The Conquistador's Picture Of The Day

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Sorry, just one more... she was just too gorgeous not to post. Figured she had to be someone famous. Anyone know? I could find nothing. Most definitely my type.


(If you are wondering what this is all about, this post explains it all. )

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Unfortunately I can't fool my wife...

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Probably fitting for the ZR-1 but would Indiana even allow this?

(Recognize it? From the "Nutty Professor" (1996). This was on Eddie Murphy's Dodge Viper RT/10. Went to look it up. Cost back then was < $50,000 USD. They still draw attention today. Saw one about that age outside a restaurant last summer. Lots of people were standing around looking at it. Many of the women I like aren't even that old... )

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Shit. I never expected her to upload it.

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Today's good news from CNN.

(No cases reported so far in Indiana, but the university I teach at has already made "contingency" plans to shut down if it spreads. We will finish all classes "on line.")

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Sound advice courtesy of Pinterest.

This may come in handy one day.

Now I know what to do if Dove ties me up on our date and takes off...

Poor guy was just working on his computer.

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"Zionsville? My husband will never know..."

(It's about this. Knew I never shoulda posted that pic. )

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I'll put this here 'cause I don't want to post over Elsa.

Another "fake ad" from CNN. Who the fuck are they trying to kid? "Old"??? I think she's gorgeous and I like her hairstyle. Also the "age thing" says she looks "23." Makes me wonder if their "Coronavirus" reporting is any better.

Yeah, to them she's proabably a "Boomer" since that seems to be the current term for anyone "over 18" these days. Of course we know how screwed up they are (and incorrect) whenever they use the term "Millennial" (says me who actually IS a part of "Generation Y" and is in his 30's). Shit...

But their IS possibly a bright side to this. Dove Cameron is 24. So does that make her a "Boomer"? I've always had a thing for older women...

(We know this "age test" is reliable because it once said I looked "19." Damn! That thing is super-accurate. )

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This was in my e-mail this morning, from PCMag. The title was "Working From Home? Don't View Porn on Your Corporate VPN." Well duh...

Here's the link:

https://www.pcmag.com/opinions/worki...m_medium=title

All our classes have been moved on-line and any consulting work has died down considerably. Most work I have can be done through email. Besides I own the company. I've been using Cisco Webex and FaceTime to meet with students and clients.

But most of the time all I CAN do is look at porn.

Good advice nonetheless. I of course have many ways to get online that don't involve my University's VPN so I'm not worried. But I wonder how many people really know if they are using their company's VPN or not. And that they can see everything that you do.

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Haven’t had any fun with “Purdue Pete” in a long time. That is where I got my undergrad (Industrial Management) and played football (I have mixed feelings about my college “career”--it was good in some ways and bad in others…) in that respect I wish we had stayed in Michigan. Really, I was meant to be a "Spartan."

Of course all the schools in Indiana are either closed or holding classes on-line now. We (the university where I teach) are trying to decide whether or not to end the semester completely on April 6. I’m on our Academic Advisory Board. I voted to close. If it gets worse we will. And it will get worse…. In the United States, some schools have already called everything off.

But will “Pete” get Coronavirus?

This was on the door of the Purdue Student Health Center. Pete is screwed.

He’s looking sad. Maybe he already has Coronavirus? Actually, this is from a national ranking of university “sexual health.” Purdue came in 120th.

No wonder they struggle in athletics. This was identified as a “basketball” t-shirt on the website.

Roblox Pete? My nieces would know for sure. BTW they are out of school too. Doing “e-learning.” I am strict about them keeping up with their lessons. You know me as a “nice guy.” Right now they would say otherwise. We did watch “Descendants 3” together. Dove Cameron. My nieces think “Hades” (her dad) is a lot older than me. Good answer…

WE don’t ever make the news! Maybe because Purdue is huge?

Yes, I know this is about Ohio and not Indiana. Probably appeared in my search results because of Ohio State and the “Big-10.” Watched the video. She’s really cute. Her name is “Dr. Amy.” Too bad there’s a “travel ban.” “Dr. Andy” would love to have Dr. Amy explain “flattening the curve” to him anytime.

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They are postponing the "Indy 500" until August because of the virus outbreak. Probably 500,000 people coming together for a weekend is not a good idea right now. One of the "traditions" of Indianapolis has been the "Snake Pit."

Usually located in the "Turn 1" infield, it has always been rowdy and during the late 1970's became "drug infested" with many arrests. They did away with it for a while. Then brought back a "tamer" version with bands. I have never been to the "Snake Pit." Really!

Some would call this the best part of the race...

(Moderators: They enforce "drinking laws" in Indiana very strictly. Alcohol is sold at the track. The minimum age is "21." These pictures are from IndyStar, a legitimate news site. I would assume all the women are "over 21." The Motor Speedway could get in a lot of trouble otherwise.)

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My nieces told me that is in fact a "Lego Pete" (above). I wondered at first but have seen them playing "Roblox" with those figures...

Apparently, "Roblox" and "Lego" can be combined. Of course they can! Clever marketing for a 50 year old product.

The "Lego" I remember from the "80's" looked more like this... Showing my age. Never played with it much. Always was more into sports, computers, girls...

But this "Fall Guy" Lego set does not do Heather Thomas justice. I met the real Heather in the late 80's when I was 6. I've posted about meeting her elsewhere on TLB. She joins Hayley Williams and Taylor Swift as the most beautiful women I have ever seen in real life. They would have been babies then (so would my wife...). Taylor in fact may not have been born yet. Still have the autographed pic she gave me.

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Another “Fake News” story from CNN. Me and my wife. She’s thinking “I wouldn’t mind this quarantining for two weeks so much if Andy could get it up…”

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Looking for things to do during "quarantining."

From "WikiHow - 3 Ways to Improve Prostate Health"

Can do this. There's a craft brewery that delivers now...

McDonald's will bring it to your door...

And this is what they had to say about the last one...

Ejaculate often. Although for a long time, researchers believed that frequent ejaculation during sex, masturbation, or even a dream increased men's risk of developing prostate cancer, newer research is suggesting in fact, that frequent ejaculation may actually protect the prostate. Researchers suggest that ejaculation may help to flush out carcinogens in the prostate glands as well as help fluids in the prostate turn over more quickly to reduce cancer risk. In addition, regular ejaculation may also help to reduce psychological tension, which can slow the growth of cancer cells.

But you already knew that.

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This “fake ad” showed up on CNN this morning. They must have me pegged as a “Senior Citizen” because I’m “over 30.” Damn those “Boomers”! No wonder I get all these ads for the AARP.

On the other hand according to the original definition of “Millennial” aka "Generation Y" that’s the generation I actually belong to. But the media’s current definition of millennial seems to be anyone “under 18.” The rest of us are ready for the nursing home. And of course the media constantly blames “millennials” for everything bad these days.

Guess I’m screwed either way. But I had to share this “United States” Driver License (grammar anyone?). That’s the first time I’ve ever heard of a “United States” Driver’s License (here in the US they are issued by State… as far as I know. Maybe unless you are a member of the CIA or something?).

The best part is of course the picture. I guess that’s what someone “over 30” looks like—sort of like that man in the “Born Before 1985” ads I’m so fond of. Think I’ll start using it as my profile pic or avatar on this site. Wait ‘till Dove Cameron sees it.

(Then again, maybe it’s Santa Claus. “Sit on my lap baby and tell me what you want for Christmas…” Update: Thought I'd check mine to see what it actually says. Maybe I was wrong about the "grammar thing" above. It says "Indiana Operator License." Well I'll be damned. And my picture... OMG. "Santa Claus" below looks better. Shit. The good news is I'll never get a "DUI" because the cop will think that's the way I normally look.)

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The coronavirus does have us looking a little "sickly" lately but otherwise my girlfriend and I are doing OK.

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I began to suspect last night when she said "Andy, you are much smaller than your friend..."

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This was in my "inbox" this morning. Have been doing a lot of videoconferencing with students and clients. Always try to look my best even if I just got up.

Works for me...

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The latest "news" in my inbox this morning... Zoom has been used by many during this coronavirus time to hold conferences. It's quick and easy to set up for one. Some of my colleagues have used it. However, if you let anyone join your meeting, the results can become unpredictable. There have been cases of lectures being interrupted by porn on screen, racist messages, and other things.

But apparently, the latest thing is that you can become anybody on Zoom.

So, this is what I decided I will look like to my students and clients.

Of course my class looks like this...

(Moderators: They are all "college age" so >18.)

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It would probably be a good idea to take my shorts off first.

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Today's “ad” was “How To Look Sexy on Instagram” the picture below is what accompanied the ad.

I tried dressing like that for my profile picture but it didn’t work…

But they DID have a list of captions guaranteed to get you laid. (My advice: Use them at your own risk. Bet you’ll be spending the night with your hand… )

“Do you sit in a pile of sugar? cause you got a pretty sweet ass! (Me: Tried this one on my wife. Not only did I end up sleeping in the garage, she also ran over me with our truck… )

They say tongue is the strongest muscle of the body. Wanna fight?

Did you swallow magnets? cause you are attractive!

Kiss me if I’m wrong but Dinosaurs still exist? Right? (Me: Tried this out on Dove Cameron. She replied “You should know Andy, you’re old enough…” )

Nice t-shirt. Can I talk you out of it?

Do you have a name or can I call you Mine?

Do you like sleeping? Me too! We should do it together sometimes!

Can I borrow a kiss? I promise I’ll give it back.

Aside from being sexy, what do you do for a living? (Me: The “best” one. Though that’s probably debatable. May try this on Taylor Swift the next time she’s here. )

Do you live in a cornfield, coz I’m stalking you.

Never do the same mistake twice, unless he’s hot!

My mind is full of You!

Can I keep You?

Hey You! I love your face!

You don’t cross my mind. You live there!

As beautiful on the inside as I am on the outside.

Let me touch your shirt so I can tell you if it’s boyfriend material.

Besides chocolate, you’re my favorite.

Smile. It’s the second-best thing you can do with your lips.

In a room full of art, I would still stare at you. (Me: Jesus Fucking Christ! Please don't tell me you think this one would actually work? )

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My posts are not getting many views. So when all else fails…

The first three: “He lives in Zionsville???”

“We loved your on-line class Dr. Andy!!!"

“Oh Shit. He’s married…”

Yes. I know. But I can’t control who sees that pic…

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Fuck, he looks creepy. McDonalds had a campaign several years ago to attract younger consumers. It didn't work... One, they got "Millennials" confused with "Gen Z" as many do. Two, the campaign sucked. "Selfies, here I come." Three, in 2016 there were "evil clown sightings" worldwide and basically Ronald was toast.

But his "makeover" got me thinking... Maybe this is what I should wear for my date with Dove Cameron?

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As if the news wasn't bad enough...

Today, CNN reported coronavirus can exist in semen and may be passed on to your partner during sex. Here's what they had to say:

The new coronavirus can persist in men's semen even after they have begun to recover, a finding that raises the possibility the virus could be sexually transmitted, Chinese researchers said Thursday.

A team at Shangqiu Municipal Hospital tested 38 male patients treated there at the height of the pandemic in China, in January and February.
About 16% of them had evidence of the coronavirus in their semen, the team reported in the journal JAMA Network Open. About a quarter of them were in the acute stage of infection and nearly 9% of them were recovering, the team reported.

"We found that SARS-CoV-2 can be present in the semen of patients with COVID-19, and SARS-CoV-2 may still be detected in the semen of recovering patients," Diangeng Li of Chinese People's Liberation Army General Hospital in Beijing and colleagues wrote.

"Even if the virus cannot replicate in the male reproductive system, it may persist, possibly resulting from the privileged immunity of testes," the team added. Privileged immunity means the immune system cannot fully reach the region to attack viral invaders.

If this is true maybe I'll just have to cut them off...

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More news weirdness... Really, I have no idea how I could have made it all the way up to Connecticut overnight.

(Sorry couldn't resist. In the post above, I'm sure the one on the right is thinking "He lives in Zionsville?" Works every time... )

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Another "fake ad" from CNN. Why "Millennials"? Shouldn't complain though, at least it's not that "80 year old man" from those "Born before 1985" ads. Was getting tired of people mistaking me for him...

But look closely... Do I have too much time on my hands or do I just have a dirty mind?

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Even though Indiana has eased some of the coronavirus restrictions, my wife and I still always wear our masks when we go shopping…

(If you are wondering why her mouth isn't covered it's because of the "hotness" of the girl. I liked that picture. It is a shame to cover that face up at all. Me on the other hand...

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Today’s “fake ad” once again confuses anyone “over 18” with the Baby Boom generation (those born approximately 1946-1964). But what would you expect from “clickbait”?

Shit, she’s not a “Boomer.” Hell she’s probably still in her 20’s. And our kitchen looks sort of like that. Our home was built around 2004-2005.

Here is a real example of a kitchen from the late 60’s or early 70’s. It’s an ad for GE. But I know she’s not thinking about cooking dinner… “I can’t wait for Andy to get home from his job in ‘Data Processing’ all that Fortran programming must be frustrating… a night of wild sex would take care of that. Especially on our new waterbed. We could put on the Doors and drink a bottle of Boone’s Farm.”

Of course, I have nothing against “Boomers.” To me it looks like that period in our history was awesome. Christ, they went to the fucking moon! And developed early versions of the technology we use today. But I especially like the women. You’ll hear no complaints from me!

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Wish I’d added this to my previous post above: My “wife” from 1969 (center pic) continues “In fact Andy was telling me the other day his friends at UCLA and MIT were working on this far out idea to network computers around the world. Who would ever use something like that?”

(I told them it was an awesome idea but just to look out for Spam, Trolls, Haters, Pornography, “Fake News,” and Ransomware. They looked at me funny… See you later, got to go to another “WebEx” meeting. Maybe if I really could travel back in time I could stop this whole thing? Except in 1969, my wife would be the girl in the third picture above. )

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I've jump started cars before. But this?

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Another “clickbait” ad. But it got my attention. Shit! And I spent all weekend getting it ready for my date with Dove Cameron.

(Seriously, this might work on a date with Hayley Williams. I read somewhere that she’s a big fan of “Wayne’s World.” )

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Today would normally be “Race Day” in Indianapolis. Due to coronavirus, they have decided to move the “500” to August. NASCAR is still able to run however, albeit without spectators. The “Coca Cola 600” will be broadcast later tonight.

The following is part of Indy lore. The most famous pace car passenger in 1971 was US astronaut John Glenn. Poor guy, he survived space travel only to nearly be killed… I know a little about this incident but not a lot. This is what Wikipedia had to say:

As the field came down the main stretch for the start, Eldon Palmer (a local Dodge dealer) pulled into the pits and accelerated down the pit lane. Palmer continued to accelerate, under the impression he was required to cross the start/finish line in the pit area prior to the race cars doing so out on the track. His reference flag had been removed and he missed his planned braking spot. Moving upwards of perhaps 125 mph (over 200 km/h), Palmer realized he was going too fast, and rather than perilously veering back on to the racing surface, he stood on the brakes (the car was equipped with drum brakes) and lost control. The car swerved and skidded to the end of the pit lane and crashed into a photographers' stand. The stand toppled and collapsed, injuring 29 people, but no one was killed. Dr. Vicente Alvarez, a freelance photographer from Argentina, was one of two on the stand who were seriously injured. Alvarez survived, and died in the late 1990s. Tony Hulman suffered a sprained ankle, and a shaken Schenkel sat out the remainder of the ABC broadcast.

Palmer maintained possession of the car, and eventually it was repaired and restored. Indiana businessman Steven Cage purchased the vehicle in 2006, and it currently is displayed at his RPM Collection in Fishers, Indiana. Reactions of the accident were very critical afterwards, and for the next several years, the pace car drivers selected were either former Indy drivers or people with racing experience.

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Shit. More coronavirus fun!

These shoes were designed to practice "social distancing."

But I had a different interpretation. You know what they say about "big feet"?

Guess I just have a dirty mind...

(Just got done posting about my "date" with Charlie's Angels way back in 1976. But even that time would not be safe. Wasn't there an outbreak of something called "Legionnaires Disease" in the United States? )

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About time I posted a pic of my wife. It’s OK, she’s a nurse.

“But Andy, you said yourself how sexy Taylor Swift was wearing heels.”

Shit. Forgot I still had pictures of my “ex” on my computer.

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Something’s wrong here… “People born between 1941 and 1981” get… her? And I get… well shit.

But the best ad today was the last one. You know by now what she’s thinking: “He lives in Zionsville?”

(Yes. I still live in Zionsville. We recently switched ISP’s. Sometimes “Clayton” comes up now. Clayton is very far from here. Head West on US 40 towards Illinois. It’s a very tiny town. It’s where “Ray’s Trash” is located. )

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Today’s best “fake ad” from CNN was this. Donna Summer. “Bad Girls.” From 1978 I think (oops... 1979 I looked it up). The height of disco! The 70’s were almost as good as the 60’s for sexy women.

“Last Resort” by Papa Roach was the song of the summer I graduated from High School. Shit. That also seems like a long time ago… The height of “nu metal.” It all runs together now. No wonder everyone thinks “anyone born before 2001” is a “Boomer.”

But Iggy Pop is still going strong at 73. According to his website he will be touring next year. He was born in Muskegon Michigan. Never knew that.

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Today's reading.

https://www.space.com/43014-how-to-d...the-earth.html

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This was the major headline in Indianapolis today:

"Man charged after social media post shows him driving Lamborghini 213 mph on I-465"

https://www.wrtv.com/news/local-news...3-mph-on-i-465

Then again, maybe I was just late to class!

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This was in the news today for whatever reason. I guess everything is measured thesedays...

“According to the NFL Network, Trevor Lawrence (Clemson QB, likely to go #1 in the 2021 draft) came in at 6 feet 5 and 5/8 inches and 213 pounds. He also had a hand size of 10 inches, with his arm measured at 31 1/2 inches with a wingspan of 78 1/4 inches.”

Many years ago “Dr. Andy” played football in college. Don’t ever remember anyone measuring my hands however. Although I never played Quarterback. This made me curious how I’d “measure up.” So after stretching my right hand to it’s max, I faced the judgement of the tape: 9.5”.

Curious, I looked up other NFL Quarterbacks. Apparently this is a “thing.” Makes sense since the ability to grip the football affects throwing or catching. Here’s what I found:

“Average hand size for a quarterback is now 9.6 inches. Some of the top short quarterbacks (6-2 or shorter) of the past decade have ridiculously large hands — Drew Brees (10.25 inches), Russell Wilson (10.25 inches) and Brett Favre (10.38 inches). The average length of a male hand is 7.44 inches.”

Just how serious is this to the NFL? Read about it here:

https://www.chicagotribune.com/sport...228-story.html

“Dr. Andy” has met Drew Brees, Peyton Manning, and Andrew Luck. I guess I would say Peyton is definitely taller than me, Drew is shorter and Andrew Luck is similar in height. Shaking hands with them I would say their hands seemed at least as big as mine. Didn’t really think about it.

Tom Brady who is also just over 6’4” reportedly has only 9.38” hands. Poor guy. Bet he’ll never make it in the NFL. Besides he’s too old... And Patrick Mahomes hands come in at a relatively “small” 9.25”.

("Dr. Andy" could also not help noticing the "R squared" of .01 in the scatterplot below. So I guess it's what you do with what you have. Sound familiar? )

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When he first looked at the above graph, "Dr. Andy" was not paying attention. His mind most likely was on women... He didn't notice Mark Sanchez (NY Jets. Infamous for the "Butt Fumble.") Mark is what's known as an "outlier." If you take him out, you would most likely get some kind of positive relationship. Maybe when I have free time, I'll track down this data and run my own regression analysis on it.

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Today "Dr. Andy" disses Tiktok. Reddit picked up yesterday's blog posting. I've gotten more views in 24 hours than some of my posts from 10 years ago.

Thought some of you might like to read it. Although I've probably ruined my chances with any of the hot "influencers" or "thirst traps."

http://andrew-live.blogspot.com/2021...to-tiktok.html