for being able to abstain for three weeks!
Is your feeling of disgust due to the fact that you prefer to masturbate rather than have "normal" sex OR because you use tgirls as masturbation aids?
Identifying the real reason for your -ve feeling is pretty important if you hope to have a totally pleasurable experience.
My early experience with masturbating & (later) masturbating with tgirls was the same - feeling guilty, ashamed, etc. but now it doesn't bother me at all.
So just keep at it. Do it again & again & again & .... Eventually your -ve feelings will disappear & you'll experience only happy times.