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Old 07-25-2008
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Originally Posted by jimnaseum View Post
I think most people do just try to fit in and really don't understand anybody really. Howard Stern had Boy George on his radio show, and he was very frank about the gay lifestyle, which I don't understand either. Howard joked that to be gay in high school gym class must be like going to Disneyland, but Boy George said he hated gym class because he got beat up all the time. I imagine school must have been pretty crappy for you girls. It was crappy enough for me. And I kept as low a profile as I could.
If I've learned anything through my last three quite amazing years amongst trans-women as my girlfriends, lovers and dear friends, then it is that there is no one truth. So far they have all been either transvestites or pre-op transsexual women. I'm yet to meet let alone have a conversation with a post-op transwoman. Well, I may just have that unique chance this coming week where I'm going to Bangkok to meet a friend whose close friend is post-op.

But based on what I know, I'd say that it is NOT without a reason that getting full SRS is not the easiest thing. It is an operation you don't want to regret. Besides, being "dick-shy" can be worked upon. Maybe not for all, but most likely for a majority who is considering full SRS.

Transsexuality is such a personal issue that it probably doesn't make any sense to try to deduct any kind of generalization. I've met almost as many approaches to being transgendered as I have met transgendered women.

Acceptance is, how ever, a keyword... one thing is the lack of acceptance from friends and family (and society in general). That can be dealt with - for example relocation can be good in such a situation. Or finding a supportive boyfriend. How ever, lack of self-acceptance is more tricky - and I believe that no kind of "good-hearted" talk or any thing can truly matter in such (luckily rare) cases.

As my dearest friend and first trans-girlfriend once postulated: "In order to be a "succesful" trans, you MUST not only accept but, indeed, enjoy your masculinity..." That's her story, but it holds some truth. My personal belief is that if a trans-woman unhappy with her exterior could just learn to see herself in another light where her penis is no longer a symbol of masculinity, then a lot would be happier. Unfortunately so many still focus on what's between the legs rather than on what's between the ears... and in ones heart...

After this week I may be a wee bit wiser...
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