Worst.Date.Ever.

[Bionca]

Last even I went out with a local guy I met on the Internet. I wasn't expecting anything, and wouldn't have mentioned this date except for how gloriously wrong it was.

Mind you, I was not expecting "Mr Right" or even "Mr Right Now". I just wanted to go out and meet a new person. If things "clicked" that would have been a bonus. Anyway... after a week of emails and the odd IM, we set up a meting for late afternoon. I was interviewing for a job and told him so, in case I was late. I was also going to be close to his place, so we decided to meet there.

I show up, a little early. Not only does he not look like how he described himself (not a big deal since It's the Internet, and a dating site.. folks fudge that stuff all the time) but he answers the door in grubby old sweat pants and a t-shirt. I figure he isn't ready yet, and I am a little early. I apologize for being early. He gets this HUGE grin as as looks me up and down and thanks me for stopping over. He's being a little nervous which I think is cute, so he's making up points for not being close to what I expected.

He invites me in and offers a seat and a drink. I decline both (safety you know) and ask if he had any thought on where we could eat, or maybe he wanted a casual coffee or something. He looked at me like I was speaking Klingon... "Oh, you'd like to go out??... sure we can do that. You look pretty good". I should have bolted at this point... he was surprised that I wanted to go in public... and THEN my looks were what made it OK to do so. I stayed..silly girl..

He grabbed his house keys and made for the door. In those sweat pants and the t-shirt... Here I am, dressed to impress.. and he wants to take me out looking like he just got home from the gym. I figure what the heck.. goodness knows I resent having to put in the effort to look stunning for guys, so maybe he's just telling me he isn't expecting me to always be dolled up - that would be cool.

We go down stairs and he takes me to his car. In a stupid lapse of thought I get in rather than take my car. We drive maybe 3 blocks to a McDonalds ... yes a freaking McDonalds. It isn't like there were no other places, there were some local restaurants as well as some nice affordable sit-down places. But here we were... I ordered some fries and a coke.

Conversation hit the two BIG points for lots of guys. He isn't gay, AND he was afraid that I wouldn't look good in person. Yes, the man who lied about his appearance and can't be bothered to put on proper pants was worried about how *I* looked. He noticed that I was only eating fries, and assumed it was on a diet. Oh.. did I mention that I had to pay for my own food.. I'm no princess, so I don't really care about paying my way on a date. I actually insist on it so the guy doesn't feel I'm obligated to sex him up later.

"Dinner" is finally over and have a headache from a room full of screaming kids. We go to his place and get out of the car. He invites me up..more like expects me to follow him up. When he notices that I'm not following he turns around and.... makes it very clear he is expecting sex "now that we have that stuff out of the way... we can get down to business". He is greeted with an arched eyebrow and a frown as I head to the car. He urges me to hurry because his GIRLFRIEND will be home in an hour and he wants to make sure we have enough time. He didn't mention a girlfriend before .. I ask about her. It seems that she is on her period and he wanted to get some sex, so called me.

And finally.. when I was clear I was getting into my car, not getting into his bed, and not at all pleased...he opened his wallet showing me a wad of cash. Pointed to the contents and then his crotch.

I have been on great dates with super guys, I've been on dates that just didn't go anywhere, I've been on dates where the guy insulted me or embarassed me.. I have never had such a completely bad date.. nothing was even "ok" .. stupid pathetic and I could have used that time to paint my toenails or something...

Just venting a bit and begging anyone who reads this.. don't be THAT guy.

[adamtash]

A very sad but if you will forgive me, funny story.Jerk's are jerk's the world over.I sincerely hope you have better luck next time.

Wow, that is just bad! Kinda speechless really! Dunno what to say!

[marlowe]

Yep, that sounds like a really lousy evening out.
Don't want to be a scare-monger, but if I were you I'd be wary of meeting a guy you don't know for the first time at his place. Isn't it better to meet on neutral ground? A) because it's safer, and B) because it's easier to bail out if it's a clear mismatch.

[cham]

Poor you.

And I agree with Marlowe.

Cham

[hankhavelock]

Yep, that sounds like one heck of a lousy date - what a jerk, dear!

I guess we've all had our share of bad dates, how ever what strikes me as the clue (if there is one) is this person's utter disrespect. Maybe he just happens to be a total ass hole, how ever, maybe he simply lacks respect for a transsexual woman. I read that between the lines. And that seems to be a thing in our world. "Oh, she's just a dumb transsexual - she's probably so sex-hungered that she'll say yes to any thing... I mean, she's probably a hooker anyways..."

No, she will not! And no, she's not!

So let this be a learning lesson for the guys... if you are not TRULY happy about going out with a transsexual woman, if you cannot find it in yourself to show her total respect, if you're not ready to treat her as you Princess, then you don't deserve her! Then it's better you go find yourself a lille cisgendered girl!

And Bionca, should you ever find your way past Jakarta, then be my guest :-) I promise you I don't wear sweat pants :-)

Peace!

H

[inadaze]

geez that sounds really bad. I would think someone as special as you wouldnt be single for long. In IM and the emails did he really come across as someone different ? Perhaps you didnt vett him for long enough ? And did you see his face on webcam beforehand ? Frankly Im surprised he has any kind of girlfriend. He was a disgusting slob and an asshole imo.

[Bionca]

I hadn't even prought up pic trades or webcam. I'm at my brother's place and currently without a cam, and I've noticed that guys tend to be stingy with their pics, but pretty demanding of pics of TGs. That and I'm really not so hung up on looks - I'll give any guy who seems nice a chance.

Anyway.. we had been chatting and emailing for a week, he seemed ok, and I was going to be literally blocks from his place. It was a spur of the moment decision to meet him and it was happening at like 4 pm, so I figured it would be safe.

Based on how he acted, and going back through the emails, I really think he assumed I was for hire. From what I hear it's not uncommon for guys to assume that "pretty" t-girls are trying to handle their bills. I've seen a few comments on dating sites from guys commenting that there are either "ugly Cross Dressers or beautiful whores".

Half the time I feel like I battling misconceptions and steriotypes more than I'm actually dating.

[marlowe]

Originally Posted by Bionca

I really think he assumed I was for hire.....
Half the time I feel like I battling misconceptions and steriotypes more than I'm actually dating.

When I read your original post that's what I thought, that from the beginning for him he'd figured you were pay4play! Having to go out for dinner (McDonald's.... Aaagh!!) was a drag for him but bearable as long as you were going to put out later.
Anyway, don't despair. There are guys not like that (as you must know). It's inevitable that most guys will have come into contact initially with transsexuality through porn and therefore have a limited view of it, ie. sex + money. The question is whether someone has a fascination and attraction beyond that narrow view.

[Bionca]

Originally Posted by hankhavelock

"Oh, she's just a dumb transsexual - she's probably so sex-hungered that she'll say yes to any thing... I mean, she's probably a hooker anyways..."
H

I have come across that attitude a few times online mostly. It's like the guys act like they are doing me (us) a favor by giving me (us) attention.

Generally I'll gently put the boys in their place and move on. Then I'll tell my girlfriends about him and soon enough he couldn't get laid by anyone but a professional (and she'd make him PAY for the honor of it).

[GRH]

It's a sad state of affairs that some men think transexuals are merely sex objects as opposed to real people who have real interests. I think that you Bionca, at least in regards to this website, are doing a lot to dispel that notion-- and I should hope that I am following your lead.

As you should no doubt know, I was disappointed to hear about your date but wish you good luck in future endeavors...So, the more pressing question from your date was not how your date went...But how did your job interview go???

[Bionca]

It really seems to be a hard idea for some guys to grasp. My transition wasn't so I could have sex with men. Cripes.. I was a hot little gay boy, if it was sex I could have just used my gay boi wiles to get laid any night of the week. It sure as heck wasn't to have sex with straight guys... PUHLESE..

Q What's the differance between a gay guy and a straight guy?
A A Six pack and an out of town girl-friend

So, yeah, doing this not so much for the sex. The sex and the relationships are good.. but not the primary reason. More like an irritating, yet fulfilling secondary.
....
Dang finding work stinks... I have interviews the nexy few days and it seems like there is lots of competition. Can't wait for THE conversation ...

[marlowe]

Originally Posted by Bionca

Can't wait for THE conversation ...

What's THE conversation?

[marlowe]

Oh... I think I may have just clocked what you mean.

[Bionca]

Haha the one that starts.. "It says here that you used to go by the name of..."

[TIMMYKAT]

Hey bionca Sorry to hear about your date with super toad! It sounds to me that he might work there at mc nasty's...nasty food,nasty personality..
i ordered fries there the other day and the guy at the counter asked me if i wanted fries with that...hmm go figure..good luck sweetheart!!!!
tim

[hankhavelock]

Originally Posted by Bionca

Cripes.. I was a hot little gay boy, if it was sex I could have just used my gay boi wiles to get laid any night of the week. It sure as heck wasn't to have sex with straight guys... PUHLESE..

This is an encouraging statement, Bionca. Quite often, I've met the attitude among primarily Western transsexuals, that they dislike guys who actually like transsexuals. A little bit like the good old Groucho Marx statement: "I'd never wanna belong to a club that would accept me as a member..."

Even here in Asia you do come across an "obsession" with socalled "straight guys" - a transsexual woman will say: "No way I'll ever do a little gayboy..." (not that I've ever met a gay who would be particularly interested in a trans-woman).

Obviously, it has to do with some sort of insecurity in her gender identification (or it could be so), that a "real man" who HATES trannies will prove to her that she's a "real woman".

Well, in the end it's all sorted out when we get a chance to get to know each other and our motivations... I have no clue about my motivations, but it always gets sorted out satisfactorily any how...



H

[Bionca]

This may sound weird.. but.. I'd totally love getting down with a gay guy. To borrow from my genetic girl sisters... "All the good ones are taken or gay". Gay guys DO tend to take better care of themselves.. and no gay guy I know would have met a date in scrubby sweat pants and a t-shirt... oh the humanity of it all.

On that note.. my phone has been ringing off the hook from loser-man. I've been busy, so haven't answered him. But.. It seems his gf is out of town this weekend and he'd like to "make it up to me". I'm tempted to accept just to see if he puts on proper pants this time and maybe gets carry-out or a pizza delivered .. schmuck.

[sesame]

Originally Posted by Bionca

And finally.. when I was clear I was getting into my car, not getting into his bed, and not at all pleased...he opened his wallet showing me a wad of cash. Pointed to the contents and then his crotch.

.. stupid pathetic and I could have used that time to paint my toenails or something...

Bionca's Fable... like Aesop's Fables!!
Thanks for sharing your sorrows & joys with us here. We always get to learn something from your accounts.

Dont be tempted to see that complete moron again.
... Dont waste your time, even if he puts on a $ 1000 tuxedo!

[GRH]

Originally Posted by Bionca

This may sound weird.. but.. I'd totally love getting down with a gay guy. To borrow from my genetic girl sisters... "All the good ones are taken or gay". Gay guys DO tend to take better care of themselves.. and no gay guy I know would have met a date in scrubby sweat pants and a t-shirt... oh the humanity of it all.

You are quite right, it's no wonder that GG's tend to make friends with gay men. In many ways they are superior to straight men.

that note.. my phone has been ringing off the hook from loser-man. I've been busy, so haven't answered him. But.. It seems his gf is out of town this weekend and he'd like to "make it up to me". I'm tempted to accept just to see if he puts on proper pants this time and maybe gets carry-out or a pizza delivered .. schmuck.

Don't even waste your time on some asshole like that.

[hankhavelock]

Originally Posted by Bionca

This may sound weird.. but.. I'd totally love getting down with a gay guy. To borrow from my genetic girl sisters... "All the good ones are taken or gay". Gay guys DO tend to take better care of themselves.. and no gay guy I know would have met a date in scrubby sweat pants and a t-shirt... oh the humanity of it all.

It makes a lot of sense.

Originally Posted by Bionca

On that note.. my phone has been ringing off the hook from loser-man. I've been busy, so haven't answered him. But.. It seems his gf is out of town this weekend and he'd like to "make it up to me". I'm tempted to accept just to see if he puts on proper pants this time and maybe gets carry-out or a pizza delivered .. schmuck.

Yes, hehe, that could be intereresting. Maybe we should make a little bet on it - how he treats you this second time. My bet is probably slightly better, but again, I wouldn't put my money on it :-)

[Bionca]

Well I answered his call, just to hear him grovel. I coyly asked him what his plans were ... *wipes eyes from laughter* ... ordering some Chinese take out, watching a "special movie on DVD" and seeing where that leads...

Oh what a turd

I sarcasticly told him he was the most romantic guy I knew.. he caught the sarcasm (points for him). Then he told me that "romance was for 'real girls'". Then he called me a bitch and dropped the "C" word (boggle). I laughed in his ear and told him I was too much woman for him. I fear I may have closed the door on another fantastic opportunity

[hankhavelock]

Originally Posted by Bionca

Well I answered his call, just to hear him grovel. I coyly asked him what his plans were ... *wipes eyes from laughter* ... ordering some Chinese take out, watching a "special movie on DVD" and seeing where that leads...

Oh what a turd

I sarcasticly told him he was the most romantic guy I knew.. he caught the sarcasm (points for him). Then he told me that "romance was for 'real girls'". Then he called me a bitch and dropped the "C" word (boggle). I laughed in his ear and told him I was too much woman for him. I fear I may have closed the door on another fantastic opportunity

OMG... what a complete jerk... I really can't believe he said that to you. Yes, you bet, you're too much woman for him. I hope you pissed him off real good - well, I sense you do have the verbal ability to do just that :-)

H

[sesame]

I think he is a peevish crackpot.
A frustrated angry man who lives on the edge.
Stay well away from his like.

[Bionca]

I have a feeling he understands that I won't be visiting him. I should totally take some cheesecake pics and email him.... mwahahahaha... real woman indeed

[sesame]

Then you will be called a cruel heartbreaker.
The guy can have a heart attack, for chrissake!
He may even commit suicide out of grief.
Have some sense of mercy, O evil empress!

[Bionca]

ok.. I was going to write something a little self-snarky.. but Sesame.. that was really sweet

[hankhavelock]

STOP IT STOP IT, you two, pleeease... you're cracking me up too much... my goodness, you both have a super way with words!

[BlueRaven88]

Originally Posted by Bionca

I have a feeling he understands that I won't be visiting him. I should totally take some cheesecake pics and email him.... mwahahahaha... real woman indeed

im sorry what are 'cheesecake pics'?

[sesame]

Cheesecake means:
A photograph of an attractive woman in minimal attire

Here it means Bionca in her unhindered heavenly grace...

[sesame]

I have a Tent!

[Show Me Love]

Originally Posted by Bionca

I should totally take some cheesecake pics and email him.... mwahahahaha... real woman indeed

do it to me. i can handle dat. you know.
luv u

[Bionca]

Oh I don't know... it takes a special man, or maybe a strong stomach to see pictures of me like that...

[hankhavelock]

Originally Posted by Bionca

Oh I don't know... it takes a special man, or maybe a strong stomach to see pictures of me like that...

Don't worry dear. You're among friends!

[sesame]

Bionca:

it takes a special man, or maybe a strong stomach to see pictures of me like that...

Go ahead, Bionca,
We are all special men here!

[Bionca]

Oh my....

You guys almost got me to put on my Wonder Woman undies and pose

[marlowe]

Originally Posted by Bionca

Oh my....

You guys almost got me to put on my Wonder Woman undies and pose

Skip the undies. :D

[Bionca]

Now a woman would be foolish to post her pics against the likes of Bianca, Sasha, Mint, Amy, Mandy ....

Or maybe.. I'll show mine if you guys show yours

[sesame]

I'll show mine if you guys show yours

Bravo!
Your tongue is like a blade!

[Bionca]

eep!! that could explain why I don't get asked out on date #2 (if I had sex on date #1)

[sesame]

Ah, no!
During a date you can also use your tongue like silk

[Bionca]

hmm.. tongue like silk... your wish is my command..

[marlowe]

Originally Posted by Bionca

I'll show mine if you guys show yours

OK.

Here's my cheesecake, don't put it all in your mouth at once!

Now, tit for tat, show me yours.....

[sesame]

Ok,
Fair enough,
Here you go:

[BlueRaven88]

Originally Posted by sesame

Ok,
Fair enough,
Here you go:

heh gave me a chuckle :P

[marlowe]

Originally Posted by sesame

Ok,
Fair enough,
Here you go:

Ok,
Impressive!
But can you get it up?

[sesame]

Ok, for the sake of variety,
here is a purring pussycat
Awww, come on Bionca, now its your turn;
Or do you intend to see the privates of the whole community?
current TLBF population being 8626.

[Bionca]

Hmm.. so naughty cake pics... *sigh* .. and only Marlowe posted some cheesecake. BTW, at the risk of supporting gender conformity, boys have Beefcake, girls have cheesecake.

[sesame]

Lemme see your cake!

[Bionca]

how's this?