[Vanillas]

Several months ago I watched a video featuring a group of transgender women involved in a production of "The Vagina Monologues." As I recall only the director was a genetic woman. Some of these women referred to themselves as pre-op and others stated that they had no intention of SRS. Two things struck me about the group as a whole. The first was the bonding that developed among them over their time together, from initial rehearsal to final production. They shared stories and experiences, some of which were inserted into the script, that served to break through much of the isolation and feelings of separateness they may have previously felt. The second was how "normal" their social and dating lives were. Perhaps I'm remembering this in contrast to my more recent exposure to this and similar sites. Still, I sensed that they were not limiting themselves to "tranny seekers," indeed, if they were involved with any at all. Rather, from the way they discussed how and when to disclose - to a new man in their lives - that they were transexuals, I got the distinct impression that they were fully involved in the real world.

Remembering this, I'm wondering about the role of serendipity in meeting an eligible transexual woman. Perhaps I am being too naive or too romantic here but, I feel there is a place for it. I'm beginning to believe that frantic and compulsive attempts to (ostensibly) meet T-women may well be counter-productive. In fact, I'm not so sure that they might not be a form of self-sabotage and a sure way NOT to meet such a woman - or ANY woman. I'm wondering if it wouldn't be better to go to places or events where T-women are likely to be (after all, sometimes even serendipity needs a little coaxing) but to relax and let go of expectations. Ask someone to dance but don't expect her to fry you eggs the next morning. After all, that is how it usually works in the world.