Introduction and Request for Advice
 

My name is Tabitha. I'm a bisexual and a casual crossdresser. A few weeks ago I found this forum and have been amazed by the level of comfortability it instantly gave me and is helping me to understand this side of me. Unfortunately this new-found comfort level has made me more adventurous to the point where I'm scared.

I need advice because I'm married. I love my wife deeply, but she is not aware of my secret. She knows that I'm bisexual, but that's it. As I get more and more comfortable with this side of me, I feel like I owe it to her to tell her. Like all of you that are open with your situation (couldn't find a better word), I'm terrified that this will end our marriage.

I don't want to lose her, especially because crossdressing is only a part-time, largely sexual thing for me. I only have homosexual feelings when I'm in "Tabitha" mode.

So the question is: do I put away the panties and just occasionally enjoy my tranny porn, or do I find some way to tell the wife where she won't lose it? And if I'm going to tell her, how do I go about it?

If you don't want to share here, but would rather talk privately, PM me for my online contact info. Thanks in advance for the advice!

Stages
 

TAB:

How about doing it in steps to gage the reaction?

I would try a role reversal during intimacy, where she takes the dom role. That way you could wear lipstick and perfume or more.

Step 2 could be a strap on.


TAL

Getting her to try a dom role should be interesting, she's incredibly submissive. Sexually, I have no idea how we ended up together. Maybe I can set it up where I'm in charge, but making her take on the dom role.

Then again, that could be crossing the streams too much.

Really, of all the people on this forum, only one person has any advice for me? I could really use some help figuring this out.

I've realized it's either her tell her or give up the lifestyle completely. If I'm going to tell her, how should I do it? Please help before I do something royally stupid!

Just be honest with her and re-assure her that it doesn't change anything, and that you still love her. Even if it freaks her out at first, if she loves you she will eventually come round and accept it. Who knows, she might even begin to enjoy it.

I'm not much good at giving advice
 

but I would say that you need to have a good think about how you really feel before you decide to tell her anything. Is it just a phase or do you really need to express this part of yourself? Is it something you can introduce into your existing sex life or do you feel that you'll have to go elsewhere? As you point out it may very well end your marriage - is that what you really want?

I'm probably not helping as I'm sure you've already thought about all of this, but if it's just a fetish thing then it's up to you how much importance you want to give it. If it's the only way you can get off sexually now then you probably will have to tell her eventually.