I can understand your confusion, and it also made me realise something I have overseen. You have the pre-op and the post-op, right? Now I think, and this is my personal opinion, from a sexual stand point the origin of attraction towards these two would be different.
If I met a post-op trans and we hit it off, when we had sex it would be normal, like any other couple of male and female do. On the other hand you have the pre-ops, and although she may think and feel like the post-op the penis doesn't allow her to be seen as 100% female. She may dislike this fact, or she may not really care about it, I think it depends on the person. From the exterior people may find that this difference is really what attracts them. The fact that they can be subdued and penetrated from behind, even many straight males like this. Although because they are really only attracted to females, they could never imagine a male doing this to them, some even have their girlfriends do it to them. Forgive me if I have failed to explain this once again, but this is what I meant in relation to the sexual interest involved.
Now if it were more than just fantasizing, if it were something more emotional it would transcend what you look like on the exterior. I presume in the world of fantasy you can be forgiven for being somewhat shallow, because at that moment you don't really care how that person feels emotionally, you are more concerned with releasing that sexual tension. I would assume that is why in many forums of this type you will find that people have this reaction, they don't mean to offend, it's just the nature of the sexual urge. To maintain the satisfaction and keep your interest, you need something fresh and often bordering on disturbing.
Making a case for the "real thing" vs. fakes isn't really useful since a large portion of the site thinks cis (not trans) IS the "real thing" and by default implication trans is "fake".
Now for your last paragraph, I am in no way trying to invalidate your points, and completely understand how it makes you wonder if trans have something missing, I would too. Remember one thing though, celeb status... that's one new big factor here, you don't see many trans with huge celeb status. I could only think of Miriam Rivera perhaps, only one I watched in a show here in the U.K that run for a while that I remember, and although it did end badly, she looked fantastic. Now she was in the sex industry already so it's not hard to find pictures of her, otherwise I'm pretty sure someone would photoshop something of her! It's what this sexual urge towards celebs pornography does, when one can't find a suitable scandalous celeb pic. In giving these examples I'm trying to point out that if many trans were celebs (not the pornographic variety), and you couldn't see them naked, people would photoshop them to fulfil their sexual needs.
As for saying stating one thing as fake or another, in the end I find this relative, and perhaps it even makes things more complex. Once a trend develops, the events that are put in motion cannot be stopped. You can certainly limit it or try to prevent it from happening but it is there. It's much like, racism, or poverty, feminism, terrorism, etc. to name a few. People who like it will always find ways to indulge on it.
I don't agree with the last statement though, you have actually stated something very similar to what many females say about women in the sex industry and about men who like porn. Women who look more like a hentai cartoon, with boobs the size of Mars, and lips that could float on water! Many wives who find their husbands jack off to these women feel incompetent and wonder the same thing!! The only thing you need to remember is that fantasy differs from reality in that you are always trying to find that perfect body (it always shallow), but it stems from reality. Each trans nowadays looks more and more feminine, so much so that sometimes you can't tell them apart from females that were physically born female. Then add an audience of males that like big penises, since they can relate to how nice it feels to stroke a long hard penis, just as women can relate to how good it feels to seeing another woman feel pleasure. Hence the more feminine the trans and the bigger the penis the better the fantasy, then add celeb status and we can fool the mind (there's of course those who like extremely small penis, unsure as to why but some like it). In light of all of this if an extremely hot trans (real trans) with any resemblance to their fantasy comes along, they will bend themselves backwards and forwards for them (no joke). Cis girls are real and are here to stay (they suit different type of male and apparently some females like it too), but trans have been here way longer, nothing will happen to them... in fact trans are gaining more popularity each day, there are many males who consider themselves to be straight finding themselves attracted to trans women, and I imagine if they were gay they'd find trans women repulsive unless they were very masculine.
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