It's a very valid question because it's rooted to some of our deepest brain architecture and social conditioning.
Guilt is a complex and vexing emotion or umbrella term for a set of emotions. It's an affective state that scientists believe sets us apart from other species of the animal kingdom.
For someone aged 18, based on what you said, I sense you're already surprisingly well into the trans phenomenom, which means you'll probably go far with it.
At the moment, though, you're just discovering a larger world. I can remember being 18. It feels like yesterday. I just turned 26. Guess I'm still a baby, then. Maybe an older and more experienced person like Hank should set this matter straight?
Do you ever imagine a proper relationship with a t-girl? How do non-sexual things feel in your imagination? What about sensual things? What, even, about simple things? Do you ever imagine just going to the shops with her, taking a walk in a park, holding her hand, going to the movies, pinching her nose and having fun?
If it's all sex-based, the shame is probably coming in the moment the sexual thrill recedes -- i.e. just after orgasm. It might be conducive to read some testimonies by people who have actually had or are in productive relationships with transgendered people. That might give you a better sense of "normality" from the perspective of people who are most comfortable with themselves.
If you're really uneasy about this feeling and wish you could simply enjoy t-girls without the guilt, you could also try acting out some simple situations, such as those mentioned above, in your head. What's it like? What's it really like? Does it feel weird? Less pleasurable than dating a girl? Something you couldn't be comfortable and love doing? You should definitely probe further, just to find out what other parts of your mind really feel.
Me? I'm loving it, though still on the look-out for a partner. I don't mind if it's girl or t-girl, provided the person is sweet and engaging (and can tolerate my curmudgeony ways
). I'll tell you what helped me: seeing these lovely creatures in my mind's eye as
tender and vulnerable, not guys with dicks (which they're not), not girls or some new category (either of which they really are, depending on how each individual sees themselves, but even that is somewhat superfluous), but actual people with sexy, retiring, fun-loving, feminine, take-care-of-me ways. That's a POWERFUL concept for ANY AND EVERY type of fantasy situation, sexual, non-sexual and everything in between.
Read more, talk more, listen more, believe more and ... ENJOY!
