I've been going about it all wrong. I've been searching for a man who will "have me" when I should be looking for the lucky sap who will win me. Yes, I have my faults. Yes, I am a bit nuts. But when it comes right down to it, I'm a nice woman. I tend to treat people well - too well, in some cases. I have raised my persona pretty much by myself to help family, and even before that, I was pretty much on my own. My family are my greatest joy. I really love being a good hearted child to them.

I also loved being a lady. Unfortunately, the men I was with before didn't love being a boyfriend open to a ladyboy. Not in the way that I wanted them to be. Not in the way I was raised. Perhaps I watched too many old movies. Maybe I expected too much Cary Grant and ended up with Jim Carrey. I settled in the past when it came to men. I was more interested if they liked me than if I liked them. I had things backwards. Because, despite my faults, I finally have realized that I'm a woman worth having.

I've managed to turn a hobby into a living. Continuing to pay a mortgage and keep food on the table. At the age of 26 I changed careers and took the "road less traveled." I'm going to toot my own horn here because that took guts. I'm not saying I wasn't scared - I'm still scared. But I can do it.

Doing what you want to do gives you confidence. Making a living at it is such a rush that no drug on earth can possibly match. I floundered in the sea of love for such a long time without realizing that any many who gets me is lucky.

What does it take to win my heart? Jewelry? Money? No - that's not me. I've had jewelry (I sold it). I've had money (I spent it). Those are tangible items. Not worthy of attention.

A friend on my blog recently wrote to me that he was "old school" and felt it was necessary to open a door for a woman. Some goofy woman complained to him. That would never be me. Rule number one - open the door for me. It shows respect. It makes me feel like a lady.

Rule number two is to show an interest in my life. Learn something about me - anything. Ask about it. I like to talk about things. A lot. I'm a Scorpio - I love attention. For a man to win my heart, he has to give me some attention. Not 24/7 stalking attention - that's annoying and disturbing. But some attention.

Rule number three is he has to like sports. My father likes sports. I associate that with a man. I like a man who likes sports even if he flips through the channels constantly. I like guys who act like guys.

Rule number four is compliments. All woman like this - I'm not alone. "You look nice" is worth more than a dozen roses.

Rule number five is pursuit. A woman likes to feel wanted. This "give me a call" that I hear so often from men drives me nuts. This happens on first dates a lot. A guy will give you his number instead of vice versa. I don't like to feel like I'm chasing anyone - makes me feel like Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction.

Rule number six is don't treat me like some cheap prostitute. I'm not interested in phone sex, web cam sex or any other sex with strangers. Some things are still sacred to me and my body is one of them.

Rule number seven is don't lie to me. I hate liars. And I'm not that stupid. The truth can sometimes hurt, but anything is better than a lie.

Rule number eight is to ask me out on a date. It doesn't have to be ritzy. I am a jeans and sexy top girl. I like ice cream. I like walks. I like anything as long as I enjoy the company.

Rule number nine is don't play me. I hate players even more than liars and they go hand in hand. And I'm getting pretty good at spotting them. The men who come on too strong are the biggest players of all and it's so transparent that it's actually laughable.

Rule Number 10 is don't take my tears as a trophy. Remember that God counts a woman's tears. If I haven't hurt you, don't hurt me. It's not too much to ask.

Remember the old films when men would get up when a woman entered a room? I watch those movies all of the time. If ever a man does that for me, he'll win my heart for ever. I think this phase of manners is over, and it's a shame. Because that would do it for me. That would win my undying devotion.

And, yes, my undying devotion is worth striving for.

~~Princess Lydel~~