Quote:
Originally Posted by GeForce
I kinda thought so. During our conversations, she kept slipping in references of sending money or buying her food etc. When I questioned it, she kinda changed the subject and shrugged it off. And today she actually laid an ultimatum on me "If you love me, you will send me something very nice....tomorrow". I think that was the ultimate sign of enlightenment for me. Her whole demeanor changed just that quickly. Maybe she realizes I'm growing more and more suspicious and realizes I'm not going to be as easy as she thought.
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Well first, GeForce, you mentioned that you met online, but HOW did you meet? Was it through a site like this and message boards...was it a dating site...was it a cam site or something else? I don't mean to pry and you don't even have to answer, but in it's own way that might be a bit reflective of whether or not this person is a game-player or not.
Also, in a post above you asked
"Do these girls from other countries (in this case Philippines) go to the farthest extents to get what they want?" Well, this answer won't please you -- it's yes. But that's
not a bad thing
either. LOL I know that sounds confusing and conflicting, so let me explain...
Keep in mind who you're dealing with and where they are. If you're dealing with someone in the Philippines, the truth is their life really could be utter crap. I'm talking just a piss-poor standard of living compared to what you or I might be accustomed to. Heck, you can't turn on the news and not be faced with how bad the American economy is. Well, it's even WORSE in countries like the Philippines and has been for years. So, if you're involved with someone living in a place like that, trust me -- the notion of finding someone who can offer them REAL love and REAL economic security...and course ideally a life together...goes hand in hand. They just see it in very black and white terms.
The truth is if you met online and she's in the Philippines, there's a good chance that she's heard it all before...all sorts of promises or talks of "I love you"...from other guys (either there or online) who have promised her the moon and then delivered nothing...which leaves her right back where she started, which was with nothing. So, it's all been a total waste of time to her, not to mention it's broken her heart quite a bit. She thought she finally found someone who really cared...who was really interested in helping her change her life...and now all her hopes are dashed. And there's no question that THAT creates an incredibly jaded attitude towards any and all guys who show an interest in you. So, faced with her real day-to-day realities of life and faced with the task of just trying to get by, that explains why she's suddenly developed a "put up or shut up" attitude towards you. She's worn out and tired of guys who SAY things to her, but never come through.
ON THE OTHER HAND...make no mistake, there are plenty of online con artists and people who WILL work you over long distance, simply because they KNOW they can do it since you ARE so far apart. In other words, it's not like you can just stop by her place and check on her -- or more to the point, stop by her place and catch her in the act of deceiving you. Tricking somebody online is obviously far easier than tricking somebody who lives in your same country or town. And these days -- sad to say -- many people realize that long distance, online love affairs are one of the easiest ways to trick someone out of money.
Quote:
Originally Posted by GeForce
She really put a lot of "work" and time into this scam (if that is indeed what it is). Frustrated  What do I do!?! I love the way she makes me feel, and I don't want to lose that IF she is true. But the reality of the whole situation is that we're worlds apart and the likelihood of us getting together is slim to none. She MUST realize that no? Awww crap! I'm such a mess! |
Well, here's two stories for you -- take your pick.
STORY ONE: I used to be close with a Philippino TS that I met online, someone who was beautiful beyond belief. And I'm not exaggerating about that. When it comes to TS and the infamous word "passable", that doesn't even come close to describing how jaw-dropping gorgeous she was. In fact, she made her living as a model until it was discovered she was a TS, which is when she lost her work (but that's another story). Anyway, we would chat online and trade email or turn on our cams for fun talks...basically, all was fine in the world...but then (just like you) I started getting instant leaps to "You treat me nicer than other guys and now I love you", which then instantly jumped to "If you REALLY cared about me, you'd send me rent money for this month." Which by the way was 200 bucks.
So, I would say, "Wait a minute. We're chat friends. And while I'm flattered that you want to escalate to a possible romance, why am I suddenly supposed to pay your rent?" And then she'd downgrade things...almost like she was working off a checklist, seeing who could pay for what...at which point she'd say "Okay, then you can pay my phone bill. Or my cable bill."
Of course, then I'd challenge her and say "Oh, so you love me? So you want to leave Manila and be with me?" -- at which point I'd get a runaround answer. Heck, one time just to challenge her more...to put her to a test because she was pestering me so much for money...I sent her all the information about obtaining a Visa to come visit me. I said "Here, fill these forms out and let's make plans to bring you to the U.S., so we can meet and see if real romance is in the air for us."
And gee, wouldn't you know it -- she never did. In fact, she couldn't even be bothered to READ the forms. And whenever I brought it up, she'd just get testy and instantly log off Yahoo (like slamming down the phone). Or in other chats she would slip up and mention she was dating a local boy now -- at which point I'd naturally say "So why isn't HE paying your bills?" And of course the underlying answer was that this guy was her REAL boyfriend, but being in the Philippines he didn't have a job and couldn't come up with any cash
either. So in truth, she was just looking for me to support her AND him long distance. But hey, I guess that's love!
And most laughably of all...I'm not kidding you, to this very day...my ex-friend will STILL pop up at the end of the month on Yahoo -- totally out of the blue -- and she'll say a few words and bat her eyelashes and talk all sweet and then INSTANTLY -- and I'm talking within mere sentences of starting up the chat -- it will all turn right back to "So why don't you send me some money? To prove you care?" I mean, to some degree I have to give her credit because at the very least she's really working it!
STORY TWO: I have another Filipino chat friend that I met online at a cam site. The first time I saw her I was just smiling from ear to ear since she had SUCH a pretty face. And she has a totally terrific personality too. Not long after, she quit her cam job feeling it just wasn't for her. But you know what? She still comes online all the time and says hello to me...doesn't think twice about turning on her cam to have a fun chat...and never once has asked for money, no matter what her situation (which I know isn't the best given the economy there). She's the real deal, through and through. So, unlike my other story, she helps to remind me that there ARE good, nice people out there. That not everyone is a con artist online.
So, here's the bottom line: the answer you're seeking is like any other romance you'd be in. So look yourself honestly in the mirror and ask some HONEST questions that you'd ask if she were right in front of you and NOT a long distance love affair. You have to go by
your heart and gut instincts, and you have to decide IF this person really cares about you OR if she's simply using the Internet and the advantage of the distance between you to work you over. I know it's a mess and it's a hard choice to make, but ask yourself: Is she REALLY acting like someone who's genuinely interested in me OR does she seem waaaaaaay too preoccupied with money? To the point that she's no longer asking questions about me or my life or how my day was...but instead is just asking over and over "when are you sending me something?"
If you can answer that, you're well on your way to an answer.