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  #51  
Old 09-13-2008
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Originally Posted by Ogryn1313 View Post
"like they think their better than you."

Because they are better than us.

Cats toy with mice because it's instinct, that is how they learn to kill. Evil? no such thing as evil in animals. A dog will defend you because you're its meal ticket.

A cat however, doesn't have to rely on you as a dog would. They are smarter.
your kind of contradicting yourself there before you said dogs always come back no mater how much you abuse them, dogs are just loyal. and as for cats being better than us. Lol you obviously don't have a very high opinion of yourself
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  #52  
Old 09-13-2008
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I stand to be corrected, but i would think dogs a loyal mainly because they are extremely social animals. Well i would think they are, they run in packs. Yeah, i don't know what i'm talking about!

Anyway, i wouldnt take the conversation too serious;y, we're just messing around.
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  #53  
Old 09-13-2008
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As far as Australian men go, I really think our first love makes a life-long impression on us. I have to say I get a little weak when I see someone with dark hair and light eyes. Someone who is funny, cockey, and self-assured makes me swoon. That isn't to say I haven't met and been attracted to the exact opposite. But, the guys who match that first love get an automatic second look.

Dogs are pack animals, cats solitary hunters. Thus the behaviors. Dogs are loyal because you are in their pack and you out rank them. Their instinct for susvival tells them that they follow you. Cats don't need us as much as dogs, thus their independance.
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  #54  
Old 09-13-2008
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I don't really know what a date is like. Because I haven't really been on a date. I have only taken a girl out two or three times for movie and dinner. When it comes to fliritng, dating, etc, my experience is very limited. Some people go out on lots of dates a year. Not me. I've not even spoken to a woman in three years.

What happens with me is eventually I find a girl I like or she likes me. And we spend sometime talking and hanging out. Maybe one little date like I described. Then we become a couple. At this point there isn't any "dating." Oh we'll go out and do stuff together. But it isn't like dating since we are "together." And then it falls apart and I'm back to square one not knowing how to impress a woman, how a date ought to be, etc.

It's all one big frustrating and disappointing game.
You know, I think every transwoman I know would give their left tit for a relationship to happen like this. I don't think you guys know how tough it is to go out on something so simple as a date.
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  #55  
Old 09-14-2008
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You know, I think every transwoman I know would give their left tit for a relationship to happen like this. I don't think you guys know how tough it is to go out on something so simple as a date.
Hmmm... point taken. I just wish it weren't so for you. Apparently the differences between Asia and the West regarding transsexuality comes out in favour of Asia then - in spite of socalled democracy in the good ol' West.
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  #56  
Old 09-14-2008
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Heh, silly westerners.. Hey wait, i'm a westerner! Heh, don't even start me on our pseudo democracy that we're all so proud of. What is that Marry Poppins song? The one with the lyrics: A spoon full of sugar helps the medicine go down. Anyway, we're given just enough freedom (sugar) to makes us believe we're free so the working class doesn't challenge the inequity and insanity of this fanatical version of capitalism we've all bought into. What better way to control people to have them believe that they're free? Insidiously brilliant really.

Oh wait, this is about Bionca not my gripe with neoliberalism.. I can't imagine how awful dating must be for you. Even things I would take for granted like safety. That being said, it is not easy dating Australian women. Their dating shopping lists generally are so big they come in 3 volumes sets, and that is just the prerequisites, not the "would be nice" wish list.. Then all the pressure is on you to be funny, interesting and entertaining. No pressure! The fact I've only ever been on 1 second date says a lot about my experience with dating..

I think you're right though, hankhavelock. I think the west has a lot to learn from the rest of the world. But we're too arrogant to listen
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  #57  
Old 09-14-2008
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You know, I think every transwoman I know would give their left tit for a relationship to happen like this. I don't think you guys know how tough it is to go out on something so simple as a date.

Although I cannot relate to your experiences I can assure you I know how tough it is. It's never easy. For me it is the pressure on me to impress.
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  #58  
Old 09-14-2008
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Originally Posted by rhythmic delivery View Post
your kind of contradicting yourself there before you said dogs always come back no mater how much you abuse them, dogs are just loyal. and as for cats being better than us. Lol you obviously don't have a very high opinion of yourself

I'd not call that loyalty...I'd call it stupidity. If I were a dog and you kicked or abused me I'd bite you, leave, piss on your car tires or something and never see you again. Woof beeeeotch!
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  #59  
Old 09-14-2008
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I think you're right though, hankhavelock. I think the west has a lot to learn from the rest of the world. But we're too arrogant to listen
Nah, my man... some of us are not afraid to listen and to bask in the communities we're suddenly a part of :-) Anyways, you're a good old Aussie (as I understand it), and I'm a bloody Dane... let's hook up here in Jkt and go charm the dames ;-) This is your region, mano!

But I dig all your hang ups on neoconservatism and the inherent fascism that is within that ungodly way of thinking and doing. Unfortunately they may come into power once again if the liberal Americans don't pull their act totally together.

And untill that happens Bionca and friends will continue to have a nasty time out on the town... because this is not about the horrors of dating on a personal level only... this is about backwards societies pointing fingers at the weirdos. And in the morale of George Bush and his holy wife and frontrunners every one here is an insaniac who deserves ridicule and stoning...

They'd make such good muslims... in the bad way that is...

Peace!

H
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  #60  
Old 09-14-2008
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Default stay positive

got to keep the chin up bionca, you just need to find the right guy and everything will fall into balance. u certainly have the yummy looks, so it is just a matter of time.
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  #61  
Old 09-14-2008
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never give up never surrender
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  #62  
Old 09-14-2008
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never give up never surrender
Oh well... surrendering to the right girl is not so bad at all, dearrr...
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  #63  
Old 09-21-2008
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never give up never surrender
That's right, o' geek girl. Just remember, Bionca:
By Grabthar's hammer, by the sons of Worvan, you shall get a date!
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  #64  
Old 09-21-2008
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LOL - well we will be having assorted comicbook conventions shortly and an Anime festival and the ever popular all night horror movie marathon. Who knows, maybe some lucky boy will find an unexpected treat in some panties...

But likely, not.
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  #65  
Old 09-21-2008
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If I only I were so lucky!
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  #66  
Old 09-22-2008
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LOL - well we will be having assorted comicbook conventions shortly and an Anime festival and the ever popular all night horror movie marathon. Who knows, maybe some lucky boy will find an unexpected treat in some panties...

But likely, not.
Maybe my brother and I wil bump into you. I bet you'ld like him. And you deserve to meet a sweet guy like him.


Jenn
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  #67  
Old 09-23-2008
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Maybe my brother and I wil bump into you. I bet you'ld like him. And you deserve to meet a sweet guy like him.


Jenn
I think you guys are a little far to bump into.. but stranger things have happened
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  #68  
Old 09-23-2008
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If I only I were so lucky!
Ogryn - I think the lucky one will be the Tgal who snags you
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  #69  
Old 09-24-2008
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I think you guys are a little far to bump into.. but stranger things have happened
Where do you live?
Jenn
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  #70  
Old 09-24-2008
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Hey, I just joined this forum and I hope everything works out for you. Much luck and support =)
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  #71  
Old 09-25-2008
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Yeah, hang in there Bionca, comic books rule! And horror movies too!
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  #72  
Old 09-25-2008
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Where do you live?
Jenn
Hey Jenn .. I'm in the middle of Ohio.
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  #73  
Old 09-26-2008
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Ya too bad you or no one else lives around here Bionca.

I've been going through Boston and still no luck. I know there has to be a place though. I gotta keep looking!

That one woman's gotta be out there somewhere, haha. :P

CS
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  #74  
Old 09-30-2008
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Ohio? Ever heard of Rushville, I hope?
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  #75  
Old 09-30-2008
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Hey Jenn .. I'm in the middle of Ohio.
Oregon here, just south of Portland. at least we're both in the USA.LOL

Jenn
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  #76  
Old 10-07-2008
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Bionca, I guess I cannot offer you any better advice than anyone here has already given you. On one hand I hate to say "don't give up" because it sounds so banal, but on the other hand such cliches have become over-used for a reason: they're true.

I know I cannot even pretend to begin to know what you have gone through (and sadly seemingly continue to go through) in dating, but as a fellow human being I can empathize, and my heart does go out to you.

I myself am sick of being single, and yet I hardly ever even put myself out there and make myself available anymore. I'm not exactly a "catch" and am not getting any younger, but I realize I need to at least try here soon and see what the future has in store for me as far as a significant other.

Sorry, I did not mean to make this post all about me (and thus steer it into a severly boring tangent!) but just wanted you to know there's at least a reason (other than the simple milk of human kindness) that I feel for you.

You have A LOT to offer (and that's an incredible understatement!) Don't give up (sorry to say it again, but you will see why I did so!) because if you do you will not only be cheating yourself but you will be cheating the one who is meant for you as well.

Much and
Rob
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  #77  
Old 10-08-2008
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Default Don't give up!

Sometimes it all depends on where you are at. I know it sounds all cliche and bullshit, but If you live in a place where lack of mental facility and wanton hedonism are abundant, that is all you are bound to find. I know this all too well. I live in Cali. I've met girls who look just as beautiful as you and what they have in beauty, they equally lack in character. Sometimes you just gotta get away from it all and start fresh.
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  #78  
Old 10-08-2008
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Default dunno...

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Originally Posted by Bionca View Post
LOL - well we will be having assorted comicbook conventions shortly and an Anime festival and the ever popular all night horror movie marathon. Who knows, maybe some lucky boy will find an unexpected treat in some panties...

But likely, not.
Try Comic-Con here in San Diego. Who Knows?
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  #79  
Old 10-28-2008
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Smile Wow

for a woman as beautiful as you are I can't understand why you haven't found someone.

Keep trying! He's out there!

Brian
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  #80  
Old 11-02-2008
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Default not far from me

Hi Bianca! I would totally love to date you! Only one little State between us lol. Perhaps a guy who walks both sides of the fence and knows more about where you are coming from? Sorry all you fellas out there on this site. But a part time gurl like me understands what she's talking about far more then you ever will.
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  #81  
Old 11-02-2008
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It's really easy to become frustrated with dating, etc. I was just talking to one of my girlfriends who's also trans and we were discussing how, at times, we feel like we'll never find a man! Of course, she's still hung up on her ex, but I understand all too well the feeling of "he's just not out there."

I do believe in love, though. I've seen enough instances where it all works out not to. However, I'm realistic enough to know that as a tgirl, it's going to be difficult (although even genetic girls have trouble!)

They say if you look for love you'll never find it. It just sort of pops in front of you when you least expect it. That may be, but I still want to bitch until it does! :P
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  #82  
Old 11-03-2008
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Hi Bianca! I would totally love to date you! Only one little State between us lol. Perhaps a guy who walks both sides of the fence and knows more about where you are coming from? Sorry all you fellas out there on this site. But a part time gurl like me understands what she's talking about far more then you ever will.
RACHEL,

There are other variations out there. Some men have female-type thought patterns when it comes to love, romance, sexuality and relationships. I know because I'm one of them. Plus, a lot of t-girls have female-type thought patterns that lead them to become women.
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  #83  
Old 11-03-2008
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I honestly feel really sorry for you. Especially because none of these guys understand what you want or what you are thinking. I wouldn't give up hope but there is always someone there that is right for you.

In experience the right person always comes when you least expect it. You're very attractive and I doubt you'll have a problem finding Mr.Right
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  #84  
Old 11-04-2008
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Default thought patterns?

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RACHEL,

There are other variations out there. Some men have female-type thought patterns when it comes to love, romance, sexuality and relationships. I know because I'm one of them. Plus, a lot of t-girls have female-type thought patterns that lead them to become women.
Having thought patterns and going out in a dress arent even in the same ball park.
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  #85  
Old 11-04-2008
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Having thought patterns and going out in a dress arent even in the same ball park.

RACHEL:

Isn't it your thoughts that help you understand what the other person is experiencing?

I have a feeling we're talking about 2 different parts of 1 thing.

Could you elaborate on the wearing-a-dress parts you're referring to? Is it the excitement, like wearing sexy lingerie? The uneasiness of being found out? The vulnerability of being delicate? Is it 1, 2, or all? Are there other reasons?

I was referring to understanding the longing and the potholes of the dating process. Granted, that combined with lipstick, panties, a dress, hose and pumps would give you a better understanding; but not by as wide a margin as you appear to be stating.

Piece,


TAL
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  #86  
Old 11-06-2008
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Default going out

Sorry I dont usually have much time to make long speeches here so i I try to keep my answers or replies short and to the point. i thought you might understand what I meant by that.Thrill of going out... Oh yes lots of thrills. And fears too. Fear of getting found out. Fear of gettting beat to the death. Just little stuff like that a Tgirl deals with. Something you cant understand until you have walked in our shoes.
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  #87  
Old 11-06-2008
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Sorry I dont usually have much time to make long speeches here so i I try to keep my answers or replies short and to the point. i thought you might understand what I meant by that.Thrill of going out... Oh yes lots of thrills. And fears too. Fear of getting found out. Fear of gettting beat to the death. Just little stuff like that a Tgirl deals with. Something you cant understand until you have walked in our shoes.
RACHEL,

I can understand it, having seen it in San Francisco first hand. I saw the fear and can understand it. I've felt the fear of getting beat up, but not for wearing a dress or sexual preference. I can directly rate and understand to at least probably a 70% point of all parts inclusive. Plus, I've experienced the date excitement to an 85% point, and have received flowers.

We weren't on the same page, sweetie. BTW, do your feet hurt walking in those pumps?


Piece,


TAL
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  #88  
Old 11-06-2008
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Nah, I walk better in 5 inch heels then I do in low heels
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Old 11-06-2008
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Nah, I walk better in 5 inch heels then I do in low heels
RACHEL,

How can you tell when you're in that state of euphoria?

It's so interesting that you answered #2 before giving this answer,
which means you feel no pain in that state of bliss, no?


Piece,


TAL
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  #90  
Old 11-07-2008
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Default euphoria

perhaps somethings are better said in private messages
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  #91  
Old 11-25-2008
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Well, I have given up on giving up. A guy I briefly dated this summer (who dumpped me because he started to like me too much *boggle*) asked me out a few weeks ago. We have been dating VERY casually - intentionally not seriously and it has been fun. I have no illusions that we will progress to anything serious, we just don't have that much in common.

One good thing about him... he always shows up when we have a date, and calls if he's late. I'm always amazed at how often we get stood up. He also took me to meet some of his friends.
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Old 11-26-2008
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Originally Posted by Bionca View Post
Well, I have given up on giving up.
Hmm...I don't know. Maybe it's just me, but "given up on giving up" definitely sounds like one of those double negative thingies that cancels itself out. Which means things sound pretty promising for you there!

And I say good. Slates should always be wiped clean, with a new spirit of hope in the air. Because when it comes to romance or finding that special person who will care about you for all that you are inside, I think no one should ever "give up". After all, there's someone for everyone, even if in today's modern dating world it often seems that you have to go searching far and wide.

So, since you're one of the nicest people around here, Bionca, I think I speak for all when I say we're rooting for you and wishing you all the best with this. Just make sure he brings flowers and picks up the tab at dinner! And he buys whatever concessions you want at the movies -- soda, popcorn, candy AND those cheese gooey nachos!
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  #93  
Old 11-26-2008
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Hi Bionca,I've just read your post for the first time,i have to say i'm sorry for men,we are if truth be told a bunch of cunts,most will lie because they just want a sexual liason with a shemale because they have hard on for it at that time,Or like most men like the power of playing the field.This makes it an impossible task for the guys who want to meet a good woman,have a great date and like to meet again.But it just depends on what you want Bionca,if the nice guys are 1000's of miles away,what does that tell you.
All the best Tony
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  #94  
Old 11-26-2008
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I have been there myself- a few rotten aeggs shouldn't get you down even though I know it does- men are always out trolling to see what they can catch- love your blog...
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  #95  
Old 11-26-2008
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Originally Posted by Bionca View Post
That's right done - finished - off the market - no longer looking for Mr ANYTHING.

I had a date this afternoon over lunch. With my work schedule, it was actually a chore for me to be up and ready for a date by noon. I made sure that we were actually clear that by "lunch date" we would NOT be rushing off to McDonalds, but rather meeting for proper food.

We ate at a place of my choosing and we were having a really good time. He was funny and we were making eachother laugh the whole time. His phone rang and he excused himself. When he came back he's grin was gone and he apologized that he would have to go early.

I commented that work calling during lunch sucks. Attempting to reassure him that I understood, and wasn't holding his need to go against him. Then he let it slip.... "Well actually my WIFE ...."

I don't particularly have any investment in anyone elses' relationship. I'm really not pressed if someone has another primary relationship. By the same token, I'm not going to be lied to. When we were talking/chatting he specifically mentioned he was single.

I'm not sure what it is. Since I can't seem to find guys willing to actually show up on a date. Or who actually think a "date" is more involved than meeting me in a hotel room so they can make sure I meet their standards of "passable". Or who aren't involved already. Why is it the only really great guys that I meet are 1000's of miles away??!!?

So, yeah, I'm just done. Time to buy some cats.
I feel bad for you as I would for anyone. But are you sure he was married? Perhaps he was under a different impression of who you said you were. I'm not making excuses for him, but think hard about how your conversations went. What I am trying to express to you is don't give up. Just really be yourself either over the internet,phone or in person.
Sometimes I feel it was a mistake to be married, but then I think It's what we both put into it. Right now I have found something new(transexuals)to fantasize about but that's all I want out of it. Maybe he did to. Meeting face to face probably gave him a case of cold feet and realized he's gone too far. We all have different tastes and sometimes they evolve to something that was not an option before. Don't quit but don't push. Let it happen. Good luck.
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Old 11-27-2008
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bionca View Post
Well, I have given up on giving up. A guy I briefly dated this summer (who dumpped me because he started to like me too much *boggle*) asked me out a few weeks ago. We have been dating VERY casually - intentionally not seriously and it has been fun. I have no illusions that we will progress to anything serious, we just don't have that much in common.

One good thing about him... he always shows up when we have a date, and calls if he's late. I'm always amazed at how often we get stood up. He also took me to meet some of his friends.
BIONCA,

Use a casual approach to find out what the road block was/is, because you have nothing to lose by doing so. Ergo, it's not friends. Gently, mention family members and co-workers he has w/o being direct, while watching his facial reactions to their mention to gather clues. As you probably know, he is cool w/ you, as are his friends. Somebody (1 or more) isn't. Or he doesn't want more than just fun.

Trying to help,

TAL
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Old 11-28-2008
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The roadblock on his part is that his brother is gay (we met in a gay bar) and he's a little afraid that being with me makes him gay. He asked me not to tell his friends - I haven't told, but I also didn't promise that I wouldn't (if they said something ignorant, I'd have to say something). So far nothing came up and I really don't expect it to.

I know he really likes me - but we seriously have nothing in common. Conversations are light and casual, but no real shared interests. We do ave some earth-moving sex though. I mean seriously, some of the best I have ever had. I know I'm OK with how the relationship is, and he's a guy - I doubt he's losing sleep with a kinda cute girl who just wants to go out dancing and then make his eyes cross and urge him on to orgasm #3 and isn't making any real demands of his time or attention (unless we are in the same room).
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Old 11-28-2008
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Originally Posted by new believer View Post
I feel bad for you as I would for anyone. But are you sure he was married? Perhaps he was under a different impression of who you said you were. I'm not making excuses for him, but think hard about how your conversations went. What I am trying to express to you is don't give up. Just really be yourself either over the internet,phone or in person.
Sometimes I feel it was a mistake to be married, but then I think It's what we both put into it. Right now I have found something new(transexuals)to fantasize about but that's all I want out of it. Maybe he did to. Meeting face to face probably gave him a case of cold feet and realized he's gone too far. We all have different tastes and sometimes they evolve to something that was not an option before. Don't quit but don't push. Let it happen. Good luck.

If he wasn't married, then he lied to me to get out of a date. Either way he is/was a jerk and either way he lied. I really don't have an issue with going out with married guys. My ex an I have a really healthy open relationship, so monogomy is pretty negotiable with me. I do, however, expect a level of honesty and if I don't have that, then no level of relationship is going to work.

If he did get cold feet, and by the number of guys who fail to show up to dates I assume it's pretty darn common. That's not really my issue, honestly. Given the rate at which guys fail to show up on a date, it'd hard not to start to take that personally. I mean I think I'm a pretty swell gal, and I'm not ugly, so it kinda pisses me off.
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Old 11-28-2008
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Quote:
I mean I think I'm a pretty swell gal, and I'm not ugly
Sweety you surely are pretty, not only from the outside but also from the inside. Good people are hard to find these days believe me. It's normal to be pissed off and give up and then you gather enough energy to search again for the right person and this keeps goin on till you find that person.
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Old 11-28-2008
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BIONCA:

You do have ONE hugh thing in common: the best sex, and the way to his heart is thru his cock. You spoiled him by being a super aggressive bottom.

Looks and you: it's not either. Even if you meet the right person, you have to meet them at the right time. Forget the pattern, it's not you or your looks. BTW, 2 out of every 3 straight relationships don't work or 67% w/ a total of 56% ending in divorce, which means there are a lot of people living together in unhappy fragile relationships.

It's a long journey, but worth the wait.


Piece,


TAL
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