[puck]

crossingoceans,
I too agree with the others that a therapist would be of great help. And, while you are searching for that help, you might try to clarify for yourself just exactly what it is that motivates you to crossdress or have an interest in being a transgender. JUst liking or wanting to do it is not in itself a reason. Oftentimes, writing something out or even speaking it, gives a clarity that just thinking about something doesn't. When you hear something spoken you get a better feeling of whether that which is said is on or off the track. Oftentimes, we talk ourselves into something that may not be what we really want. It is just a notion.
I'm also uncertain of your motive and direction. What is it about crossdressing that you wish to persue it? Clothing, eroticism, femininity? What is it about transgender that appeals to you. That you could live as a female? Are your interests in life female oriented? Do you see yourself in a passive role with a male? Are you gay and seeking some way to get around something that you resist?
You already know what your friends and family think about your idea? Imagine if you were a transgender? How would that lessen your problems? From reading the many posts here, I gather that just fulfilling a desire to be a transgender is just the beginning of problems that there will be in society at large. It will make relationships with all sorts of people difficult and different. Just ask any of the m2f posters here.
People in all walks of life must compromise and happiness everyday isn't possible even for the most successful person in the world. Let's say you think of yourself as a woman. In that context, what is it that you would do? Is there any way that you could do that same thing and remain the person you are? Some people aren't cut out to be Babe Ruth or Joe Dimaggio but they can be successful at things related to their interest. A good coach , for example.
Think about what it is that you are striving for in your new identity and see if that is not possible with some modification? You don't need to make instant decisions--take your time. Stay calm.
Best wishes on your journey to self fulfillment.