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Old 10-10-2009
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Default When and how to tell others?

For a little more than a month I have been a member of this forum, but my feelings for “tgirls” go back several years. Right now I’m trying to decide the best way to share my interest. I would one day like a long-term relationship or even marriage. But before I can do that, it is important to get “my own head on right” as I said in an earlier post.

After much consideration I am quite sure my own sexual orientation is “straight.” I have always admired beautiful women and for 15 years was married to a very beautiful woman. I have many male friends and have never been sexually attracted to any of them. Also, in college I had friends who were gay but was never attracted to them. Gay porn has never interested me nor do men in “straight” porn. When I look at someone like Kelly Shore, Camila Saenz, or Yeidi Collins, for example, I see a very beautiful and incredibly attractive woman. I consider the fact that they happen to have a penis to not make any difference--it is a part of who they are. I am very confident of my own sexuality and have come to accept these feelings for transwomen as a natural part of who I am.

One thing however, continues to bother me in reading through some of the posts elsewhere on this forum: I gather an underlying sense that a few members believe there is something shameful in being attracted to transwomen. As I said in an earlier post, even the phrase “admirer” troubles me somewhat--it sounds kind of like “loser” or “stalker” or worse. I have included some personal information about myself in my profile because, as I’ve said before, I don’t think “admiring” someone as beautiful as say, Kelly Shore, is anything to be ashamed of--and I sure as hell don’t think I qualify as a “loser” or “stalker.” Yes, that’s really me and I really do teach at a major university. I played football in college and still workout regularly. Among my “toys” are a 2007 Harley “Fatboy” and 2004 Corvette. I’m not sure I qualify as “wealthy” (divorces are costly) but I have a six-figure income and live a very good life. And I’ve never had any problem meeting women or getting dates.

From reading other people’s profiles and what they’ve written, I gather that there are many well educated and successful people on this forum. Seriously, I would be interested in knowing how you deal with your attraction--especially if you have ever dated or had a long-term relationship with a transwoman. Did you ever tell your family? How did it affect your friendships with others or your career? What kinds of problems (if any) did you run into when you went out? We have a “LGBT” organization on campus and I think most of my colleagues and students would be accepting--much as they are concerning gays and lesbians. I have three friends (two male, one female) that I think I could share with. I am waiting for an “icebreaker” such as the Cold Case “prom” episode from a few years ago or the CSI episode that featured Kate Walsh playing a transwoman. There is supposed to be a movie coming out soon starring Nicole Kidman as the “first male-to-female transsexual.” This could lead to friendly conversation which in turn could lead to…

If anyone has any advice or experience on how to tell others, I’d love to hear about it. Thanks!

Last edited by aw9725; 10-10-2009 at 05:30 PM.
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