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3 things which make people scared of change
I believe, principally, there are three things which make people scared
of change - and they all result from experience... 1. People learn in life. To learn, we (mostly) have to experience pain - especially kids. So, once we learn about one thing and believe we understand it, we make a tick in the box and move on. Change often means "re-learning". Now, throughout our lives we learn that learning can be painful! So, when we are faced with a choice, do we really want to hurt ourselves more and relearn? 2. There is an old expression - "the devil you know is better than the devil you do not know". More often than not, people summon up the courage to make the change, not through logical thought and evaluation, but because of an emotional reaction. So, they change direction and all of a sudden - nothing turns out as they had expected. They find themselves in a right mess. The change was for the worse. Now, in this situation, the logical answer would be to back-track, but unfortunately, so many of us are so bloody-minded and stubborn that we do not allow ourselves to embark on this "cowardly" approach - we battle on and get deeper in the mess (some say shit, but I don't!) ... So, the change becomes a real horror and bad experience, which makes us even more adamant to avoid change in the future. 3. When a change is made, "things" tend to get worse before they get better. However, this is usually due to lack of planning the change properly. You will notice in business, when companies plan a change nowadays, all sorts of processes are set in motion - mainly "risk mitigation" - i.e. avoid the shit we would get into if the change were made purely from an emotional reaction... Hey, we are living in a "cotton-wool" world, where society "protects" us from all sorts of things we should be exposed to (and learn to try to avoid from a very early age - i.e. only do when necessary). Only a few thousand years ago, we were hunters - we killed on a daily basis. Blood and killing was necessary for our survival. In those times, we would probably have preferred romance,dramas and "good news" to give us balance! Now, society tries to stamp out any form of "natural" instinct and brand it as "bad", "primitive". Hey, damn it, we are primitive - we need to hunt, fish, live with nature, understand our place in the world - we are predators - just because we buy unrecognizable dead animals in supermarkets, packed in pretty cartons (which, incidentally suffered more that any hunted animal) does not mean we are better than other carnivores. But society has tried to elevate man above nature, make him something better... and quite simply - genetically that can not work. So, we like bad new to give us balance. One thing, strange about me (I know there are many things strange about me!!!) - I do not watch (bad) news and "good" news can bring tears to my eyes because I see hope. Perpectively, I sometimes felt I would like to know that I used to be attractive when I am no longer attractive, but in the interim I know that is nonsense! I took photos of myself to sell myself. I am glad I look like this at my age and if I am looking for an attractive and younger person, logic tells me I need to show that I am not what they may expect of a woman who's lived difficulties. Self-esteem? No, I only feel bad about myself when I cause others pain. I am quite confident and enjoy the report and respect I get from those around me - I am much liked, simply because I am kind, considerate, understanding and respectful to others. I do not give a damn if it's the tea-boy, driver or CEO. I will give them all the same warmth and respect when I meet them - then it is up to them how they want to react with me... and I can be very cold if I believe a person "not good" - very cold indeed... |
#2
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you look damn good
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#3
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She looks even cuter IRL, and she is such a sweet little darling... :-) Ain't you, sweetheart?
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- I cherish the fact that the girls I date are braver than I |
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