A man dies and ascends to heaven where's he met at the pearly gates by St. Peter.
St. Peter says "you've lived your life as an example for all Christians. You shared the gospel at every opportunity, you never cheated on your wife, you never drank one drop of alcohol, and you only had sex for the purpose of procreation."
The man beamed.
"However," St. Peter continued, "there's one little problem."
"Oh?" the man replied.
"You were non-denominational," St. Peter said. The man looked confused. "We try to keep the denominations separated. Keeps the fights and name calling to to a minimum," the saint added with a sly wink. "The problem is, we don't know where to put you."
The man paused for a moment. Then he asked "can I choose?"
St. Peter wrinkled his brow in thought. Finally he said, "sure. No harm in that, I suppose."
St. Peter opened the gates and in they walked. They stood in a long hallway, with rows of doors as far as the eye could see.
"This is heaven?" the man thought.
St. Peter opened the first door. Inside, people were rolling on the floor, making guttural sounds and thrashing about.
"Evangelicals" St. Peter said.
The man shook his head. "Thanks, but not my style."
They moved to the next door. When St. Peter opened it, every person in the room was crowded together under the door frame.
The man looked to St. Peter. "Jehovah's Witnesses?" he asked.
"Let's move on" St. Peter said with a smirk.
St. Peter reached for the next door knob, then suddenly jerked his hand back. He shot a quick glance to the man, then placed his finger over his lips.
"Shhh," he said, motioning the man to follow.
The man grabbed the sleeve of St. Peter's robes. "Wait a minute," he said with a head nod back towards the door.
St. Peter leaned in close and whispered.
"Southern Baptists. They think they're the only ones here."
