anyone got an idea?

[Cadian122]

Ok, this is long and complicated but here goes:
I'm 22, (just turned) this happened about 6-3 months ago (so when I was 21).
I've been really crappy when it comes to relationships, longest has been about 4 months, but anyway. So I've taken it upon myself to join a Free dating site here in Oz, its 100% free and not too bad. I live in Adelaide in South Australia, and I got chatting to this Trans* lady from just north of Sydney in New South Wales on the east coast (Adelaide is on the bottom in the middle of Oz), anyway we got chatting, and soon got chatting on MSN, maybe about 2 weeks after I sent the contact request. She accepted the request and we got chatting on MSN, it wasn't too long after that that she started to suggest that I move over to Sydney to live with her straight away, I wasn't too freaked out, but I was disconcerted, so I said maybe I'll visit first, and then see, she loved that Idea, and was wanting me to go over straight away, but I haven't got too much money, I'm a Uni student with 8 hours a week at the local cinema, so after lots of weeks of saving, I managed to book a holiday. We'd been chatting on MSN almost every night, and I stayed up late to chat as she has an evening job. so anyway, we'd been chatting for about 2-3 months and she knew I was going over, and she didn't want me to book my hotel, and said that she'd be happy to have me, I said that I'd book all but the last night, just in case she didn't like me. I started in Melbourne so I could see my AFL team play a game. anyway I get to sydney in the afternoon on a wednesday, and all I have time to do before the shops shut was find the hotel, and buy my supplies, and plan the week. so I text her saying I'm in Sydney, and i'm free these times, can we meet up. I get a call from her, and she says she's feeling "really tired" and "will see" weather she'll come and see me. I suggest I go up to her place, but she say's she'd rather not, that was the Thursday. she say's she'll txt me on the friday, as I'd never been to Sydney before I'd booked the Bridge Climb, which cost me aus$200, so I get back and there's a text from her, saying that she was too tired to come and see me, and she'd speak to me tomorrow (sat), I don't hear anything from her all day, so my parents book me into a 5 star hotel for the last night, just to make the trip better, so I txt her telling her that, and there's no response, so I txt her asking if she doesn't want to see me, and that then there wasn't much point me going back to Sydney after that trip. anyway I get home on the monday, with the flu, and get placed in Quarantine by my doc (it wasn't swine thank god), so I check the dating site, facebook, and MSN and she has removed and blocked me on all 3.
that ended about 8-9 weeks ago, and it was my Birthday on the weekend just gone, and I remembered that she had said she'd love me to go and see her that weekend. There hasn't been a day where I wonder what the f*ck went wrong, so I sent her an e-mail apologising for anything I did wrong, and would still like to be friends with her.
can anyone tell me what i did wrong, and weather that e-mail was a bad move or not.

[franalexes]

Yes, I have an idea. I sent you a PM.

Fran

[Jenae LaTorque]

Another all talk and no show, huh? First off, I would suggest this person isn't too honest. She knew full well that you had went to a lot of effort to see her and then she backed out. Seems to me there is a possibility that she or he has been misrepresenting themselves all along. I'd say cut your losses and look for someone new.

[Cadian122]

I forgot to say that we had been chatting with webcams for about half the time so I do know that she was who she was, thanks, that's what most people I know here said.

[Talvenada]

Originally Posted by Cadian122

I forgot to say that we had been chatting with webcams for about half the time so I do know that she was who she was, thanks, that's what most people I know here said.

Good thing you got a room!

[DeaconBlues]

I have had similar experiences, not with any t-girls but with more than a few women. Some "women" (who do not deserve to be called women) get a kick out of teasing a man. They LIKE to make a man look like a fool, and most any man will do a lot of foolish things when some woman begins to manipulate him.

I am not sure if it will be any comfort, but I have wasted lots more money, effort and time on more than a few teaser-tramps, and I felt HORRIBLE afterwards. I wonder, seriously, do these teaser tramp women really know how much it HURTS a man to be "stood up" or left out standing in the rain somewhere?

Take heart Cadian, almost every man has had some similar experience, and many have wasted thousands of dollars on some teaser-tramp, and we all end up feeling absolutely terrible in the end.

This is the first time I have heard of a t-girl doing something like that though. I guess your t-girl had some issues, wondering if she was really like a g-girl, and she decided to take up one of the absolute worst feminine behaviours to see if she was "alluring" enough to be just like a teaser-tramp woman.

Personally, my "hat is off to you," because you are taking this a lot better than I ever would. I think I would post her name and telephone number, yahoo/msn i.d. and any other infor I had all over every raunchy men's restroom I could find. Maybe even make up some sort of bogus poster.... "WARNING!! - the below named individual is a con-artist, teaser-tramp..... avoid contact with her.... " Hell, I would probably be arrested for some sort of "defamation of character" but I tell you, it honestly HURTS me when someone teases my emotions like that. So, like I say, you seem to be taking this a LOT better than I would.

[johndowe]

Hi there.

About that, you think that's bad try this:

you date a girl for a few months, then you move in togather you have bills to pay, she has alot more bills to pay, you work like a dog, to pay all the bills, she spends more, you pay, then when all bills are paid, she sais that you take her for granted and she leaves you.

how's that for a BITCH!

JohnDowe.

[Cadian122]

hey guys, lets calm down here, I should also have mentioned I was already planning on a Holiday, it was origionally to Melbourne for 2 weeks, but for the last 5 days I went to Sydney, for 2 reasons, the main one was to meet her, and the second one was because I'd never been there, so I decided to kill 2 birds with one stone. I didn't create this to swap stories to compete about who was screwed around worse, just to see if there was anything I could have done differently in case (which I hope and 'pray') there's a next time. another thing that did sting, was the fact the Australian Rules Football team I'm a member and massive supporter of, (a Melbourne based team btw (I'm from Adelaide) if you don't know the geography look up google earth) had 2 games I planned to go to while I was on holiday, and the one I went to in Melbourne was horrible, they blew a 7-goal half time lead to draw, which was a real non event, and the one I missed while being stood up in sydney - they won. But anyway, please no negativity, and there is no way I'm going to defame her, or anything horrible, not much point either, because it won't send any kind of good message out, except for "don't date him, when you break up he'll be a vindictive bastard"

[hector.hector]

Originally Posted by johndowe

Hi there.

About that, you think that's bad try this:

you date a girl for a few months, then you move in togather you have bills to pay, she has alot more bills to pay, you work like a dog, to pay all the bills, she spends more, you pay, then when all bills are paid, she sais that you take her for granted and she leaves you.

how's that for a BITCH!

JohnDowe.

Hey jhonDowe, you seem pretty angry take it easy, we all've been tehre before and got used and taken advantage by our bitches girl friends don't beat up ur self

[johndowe]

Hi there.

Hey, i'm not mad, mostly disappointed.

It happened a long time ago, but i'm still a bit mad at myself for letting it happen, but still, i know that if you try to protect yourself from the bad things in life, you often miss out on the good ones in the process, so i let it slide, in the end, it was ONLY money, and i always had some reservations about her, guess they weren't unfounded, but it did hurt emotionally, could have been worse if i hadn't had those reservations.

JohnDowe.

[WudLuv2try]

Cadian : You handled a very tough situation very gentlely.

Not many would have been so mature about it.

[Cadian122]

well, last night, I discovered the e-mail worked! and she added me on MSN again, and accepted my Facebook request, so it still looks to me, that there will be some small issues that need ironing out, but we're talking again so that's a good start

[Mel Asher]

C'mon, Buddy. Chatting is one thing, needs are another, but moving in with someone - sounds like commitment. You're dealing with a nicely-entertaining long-distance tingle in which someone's feet get cooler and cooler the closer you get to reality.

Without wanting to sound too cynical, chum, it seems as if she didn't give herself enough time to ' tidy up ' before you arrived - that is if she really expected you to take her up on her invitation in the first place !

I would switch to a different ' shopping mall ' if I were you.

[Cadian122]

she wanted me to move in. I said I'd have a holiday first, then I went up on a holiday and she didn't want to see me. I sent the e-mail last sunday, and on thursday, she contacted me on msn, and we've had the occasional chat since then, it's kinda wierd atm though

[Cadian122]

and another problem is the majority of the Transgenderd ladies in Oz don't live in SA where I live, most are in Sydney. I'm 1/2 aussie, and 1/2 English, so I'm contemplating atm, after I finish Uni, maybe moving to the UK, so, it's kinda up atm