Dennis,
I sometimes come across as being a bit harsh with guys in your situation. The reality is, it is hard to date a transwoman. You can double that if you are currently in a relationship with a non-trans woman.
Ultimately, you have to face the very same essential decision that each and every Trans*person faces. The decision to be authentic with one's self or not. Either decision has its good and bad points.
From my perspective, honesty breeds freedom. The saying "woman trapped in a man's body" is only partly true. It would be more correct for me to say that I was a woman living in a lie from birth through puberty trying to fool everyone (even myself). The moment I realized I wasn't a "feminine gay guy" was the first moment I truely could feel free. It had nothing to do with what I wore, or the length of my hair (shaved head and trying to grow a beard at that point). It was the first time I was honest with myself - it was only natural that I should be honest with everyone else in my life.
For guys, the situation is different, and both easier and harder. You have a choice - the easy part is you can hide it, visit a shemale prostitute, go home to the wife and kids and indulde with Internet porn. The hard part is, you have to make a choice - I didn't, that choice was already made for me so it made the process more clear.
Guys also are faced with the problem that someone could get hurt. If you are dating a trans and a non-trans woman at the same time, feelings are involved. It's a rare woman (trans or non-) who will be comfortable being a mistress (particularly if your relationship is based on emotion and not economics).
What you may decide to do, the key is to figure out what is really true for you. Like I said, honesty is freedom.
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