[cannibal]

Wow, that story really got me... If your goal was to make me feel better, you really did it. Honestly. And I didn't find it "wayward" or "off the point" as you said. Thanks man.

Originally Posted by TheSkronkDonkey

I think that defines some of my own struggles. Maybe you and I aren't so different, cannibal. Intellectually, I am a full-blown liberal. I value independence and self-determination for everyone. But sexually, a strong, independent woman is quite a strange thing for me. And it's NOT because I'm an "Alpha Male" -- at least, I don't THINK I am. But maybe it's that that's causing it underneath.

No we aren't so different. I am a leader (I don't like the term "alpha male"). I always had some subconscious inclination to make people think like me and do what I want. I always gathered people around me. It's not intentional, as a matter of fact it bothers me (you might be a leader yourself, though you are unaware... so I learnt). At work I occupy a leadership position and my bosses favorite sport is to use me to get the workers doing what they want, though I'm just a bit older than you.

As for being liberal I am also like you. I think anything goes, but not when I am involved, because I'm not turned on by anything. As women stronger then me don't turn me on. I find that very natural, although some people would say it's related to my strong will and leadership attributes.

Originally Posted by TheSkronkDonkey

I would rather a mate be submissive and shy and need looking after. I cherish that vulnerability. That neediness. But maybe it's nothing more than a measure of how little I've matured in 25 years on this planet.

Or maybe it's the male protector instinct.

Originally Posted by TheSkronkDonkey

Maybe I still want a child-like partner to match my child-like emotional neediness? I don't know if we're quite along the same lines, but I do feel like I know where you're coming from. Kinda. Sorta.

We're coming from different places but the results might be similar. My attraction to fragility isn't actually emotional, it's more of a physical thing. I like women physically fragile: delicate traces, pale, thin. Emotionally I don't like them needy, as my own emotional needs are small. As a matter of fact I spend more time keeping people away. Honestly, my sex need is the one that is big. Although, I must admit, this "fragility fetish" has leaked a bit over the years into the emotions field, because I really enjoy those moments when they seem afraid to take decisions and ask me to do it. Isn't it cute?

Originally Posted by moonwalkermoon

Do what YOU feel you should do and that will enable you to be truly yourself. For your own life YOU are the measure of all things.

Originally Posted by TheSkronkDonkey

A debilitating weakness for one person might be a strength for someone else.

Originally Posted by TheSkronkDonkey

Don't punish yourself for your rare tastes and beliefs. Being an individual ROCKS! If you can handle it.

All right, I haven't mentioned the way I feel about myself in this thread yet, which I should have done already (excuse me). I don't really feel bad. Actually I was always proud of being different. I'm proud of my own concepts of masculinity and femininity, as in they provide a much clearer separation between the genders. The "boxes" that Bionca mentioned confer a lot of identity to each gender. Something I often see happening with regular straight couples is they being confused about their roles and their identities in the relationship.

But there is a very rational part of me that tells me it isn't actually the way to go, since women who want to have a penis in order to feel feminine don't seem to exist, or at least don't seem to assume that, what obviously leads to problems in my practical life. So this rational part of me tries to convert me into "normal standards", that dictate that penis is masculine and not feminine. The problem is I am already very sure of the feminine traits of the penis and it is hard to find the masculine ones.