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Old 10-24-2012
ConfusedBoyJason ConfusedBoyJason is offline
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Default My exposure to shemale porn has changed my sexuality

My name is Jason, i'm 19 years old from Maryland USA and i'm pretty new to this forum and to its subject matter. A little more than a half a year ago I was pretty much a completely different person from who I am now in just about every way, I'm still changing I believe but I have no idea into what, all I know is that I've been unable to fight it, though I've tried, and I'm slowly beginning to convince myself that I should leave my old self behind and give in to this new apparently inescapable reality. Who knew that something as small as a new genre in porn could lead to such a drastic change in my life.

It never occurred to me 6 months ago, when I first saw shemale porn, that I might become so strongly transfixed with the beauty and perfection of warm, pulsating, cum filled shemale cock. I could never have imagined that the pursuit of said cock would be so close to becoming my sole sexual pursuit, desire, and motivation. When I first started watching shemale porn their cocks didn't particularly interest me, I didn't like shemales with really big cocks and I was only really into guys or other shemales fucking shemales, I would always fantasize about fucking the shemales asses. After a month I began to branch out and watched a wider variety of shemale videos, I loved watching shemales suck cock and strip and masturbate, but the shemales always had to be very feminine and I still wasn't a huge fan of big cocks.

Maybe a month or so after I branched out to other niches, the strangest thing happened, I stopped enjoying videos where the man was dominant and I started really enjoying big cocks, for example I LOVED watching black shemales with huge cocks fucking dudes brains out before the out of breath men frantically tried to fit the huge throbbing black cocks in their mouths, gagging with every thrust before receiving their creamy hot load. No longer did I care most about the shemales tits, or how feminine they looked, I sought out big cocks, and became obsessed with shemales cumshots. And probably a month after starting to enjoy shemale dominant movies and big dicks I began fantasizing and getting aroused exclusively about sucking big shemale cocks, as well as getting penetrated, for the first time I realized how much I had become obsessed by cock and the idea of pleasuring one, and since then my obsession hasn't done anything but become more intense.

Its crazy how strong my desires and obsessive cravings have become in less than a year. Every day it becomes harder to fight the desire to fantasize about cock, with each new failed attempt at banishing these fantasies, I feel my desire to be straight, to be normal, and my dream of marrying a woman shrink a bit more, and my desires to devote my life to worshiping cock, to seeking out cum, and my urge to fill my ever more empty-feeling asshole with a thick, veiny, throbbing cock grow ever larger and harder to fight.

Even more recently I have noticed that the length of time that I manage to successfully convince myself that this is "just a phase" that "I'm straight" and not in fact a cock obsessed little slut has become even shorter by the day. And the "willpower and control" I so falsely claim to have in regards to my sexual fantasies now barely last 2 days before I'm right back on the internet pathetically drooling over cock and watching feminization and cock sucking hypnosis videos to try and get rid of any "willpower" I might have left so I can adore and worship cock permanently with complete and utter dedication. Today if had a choice between being able to achieve any of my lifelong goals or dreams such as serving in the U.S. Senate, falling in love, and getting married, or having my very existence reduced to a life of minimum wage and hard work in which I was given the task of pleasuring a different cock every day, I would choose the latter.

I don't think I'm a homosexual however, the male form does nothing sexually for me, in fact, except for the often stunning cocks gay porn stars have, gay porn is somewhat of a turn off. I also don't believe that I am a woman in a mans body, I've never really feel like I want to be a woman and I like my own penis, although small, I do often feel envious of them in how they get to enjoy so much cock so easily. And though my obsession with cock was focused on strictly shemale cocks, more recently as my obsession has grown I have begun to be constantly tempted by the idea of a mans cock, as there are men all around. Just yesterday I also tried wearing a pair of panties that I found in the laundry room for the first time and though putting on the red lace thong made me very aroused, the feeling of the lace against my asshole made me so hard, although I don't believe it was because I desire to be a woman, it just made me feel very, in a sense, almost slutty I guess and my desire to suck cock was amplified, which is why I think I enjoyed it.

In a sense I have no idea what I am sexually, I don't believe I'm gay, I don't believe I'm transgendered, and after dreaming last night about simultaneously jerking off two big, throbbing black cocks, while I gag on a third, and the fourth and largest fucks my ass, even I find it hard to claim that I'm straight now. All I know is that I want to worship cock more than any desire I've ever had before. And that writing this out and admitting that I can't control my urges for cock has gotten me so desperately horny, I wish I could stay like this forever...
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  #2  
Old 10-25-2012
newt72 newt72 is offline
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hello jason my name is greg from illinois i am 40, it is okay to be confused you are still young but it sounds like you are getting your thoughts straightend out. i was like you finally i said fuck it this is me it is who i am i myself call me bi i think that fits better than anything else, and you are turned on by a beautiful set of people you will find out who you are one day maybe check out domino presley, ashley george or bailey jay, bailey was the one who made me fall in love
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  #3  
Old 10-27-2012
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WOW I loved you presentation Jason. It really approximates my story. The at first being astonished of the shemales form and believing that it must be photo shop. But then time goes on and you realize that this is real and exciting. I remember seeing Barbie Woods the first time when she had her own web site and looking at one picture of her lying on her side and saying to myself--If there ever was a cock that I would suck it would be hers. Oh and I did get it finally- sucked it, had it fuck me and I fucked her--that was a nice day.

She wasn't my first as the desire kept growing and I found eros.com and saw all those beautiful escorts I made up my mind to act. I flew to New Orleans - 1500 miles away because I semi knew the city-with the total intention of sucking my first cock. I was there for 3 days going to everything on Bourbon St before I acted on it. I selected a Native American as my first--called - made the appointment - took a taxi to a seedy to say the least part of town to her address. I was greeted at the door by the beautiful lady I had seen on the ad. Went in - paid my fee and we got undressed and laid on the bed. After very small time of kissing and petting I had to tell myself again why I was there and looked down at he lovely hard on. When I reached down and took it in my hand-that was there cock other than my own I had ever touched. I didn't die so I kissed my way down he mid section until that cock was staring me in the face. Well it's now or never-- I eased my mouth-wet my lips and slid her cock head into my mouth and took my time tasting her cock skin and analyzing the feel and taste. I slowly took more and more in until I had it all. Damn this was hot. I sucked on her-tasting and dreaming and then let her out and started tasting her cock while sliding down to her ball sack. Oh well- take it in my man--take it in. I sucked on her sack and back to her cock and back down.. Damn I loved this. Unconsciously I went lower and lower as her taste and smell commanded it. I was tonguing her taint and then I was shocked that I was licking her asshole and beyond and enjoying the hell out of it. I gently worked all of this over and over until she took my head in her hands and brought me up to her cock head and slid in between my lips and blew her nice big load. I big drop landed on her taught belly - it was solid white and firm - beautiful - I covered it with my lips and sucked it in - then back to her cock. She must have face fucked me for another 10 minutes or so with me wanting to take her whole cock and balls in one mouthful. When she finally pulled me up for a lot of kissing she said that was the best bj she had had in years. "You sure this was your first ?"

Well we cleaned up and she gave me a ride back to civilization. We talked about tranny bars and she showed me two. Which was safer etc-my hotel was just 2 short blocks in-between both. Off I went-cleaned up took a nap-showered and headed out to one of the bars just for a drink and people watching-I love that. A few drinks and I was off to round two-this time I got fucked for the first time in my life-doggy even. In the next 3 days before I had to fly out I had encounters with 5 different TS ladies of the night.

It was a stepping stone ? since then I have had not enough TS dates, found a gay masseur not far from me that we now do everything together when we meet and have suck and been suck by maybe 40 or 50 guys. Yes they are more plentiful-the only thing I want from them is cock and cum?the male form other than that extremely rarely one gets me cooking. There is nothing hotter than two hot bodies being body to body together with the only intention having wild exotic sex?women, TS or man.

Tomorrow morning I hit the trails in search of the perfect cock. Don?t let your age interfere?I am 69 and have to have my porn and dump at least one load everyday or I don?t feel right.
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  #4  
Old 10-28-2012
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CCC View Post
WOW I loved you presentation Jason. It really approximates my story. The at first being astonished of the shemales form and believing that it must be photo shop. But then time goes on and you realize that this is real and exciting. I remember seeing Barbie Woods the first time when she had her own web site and looking at one picture of her lying on her side and saying to myself--If there ever was a cock that I would suck it would be hers. Oh and I did get it finally- sucked it, had it fuck me and I fucked her--that was a nice day.

She wasn't my first as the desire kept growing and I found eros.com and saw all those beautiful escorts I made up my mind to act. I flew to New Orleans - 1500 miles away because I semi knew the city-with the total intention of sucking my first cock. I was there for 3 days going to everything on Bourbon St before I acted on it. I selected a Native American as my first--called - made the appointment - took a taxi to a seedy to say the least part of town to her address. I was greeted at the door by the beautiful lady I had seen on the ad. Went in - paid my fee and we got undressed and laid on the bed. After very small time of kissing and petting I had to tell myself again why I was there and looked down at he lovely hard on. When I reached down and took it in my hand-that was there cock other than my own I had ever touched. I didn't die so I kissed my way down he mid section until that cock was staring me in the face. Well it's now or never-- I eased my mouth-wet my lips and slid her cock head into my mouth and took my time tasting her cock skin and analyzing the feel and taste. I slowly took more and more in until I had it all. Damn this was hot. I sucked on her-tasting and dreaming and then let her out and started tasting her cock while sliding down to her ball sack. Oh well- take it in my man--take it in. I sucked on her sack and back to her cock and back down.. Damn I loved this. Unconsciously I went lower and lower as her taste and smell commanded it. I was tonguing her taint and then I was shocked that I was licking her asshole and beyond and enjoying the hell out of it. I gently worked all of this over and over until she took my head in her hands and brought me up to her cock head and slid in between my lips and blew her nice big load. I big drop landed on her taught belly - it was solid white and firm - beautiful - I covered it with my lips and sucked it in - then back to her cock. She must have face fucked me for another 10 minutes or so with me wanting to take her whole cock and balls in one mouthful. When she finally pulled me up for a lot of kissing she said that was the best bj she had had in years. "You sure this was your first ?"

Well we cleaned up and she gave me a ride back to civilization. We talked about tranny bars and she showed me two. Which was safer etc-my hotel was just 2 short blocks in-between both. Off I went-cleaned up took a nap-showered and headed out to one of the bars just for a drink and people watching-I love that. A few drinks and I was off to round two-this time I got fucked for the first time in my life-doggy even. In the next 3 days before I had to fly out I had encounters with 5 different TS ladies of the night.

It was a stepping stone ? since then I have had not enough TS dates, found a gay masseur not far from me that we now do everything together when we meet and have suck and been suck by maybe 40 or 50 guys. Yes they are more plentiful-the only thing I want from them is cock and cum?the male form other than that extremely rarely one gets me cooking. There is nothing hotter than two hot bodies being body to body together with the only intention having wild exotic sex?women, TS or man.

Tomorrow morning I hit the trails in search of the perfect cock. Don?t let your age interfere?I am 69 and have to have my porn and dump at least one load everyday or I don?t feel right.
wow...
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  #5  
Old 10-28-2012
trannylover2007
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AWESOME! Jason, don't worry about sexuality.. gay, bi, trans, wherever... just be yourself, if you're happy be the greatest shemale cock sucker ever! Its just awesome and I LOVE IT! everytime I think about my first t-girl I get excited.. I wasn't sure/secure about sucking a cock.. that same feeling we all have in the beginning... the "fear" of becoming gay.... I looked at her, with that hard cock between her legs.. (it wasn't big)... I just couldn't hold myself.. started to sucking her like there was no tomorrow! LOVED! I love sucking t-girls cocks and the thought of sucking one, jerking two and being penetrated by other just got me harder than a rock! LOL! maaaannn I'll have to fuck someone today!!! All the best for u guys!
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  #6  
Old 11-01-2012
ConfusedBoyJason ConfusedBoyJason is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by trannylover2007 View Post
AWESOME! Jason, don't worry about sexuality.. gay, bi, trans, wherever... just be yourself, if you're happy be the greatest shemale cock sucker ever! Its just awesome and I LOVE IT! everytime I think about my first t-girl I get excited.. I wasn't sure/secure about sucking a cock.. that same feeling we all have in the beginning... the "fear" of becoming gay.... I looked at her, with that hard cock between her legs.. (it wasn't big)... I just couldn't hold myself.. started to sucking her like there was no tomorrow! LOVED! I love sucking t-girls cocks and the thought of sucking one, jerking two and being penetrated by other just got me harder than a rock! LOL! maaaannn I'll have to fuck someone today!!! All the best for u guys!
Thank you all so much for replying, it took alot of courage to write and post all of that, and getting responses makes me feel so good about myself. If anyone here would be down to talk with me some time i would love it, nothing helps me accept and figure things out like someone to talk to about it My yahoo is jnitsios93@yahoo.com
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