[quote=Bionca;119840]
I hate going out to bars for two reasons. 1) If I get hit on, it's hard for me to say "no". I know how hard it is to work up the gumption to ask someone out. So, I tend to at least have a conversation with any guy who isn't too pushy or creepy. 2) I absolutely hate telling guys I'm trans. There is never a good time to do it and you always risk as ass-beating doing so.
While I don't go out in drag, I think I can see where it would be a difficult thing to decide when you are going to "drop the bomb," and the inherent risks when you do. I think I would try to make it a strict policy never to tell a guy face-to-face unless I was damn sure it would be safe to do so. I would insist that any guy looking for a date would have to call me up on my cell phone (not a home phone where my address could be traced) and talk to me first. Then the subject could be broached safely in a non-confrontational way. Many guys who might be upset at first and violent as a result of the disclosure, would then have a chance to "cool down" and may not even get as mad as they would later on, or as they would if confronted while their sex drive is in "high gear."
If you are bar hopping and looking to get laid that night, then obviously that is a differant game. "Looking for Mr Goodbar" has always been a dangerous business for all women. Going with any stranger always has it's risks. All women need to develop rules for the game. Always be cautious of the guy who wants to meet you outside the bar, club, etc... If he doesn't want to be seen leaving with you....there may be a dark reason for it. And in the case of being a transgendered women I think it would be only prudent to always let the guy know as soon as possible before he has too much invested. I think it is kinda comparable to being married to a gigantic insanely jealous man or having AIDS - you owe the potential paramour a warning!
Isn't there some kind of trans - jewelry (pins) that are fairly well known? Are there not known transgender nightclubs or bars where the clientele is pretty savvy as what to expect? For that matter - are there not online dating services who will match you up with the "man of your dreams", the guy who has professed an interest in trans-women.
It just seems to me that there are many options to meet guys, who you know are interested in trans-women, safely without doing the bar scene. I see presenting yourself as a normal women as downright dangerous because you are buckin' the odds. It is a very high percentage of all men who are not going to be happy to find out you have a penis like them. Furthermore, it is very unlikely that you will find a guy who will fall so in love with you that he disregards the "differance." Right or wrong, those are the bald facts of our society and culture.
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