Personall, I like "Tras" or Transgendered". TG, t-gal, t-girl, t-whatever are also good to shorten thing up.
The rest really depend on intention. It's you are my friend you an call me whatever you like. Calling me a "shemale" the first time contacting me, probably not a good idea. If it's just because someone doesn't know better, I'll explain why there is a problem with that word.
Ladyboy, kathoey,hijra, etc. I won't use and don't want used to describe me. They have a specific cultural context that is not mine to use.
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