Language can be insensitive, but I think people should be allowed to draw a distinction without taking heat. It's just a matter of using the terms in the right contexts with respect. I do like the way you try and raise people's consciousnesses, though. Yes, the phrase carries a nasty connotation for you, but people DO need some way to delineate between someone who was born female and can theoretically give them children and someone who can't. Aside from that, all labels are inherently pernicious and wrong.
I don't have any easy advice for a person in your position. Your situation -- to put it mildly -- is utterly beyond my own limited spheres of experience. On the other hand, it sounds like you pick up some really classy people (sarcasm) and I wonder if there's any way for you to be more selective? Your quoting of Angie Zapata's murderer is an example of the kind of callous mentality I'm talking of: "I had to hit it". Who the hell says something as profoundly repugnant as that, let alone after killing someone? (I'm talking about the person responsible, not you for quoting it, by the way). If the people around you are even a tenth as bad as this, then, if I were you, I think I'd choose to remain celibate (which I currently am). I really hope this doesn't cause you personal offence, but you don't mince your words, and neither will I: Why do you talk about sleeping with this man or that man if they're all such bastards? Is sex a compulsion for you? Or do you keep wishing for the best and finding the worst? Given that I am celibate and would rather a deep, lasting relationship, I personally find it a bit galling to hear you wanting the same yet talk of sleeping with all these people who apparently dump you the moment the deed is done.
Other than that, I will repeat the opening sentence of my last paragraph: I don't have any easy advice for a person in your position. Do you have some for me? I find it difficult to connect with people in a meaningful way, which I personally find as agonising as the way you describe your own situation -- even though you clearly do face ten times the oppression and adversity that I (and many others of us) do. Bionca, I wish you all the best and I hope to hear more from you. Lastly, I again wish to say I hope I haven't offended you.
