I don't want to get anybody in trouble saying it so let me know if it's allowed. I was raised in an orphanage, so you can guess I was with guys from an early age. I wasn't with females until I was 20. I've never been with a shemale, although it's all I dream about. I am bisexual and was a bottom from the time I was 20-30, off and on, and now only think about topping. But I'm 55 now... married, kids, the whole thing. honestly I feel such a dilemma about it all. I thought I could just walk away from this part of my life, but I can't. Now my greatest fear is doing something really stupid, and breaking up my home. I don't even have anyone I can talk to about this - my wife has become hardcore christian, even though we had our first dance in a gay club in denver. I now live in Phoenix, and have even struggled with thoughts of suicide over this stuff. I can't unmake who/what I am.
It sucks to be me
