i was so taken over by grief... or i don't know what.....
that i became miserable......
it was like i was being kept away from my share of candy while my playmates had theirs....
to add further to my woes my parents couldn't understand my needs and sent me to an all boys boarding school......
They probably thought i would adapt to their (boys) way of living but that was not to be.........
i could not fit into the scheme of things there... or rather i didn't even try....
i was ridiculed and bullied and beaten every now and then for my girl like ways....
i could not even stand and pee.....i used to close myself inside a lavatory and sat and peed.....
people soon started becoming curious and after about a week i was caught red handed while sitting and peeing......(it felt like such a crime at that time)....
As a punishment i was asked to pee in front of some seniors while standing....as i was not used to this i spoiled all my clothes while trying to....
Everybody around burst into laughter while i sobbed ...... tears came running down my eyes.....
From then on i became a piece of mockery for everyone.....
when i could bear no more...
i reported the matter to my parents who came to my rescue and got those responsible for my embarrassment expelled.....
But that was little consolation for me.....
i told my parents that i wanted to be a girl for the rest of my life and have nothing to do with boys.....
They could not take it well and everything seemed topsy-turvy ......
my parents moved out of the joint family. We went to a big city to start life afresh where after my continued persuasions...i was allowed professional help
and now i live happily as i should have been.
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