own picture from my WordPress site. Did the "age test" on it. It said "19." I'm actually in my 30's. I'll leave it as my "profile pic" on here for a while. Eventually I'll take it down. Who knows, maybe I'll get a date... )

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Default It’s Good To Have A Plan

We all do things to make us attractive to others. Some bodybuilders for example, inject oil into their muscles to make them appear "bigger." It doesn't necessarily make them "stronger." The risks are many including serious infection, amputation, and even death.

A popular "growth stimulant" among this group is Potenay B12. (Me: Jesus. Do you know what this is used for? See pic below. Some college and pro athletes have taken "Equipoise." No I have never done it.)

According to one of the bodybuilders interviewed, married men find that they get plenty of female attention, which is probably another reason why they’re reluctant to ditch their dangerous bulking regime. (Me: Fuck. It works. That’s why some people will do anything. )

Yet another said, “My wife doesn’t like it. However, I am happy with myself. She has to accept me like I am, or we will have to go our separate ways." "I usually tell my wife that she’s the only one who doesn’t like me. Other women love my size, they love it.” (Me: Wonder if they realize the "big arms" are fake?)

(Bet his wife would like it more if he injected it somewhere other than his arms)
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We were discussing older PC technology in another thread. Early computers often used "CGA" graphics that rendered everything in a Cyan, Magenta, White palette. It's really before my time but lasted through much of the 80's I have played many games based on this hideous color scheme.

This one is particularly funny because it's Harrison Ford as "Indiana Jones." Poor guy. Can't believe he gave his permission. I guess I could always use this screenshot as my profile pic on Tinder. How many guys wouldn't want to look like Harrison Ford? But I wonder how many women would "swipe right" on this picture?
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"...but it was so tiny!"
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I think my "future wife" likes me.

She was on my CNN page like five times tonight...

(Probably because I clicked on the ad a few days ago... )
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Default What Turns Women On When They’re Swiping On Tinder

From the New York Post, December 10, 2018:

Quote:
The bar is set pretty low for men on Tinder. A profile with just “three or four words” or a selfie with a cute puppy could be enough to grab a woman’s attention New York Post associate producer Stephanie told her platonic colleague, Alex, while swiping through the popular dating app. “We always melt for dogs and animals.”
(Guess that would explain our older friend's optimism from an earlier post. Shit, he doesn’t need to change his age… He just needs a dog! Or maybe describe himself with just three well chosen words: "Twelve. Inch. Cock." )
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Well, damn! That's the best pic of me I've seen yet... CNN had it on their site, I'm sure it broke the Internet...
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Christ, hope this beats the picture of the old man above. You really didn't think it was me, did you?

"Ultimate Dream Girl" aka "My Future Wife" Nicole Ferri.

(She lives in Argentina. It's summer down there now. Buenos Aires is currently 74 F and Sunny. )
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I thought you said you are 6' 4" tall and not 5' 4".

So how did the date go?
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Quote:
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I thought you said you are 6' 4" tall and not 5' 4".

So how did the date go?
Yes I am. I guess OK... Seriously I don't know who he is. Can't be me. He's too short and clearly much older than I am... And I did look it up, they are attending the premiere of "Cluless: The Musical" which she is starring in. The last time I heard of Dove dating anyone she was going out with Thomas Doherty who played the son of Captain Hook in Descendants 2. Shows what I know...

The big guy on the right of the picture I just posted is Dan Payne who's bio lists him as 6'4". He was in the first Descendants. You might notice a slight size difference between him and the rest of the cast. The woman with Dove is Kristin Chenoweth who plays her mom, Maleficent. She is currently performing with the Tabernacle Choir for a Christmas special.
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Speaking of "Dream Girls" I had posted this pic a few months ago in the Divas thread. I had no idea where it was taken. Super cute. Figured it couldn't be Tennessee since I didn't think it got as cold as Indiana. Turns out I was wrong. According to Reddit, they're at Sweet CeCe's in Franklin, Tennessee. Coulda sworn they were at Fundaes in Zionsville taking me out on a date.
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