Nice to meet you. This looks like a pretty interesting place to say the least! I put some information about myself in my profile if you (or anyone else for that matter) are interested in learning a little about my background. As you have already read my earlier post, you know my own feelings regarding transgendered women. If you are curious who, specifically, I find attractive, go check out the pictures I have posted! On a more serious note: Even though my career is in higher education, which typically has been tolerant of diverse views and lifestyles, I feel that I can’t reveal too much about myself for reasons of job security. Someone else posted that the “TG/TS” lifestyle is still considered taboo for many and doesn’t get the respect/recognition that even the “gay/lesbian” community receives. Here in the good old “heart of the USA” that is sadly and most likely true.

Without writing a dissertation on it, I believe it has much to do with fear and misunderstanding and perhaps the presence of stereotypes. From my own perspective, I had never thought much about this until recently. In college, I became friends with several gay and lesbian students. I was married and never felt any sexual attraction toward my gay friends or any desire to “fool around.” I did, however, feel close to them--I have always been kind of a “big brother” to my friends anyway and I used to feel very protective of them--I knew the kinds of things they had to put up with and how hard it was to live that way. I am sick every time I hear about some “hate crime” or murder of a gay, lesbian, or transgendered individual. I remember watching the “Cold Case” episode mentioned in my earlier post with my (now ex) wife. We agreed that something like gender identity shouldn’t matter and how stupid and ignorant people shouldn’t rule what one can or cannot do. I personally would have liked to have kicked the father’s ass (but that is another story).

Anyway, what does one do about ignorance and stupidity? As an educator, I believe that information has power and over time, people can (and do) change. Sometimes, change comes slowly. Sometimes, you have to keep reinforcing the point. I used to teach a class in “project management” where we discussed ways to take the fear out of implementing a new computer system. One of the techniques was to get the employees who actually USED the system involved--to seek their ideas and make them feel that they were actively a part of the “change.” How many times do organizations actually DO it that way though? I think that the “transgendered” lifestyle will take some time to be accepted but there are already TV shows about it and people like Kelly Shore and Vicki Richter have been very outspoken advocates and probably quite effective in helping it to gain acceptance. Others will follow. This forum--and others like it--can serve to communicate as well.

As for how to handle people sticking their nose in other people’s business--the phrase “Fuck Off” comes to mind but you won’t find that in most textbooks. In my professional career, I typically recommend that organizations have policies regarding disclosure of information--and encourage them to be as “open” as possible with employees. For more personal matters--I advocate a combination of incomplete answers and “disinformation.” The old “I am not at liberty to disclose that” or a less diplomatic “it’s none of your business” can work as well. Not everyone or every question deserves an answer. This is the place where I tell my students to “think for themselves”!

Anyway, hope some of this helps to answer your questions and I look forward to talking more with you and others on here. This has been a most interesting Labor Day break! Tomorrow I take the bike out if it doesn’t rain and Wednesday it’s back to class.

BTW I LOVED your definition of “Quartersexual” from an earlier post!

Later...