Hank, you clearly have a lot of insight from your multitude of interactions. If only the rest of the world could be so well informed!
As to the word "she-male," I would avoid it if you are looking for a meaningful, long-term relationship. If you are going to an escort service or picking up a hooker off the street, that might be different. However, many transgendered individuals take offense to that word, as it has generally been promoted by the pornography industry. Ditto to the word "tranny." I don't know how terminology is viewed in non-American culture, as that is my only context to speak from.
And yes, emphasizing (without overdoing) the feminine side of one's partner is greatly appreciated. Most tgirls like many of the same luxuries and delights as GG's.