[xtothem]

There is reported to be a universal law of attraction, which in effect, literally brings those things you want, right to your doorstep, if need be. I must concede, that these manifestations do not always seem to be as expeditious as I like, in my personal experience, but I can't deny that they do in fact happen in their own time.

In lieu of a connection in the material realm, I would be inclined to encourage you to attempt to make connections with people of like mind, and of your preferred distinction by other means. In doing so, you stand to not only gain insight into the facets of the involved social interraction, which very likely defy convention, but you will simultaneously be actively engaged in utilizing the universal law of attraction, which could very likely result in the undermining of physical barriers and boundaries, such as geography.

While I concede that it's likely of little comfort, given that you've already been doing all you can to be patient, it's the best I can do. In regard to the other matter, the unwillingness to give an honest account as to why you are not interested in any of the females that have attempted to gain your interest, unless the consequences of being honest about it are more severe than the punishment you inflict upon yourself for not being honest, why not just be out with it? In the event that you somehow can't convince yourself to do so, I'm afraid you'll just have to continue to deal with the repercussions of secrecy, and the bottling up of pertinent information, which is unhealthy at best.

In any event, i'm new here, and probably don't have any real right to try and address your situation. But I am a man capable of forming opinions, and willing to put them forth, in spite of all the reasons I probably shouldn't. I hope your situation improves, at the very least, assume enough control to prevent it from deteriorating further.