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My birthday present for this year. A Riddell "Speed” helmet for my office. Sorry, I passed on the “Purdue Penis.” My nieces also baked me a “Descendants 3” cake. And gave me this picture. Now, I’d just like to be 18 years younger… Although I’m still not old enough to be “Mal’s Dad.” Older "boyfriend" maybe?

(Useless Helmet Update: If you follow “American football” the controversy centers around certain players wanting to continue wearing their older “unapproved” models. The NFL has an “official” list. The model everyone wore for 25 years, including me, going all the way back to “little league” was the Riddell “VSR-4.” Tom Brady (maybe you’ve heard of him? ) got special permission to wear his during the playoffs and SuperBowl last year. It’s good to be Tom Brady . You can identify a VSR-4 from the rounded shape and back. Very “old school.” They might as well be “leather” by today’s standards. During the regular season Brady wore a Riddell “Speed Flex” like everyone else. Concussions are a serious issue. There’s no doubt helmets are much better designed nowadays. But they feel different. Which is why some “older” players don’t like them. Antonio Brown (Steelers, now Raiders) has been in the news lately, even threatening to retire if he cannot wear his 12 year old Schutt. My last year in college I wore a Riddell “Revolution” which is now at the very bottom of the approved list. )