Identify me

[brada]

Hi can someone help me discover my actual gender identity?

I am a gender male, and I have 4 sisters. Since extremely early childhood years I have always felt like and thought of myself as more a female than a male.

I must have been only 12 or 13 when I wore my first bikini (in private)

Around the age of 15 or so I had a boyfriend who i did lay with regularly

I love to wear boyshorts, panties, tight lowrise jeans. I suppose if i were actually a complete female I would be a tomboy, I would probably wear jeans and tshirts and halters etc, like so many of the girls you see in the mall and out and around.

I am NOT into wearing dresses and skirts and tops though, although maybe if I were substantially prettier I might.

I have a slight frame, not like most typical guys, but more like all of my petite skinny little sisters.

I have one breast which the nipple is hard most of the time and alot more sensative than the other, and my breasts are puffed out ever so slightly, naturally, and always have been.

I have small genitalia.

I have always been into girls even though in my younger years I had that boyfriend, I dated alot of girls, then I married one.

When I look at girls either in public or in porn, I do NOT wish that I could have them, but instead, I wish I WERE them.

I fantasize about BEING those girls and crave it so badly but have no interest in being with those girls.

I also (recently) discovered that I am now once again interested in men. I crave being WITH men.

I do not consider myself to be a man, I feel more like a woman & think more like a woman.

I do not think I am merely a cross dresser, I feel like I am more a girl who was born with male genitals.

Oh, it may also be helpful to note that... I have spent around the last 4 years (spare time) living in second life. I have a beautiful female avatar who works at a club in world as a stripper and in there I am able to live as that girl that I feel like I should be. Recently I have made a new avatar though, this one a female but with no breasts and a penis, I am now acknowledging myself in second life as what I think I just might be in real life... a femboy.

Can someone put a label to me?

[smc]

The answer to your question is: NO!

Why that answer? I REFUSE!

It is my sincere hope that no one on this forum answers your question in any way other than the following:

Your identity is your own. It is your responsibility to "label" yourself, if label you must. Otherwise, just be who you are and reject being labeled. But first and foremost, no one else should label you. Period.

[brada]

thanks, i do understand what you are saying, but, i was hoping to get some sort of idea of what i may even call myself. I don't know if i fit in to the femboy category, the sissyboy category, when I am asked... I have no idea how to answer.

[a9127]

SMC is correct, only you can decide for yourself how you wish to identify. But in your post there were two statements that stood out to me:

Originally Posted by brada

I do not consider myself to be a man, I feel more like a woman & think more like a woman.

I do not think I am merely a cross dresser, I feel like I am more a girl who was born with male genitals.

As for what you should call yourself when asked, why don't you just say "Hi, I'm brada!" Or whatever your real name is?

[smc]

Originally Posted by a9127

... As for what you should call yourself when asked, why don't you just say "Hi, I'm brada!" Or whatever your real name is?

I'm sorry my earlier response was not what you were looking for, brada, but I reiterate my earlier point. And a9127 gets it exactly right!

Even if you feel the need to have a label, it still stands that no one else should determine that label for you.

[brada]

ok, maybe i shouldnt have used the word "label".

Even though i believe i was born this way with genetics and have lived my life through this far being this way, it does not mean that i understand it. I have always just gone through without talking to anyone about it, without researching it and without being around anyone who was like me.

The whole concept that i am a little different than most standard males - but that there are indeed others like me, and they even call themselves certain things... there are femboys, there are sissyboys there are tranny's and maybe more. For me to have finally discovered this was so very liberating. It was like a weight was lifted from my shoulders to find out that i am not alone, and that there are actually so many of us that they even have some broad based categories and terms that are used.

I came to the forum seeking the wisdom and knowledge of those of you who do have an understanding. I came to draw upon the knowledge of those of you who can maybe help explain a little about what it seems to you, that i may be, based on the character and behavioral traits that I listed, so that i could say ... ohhh, so thats mostly what i am, thanks to these other people who are like me, who know what this is, and thanks to their helping me by taking a moment to look at my traits and recognizing it and telling me, i now know

[hankhavelock]

I agree that exact labels tend to be tricky ? based on what you write, I?d think you?re probably on level 4 of Harry Benjamin?s scale (http://www.genderpsychology.org/tran...njamin_gd.html). Based on my experience I believe that Benjamin?s scale is fairly spot on in its attempt to quantify the different levels of transgenderism, however, take it with a grain of salt.

Most importantly is, of course, to be who you are ? and I can guarantee you that you are far from alone :-)

Best regards
Hank

[brada]

oh thank you so much for that. I went to the link, it was sooo helpful.

You were close, I would probably classify myself as a type 5. And i know it's way more complicated than just a brief analysis - if it weren't, then I probably would have known half a lifetime ago.

Also after having read responses here, and having read some around the internet trying to figure me out.. I seem to not fit in tightly into any of the broad spectrum categories. Best i can come up with for myself is maybe a "femguy". Femboy is just too young sounding for me

[hankhavelock]

As mentioned, take it with a grain of salt - in fact, many trans-women will fall in-between or overlapping categories - it's very individualistic. As a matter of fact, in one regard I consider Benjamin's scale a bit outdated - namely where he adds sexual orientation as part of the equation. No doubt, the vast majority of trans-women (as cis-women) are sexually oriented toward men, however, there are lesbians or bisexuals among trans-women too (probably more so in the West than here in Asia), so gender identity and sexual orientation remain separate.

Anyway, keep digging into it - it's really a fascinating field and there are many good resources on the internet.

What I've actually always liked about this particular site (I used to be more active here) is the way it seemingly integrates what I'd label "porn-chat" with more serious issues - so this is not a bad place to begin.

Hank