castration
you already know the answer if you have to ask the question.
my guess is you work with people who only want to control you, and anyone else they can. i worked with a control freak a couple of years ago. he was my boss in a restaurant, and when he offered me a higher job i turned him down. he reacted by beating me up and nearly killing me.
my advice is get out now. forget castration; forget the job. get out.
if, later down the line, you want certain things and want to do it on your own terms, then that's up to you - good luck. it's one of those big decisions in life that can wait until you are in a safe and non-manipulative environment.
until then, get out and be safe.
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