I'm slightly worried about the emerging tone here
 

This forum has miraculously survived and even developed in a quite frank spirit with generally good-natured postings. And it has done so in spite of the fact that there seems to be two completely separate discussions going on. One about "who has the biggest she-dick", another about more substantial matters - wonderful.

That is not only unique (I've never witnessed another forum like this - and trust me, I know a few :-), it's also important for the brand of this forum. We appear to be able to co-exist in happy recognition of each other - despite our differences.

Lately, however, I think the tone among certain posters is becoming increasingly hostile. That must be avoided as that is the root of any forum's inevitable downfall.

Something quite unique has been created here solely by the intelligent contributors, and I hope this can remain an open-minded forum for broad-minded discussions among folks who may view things differently but who still have the intention of being nice and even the sense to back down when hostility emerges.

We don't really need a forum that is at war.

Think about it everybody!

Peace!

HankyPanky

You'll get over it, right? Don't take it too seriously.

^^^ is what I've been told about it.

hankhavelock I totally agree with you. When I joined the forum not long ago, I was very happy with it, I was visiting and reading and sometimes replying when I felt like it. As you said, "some posters are becoming hostile" and this is the last thing we need on this forum.

For me I come to this forum to relax and have fun, not to get pissed off by some replies. I think this will make some of us stop coming here. When I won't feel relaxed and happy here surely I will not be visiting often or not visiting at all. I know one person can't do a lot on the forum, that's why I suggest giving some users moderator privilage so they can edit or delete any offensive posts. If a poster keep on being hostile we can just ban him/her. I think this is the only way to keep this forum as friendly as possible. That's my opinion afterall.

Ouch... seems I hit a homerun here... Smolderingtemptress, you're actually one of the negative posters that I refer to - not in name but since you so speedily jumps out by yourself then let's indeed bring it on.

You've been here for a little more than a month, and already you've posted 60 messages and not so few with an aggressive tone and a hostile content.

As I believe you said yourself in another posting which you gutsily refer to now: "...and I don't appreciate it"

Personally, I have a broad back and can take a beating or five, but the fact is that other posters will feel turned off by the haters taking over, and that will make an otherwise good forum go down. Because they just disappear. And suddenly it's all hell, yet another forum taken over by the nasties with their sinister agenda.

Is that what you want? Is that your reason to be here?

Personally, I'm here to share thoughts and experiences about a subject that, my goodness, needs all the positive charisma it can possibly get. Enough people out there are laughing their asses off over all us pathetic freaks, so maybe it would be prudent to hold a bit back on the temper, count to ten and then post in a more reasonable way so that we at least can keep tone among ourselves.

In the end, we're here to enjoy, not to hate.

Peace!

H

I've added plenty to the discussion of TS issues. Or would reading those end up making you point a finger at an escort you support instead? Notice I have been followed in thread after thread by an angry prostitute. Nothing happened when I joined until I voiced my opinion on the issue of hooking, and now everyone is up in arms.

What's wrong with using your own words?

I'm fully aware you are not solely guilty in this unfortunate mess. However, I wrote a general appeal, not one with specific names in it.

Do indeed use your own words, but use them prudently. As soon as you get drawn into a verbal fight it just escalates. Step back and leave the aggressiveness to others. If not it all ends up in chaos.

Look, I made a point. It's not really up for discussion - merely my personal view about how to interact on a forum. If you disagree, be my guest.

I'm not here to also start a fight with you.

So PEACE, baby!

H

Well, if you make a thread about it, it kind of is up for discussion... but at any rate....

I actually joined because I had read some posts of yours, Hank, and figured you to be a knowledgable guy and understanding as to what TS are about. But since you felt the need to call me out, perhaps I was mistaken.

Peace indeed.

CURSES !! ; ( VERY DRAMATIC...

I didn't call you out... you did yourself in such a way that you left me no option but to react. Besides, I fail to see what this particular discussion, we're having here, has to do with my knowledge or the opposite of transsexuality. So far you and I have never discussed transsexuality here as far as I remember.

Maybe we should try? Especially if it could keep your feisty mind a bit off all the fights you otherwise could get into ;-)

Loosen up a little bit here, lady :-) We're here to enjoy ourselves. Not to make it into a tormenting tour-de-pain.

H

I just think it's amusing how one minute people are acting serious and then the next minute saying to lighten up.

Hankhavelock is right, I too have noted some aggressiveness in these forums.

In the past I have seen forums shut down, and have left forums because of aggressiveness of its members. I certainly don't want that here.

This is not to say we shouldn't disagree if we find a post disagreeable. Civility is the key word here. No need to be aggressive about it. Life is too short.

There Is No Problem
 

HANK,

The Grand Shemale Sex Lover has the banned option for any or all combatants B4 the forum would perish. He sees what's going on, but his last post was 2 weeks ago.

He is still around, isn't he?

TAL

Hank,

I'm glad you posted this. I absolutely HATE tranny drama. I hate gals snipping eachother for how they look, how they earn a living, who is "more trans" than the other - it's fucking spiteful, stupid, and sickening and I won't be posting here for some time because it just can't stand it. How can guys give us basic respect when dating us when we can't give someone who SHOULD "get it" even a little bit of respect.

One thing that I feel should be mentioned, and probably better in the more appropriate thread is Trans calling eachother "guys" which then progresses into calling eachother "fags". First, nothing wrong with being a gay guy, I was out and proud while I was incorrectly living as a gay guy - I got my ass beat and I was still proud - no compromise no shame. EXACTLY as I live my life now. All is shows is a level of ignorant homophobia and ultimately slef-hate.

Anyway - I just thought I'd swing by and kick some reality on last time for a while...:respect:

I don't often read, in depth, the forum threads. Main reason is those who claim to be "experts" have never lived this life. From that point the whole topic multiplies into a thousand different directions, each poster thinking they have the total picture.
Not all TS have been down every road in life, but some on here are willing to give of their time to chat and straighten out many of the wrongs that seem to show up in the minds of these "know-it-all" A**-holes.

Now, look what you have done, you two!:frown: I sympathise wholeheartedly with you, Bionca, but please don't go. Your sincere well balanced comments would definitely be missed here!:respect:

I used to like the absence of such pissing contests here as opposed to other forums. Please keep your insults to yourselves and prove that you're the smartest of the bunch.

Bionca, please don't be chased away by this. I really like your smart, funny and heartfelt observations.

All happy families are the same, all unhappy familys are different. Trust me, this family here is different.
When I was growing up I knew two guys who turned out to be gay, and they were pretty weird even before puberty. But we were classmates and went through alot so in a world of parents, teachers, girls, bullies, big kids, weirdness was not such a big deal, we were pals, I dropped my first acid with one guy, and the other was in my teenage garage band. The guy who turned me on to acid, he didn't really hide that he was bi-sexual, but we just didn't really press it, when it came to sex in high school, EVERYBODY was in new territory. The other guy, he hid it, and we didn't really know he was gay til the long distance calls when I found his AIDS obituary.
I have been on a disability retirement for 13 years now, when it comes to sex lives, there are no normal sex lives, and the most sex fun I had in my life came with serious baggage, humiliations, stupidity, missed opportunities, weirdness. Even if I got my health back, I'm not sure I would go through all the crap I used to go through trying to get laid. In other words, I don't want to be a drunk again.
So I'm an outsider looking in, and the fights don't bother me so much, I don't have a dog in that fight. I pretty much like everybody here, only the Republicans can make me mad.
I don't have a sure-fire guaranteed way to make this a great site, it's up to the posters to decide on how much they want to give this site, and if it becomes too popular it'll get ruined, I think Conan does a pretty good job of reffing this site. I like it.

Hi, I totally understand and agree with a lot of the points made here and totally the original point.
I wish to openely state that I am both concurrently. ie I at sometimes find myself totally in love and empathetic with every human being inc every walk of life which inc tgirls.
Yet sometimes I want every thing, male, female, or anything to bow down in front of me and act like a 2 bit whore regardless of whether its my wife, or fuck buddy (of any sex), or internet chat buddy.
What I am trying to say is, men can be the greatest most compasionate people and also the dirtiest most evil cunts possible!
I am a man, just telling it like it is, I wouldnt read into any violent or derogortary remarks its just terosterone spilling out, however i would agree that maybe a seperate area should be allocated to such talk.
At the end of the day, male aggression will always be there, isnt it better to be in a contyrolled environment than anywhere else.
PS not forgiving any actual violent behaviour.

i agree hank, and i would also like to add that recently we've had a sudden surge of members joining, which is great, but they speak about transsexuals/shemales/tgirls/whatever you want to call them with a very derogetory attitude. they treat them as an object or some sexual hurdle they need to overcome just once in their life so they can say 'i had sex with a shemale'. they aren't toys people, they are real, living human beings and have feelings and emotions like the rest of us, and i can guarentee that they have had MUCH worse life experiences than you or i, because they have had to deal with so much hate and hostility towards them simply because they are who they are. put yourself in their shoes. say you were born as a masculine hairy man, and tried all your life so hard to be a girl, and you are willing to sacrifice every penny, every moment of your life, even (in the case of most shemale escorts) your own dignity to sleep with whoever had the money, just so you can get that little bit closer to being who you are on the inside, then you come to a forum like this to try and chat to some people who WON'T judge you or hate you for who you are, and find a bunch of jerk offs saying 'i am looking for a shemale for sex' or some crap of the like? would YOU feel safe? would you feel flattered? no. you would be disgusted and afraid that no matter how hard you struggle you will NEVER fit in or be accepted, which is untrue, but fear rules our minds. so be more FUCKING respectful you shit head pigs cos i am SICK and TIRED of coming on here to view thread updates and reading the degrading shit spewing from your mouths constantly. grow the fuck up and learn some respect.


P.S. lol @ hanky panky :P

Peace
 

hmm true..and i think everyone has the right to state their opinion..but they need not fight to make it right or wrong..as its just an opinion..and if right or wrong depends on which side u stand..so just make a statement and leave it at that..no need to argue about anything..its not a contest .. in here.. n u just live a limited years before we all become dust..so just accept this beautiful life as it is and live and let live..

:respect:

Well this really helps. And if you were trying to be sarcastic it didn't come off that way.

if i was being sarcastic there wouldn't be any confusion in the matter. i was being 100% serious

I was being sarcastic and in hindsight I shouldn't have. It didn't come off that way and certainly doesn't enhance the topic or my character.

I should have written:
How does calling people names and being derogatory and condescending to others improve the tone of the site?

Hmmm... slightly overreacted and a bit beside my point in this thread, really (but you still may have a point, though).

I was merely asking posters to stop yelling and throwing mud at each other...

Well its the internet, and well how should i put it... drama drama drama.
I know I am new here, but being a member of alot of different forums and websites, you always get this crap. thats why its best for the admins and mods to stay a little detacted from members. Also people shouldnt get so worked up over a comment some person made about you on the internet.
Like there are people in this world who will take something the wrong way, and they will be pissed off for the entire day, all over something a 12 yr old in basement somewhere in mexico said on a forum to them.
Life is too short, so if someone pisses you off, just say it to them, not in some massive rant. They may not have realsied they annoyed you, but give them the chance to apologise, or else just move on with your life.

i agree with you a great deal. i love posting my opinions and things and i even like when people post theres evn if it may be different. we dont have to worry about scrutiny of the world and we could express our great love for some of the sexiness human beings in the world. when need discussions not war.

I am somewhat concerned that the girls here are being judged by their TRAGIC beauty, like Marilyn Monroe, or little girl lost.
The Proposition on Gay Marriage in California was voted down by Blacks, 70%. I think that means on the SOCIAL STEP-LADDER that gays are way down near druggies and career criminals, and "shemales".....jeez, I don't know where they are rated.
I think there is a side of life here that isn't discussed too much, like being handed a Joker in the cards that are dealt, and I think Beauty is only skin deep, and there's lots of issues that maybe should be talked about and maybe shouldn't be talked about.

thats a bit harsh..

If living well is the best revenge,
then living blitzkrieg is living swell.

that sucks
 

Thats not fair Melissa, less posters is bad for us all. Anyway, Im not taking sides but just hope you girls can become allies. Rgds

The thing about allies is that it implies that there are enemies. I mean, come on, there's an ignore function and you shouldn't be worked up but some idiot. Everyone can see who the troll is, but you look just as bad when you respond to that one person. Just ignore them and they might not go away, but at least they're wasting their time and you won't have to deal with that.

I know this isn't a democracy and that not everyone has the right to post because it's not public property, but within the limits, everyone has a right to post, and you have a right to not read it.

No, but I do.

And if you (and others) see this as your personal playground for hate messages, then I can promise you that I'll do every thing I can to get you guys banned from here. Because then your value changes into a nasty liability.

So far most people have felt secure to post here. I'll be damned if some militant forum-crashers should be allowed to ruin that.

Apparently you cannot take a nice hint, Melissa. Apparently, you have to pursue it to the end.

Try to be nice instead of an ass hole - and being a transsexual does NOT give you special credit here. You're here on equal terms with everybody else, lady.

Peace

Hank

melissa
 

Back off Hank. I suggest you read Melissa's life story on her website.
She is one tough lady. Granted, she is very feisty but that makes the thread more interesting. Also, I though a lot of members here like ass holes.;):lol::turnon:

That can be taken as rather threatening. Let's keep the tone more civil.

Sorry, It was not intended to be threatening. I just don't think Hank should call Melissa an asshole.:respect:

You're right. No one on this site should be called an asshole or any other names.

everyone needs no chill the fuck out. its only a forum.

We're chilled, brutha ;-) Just asking a few others to chill da same way! Either they get it or not. If not... uuuuuuuuuuuu... ;-)

Peace and FUNK for ever!

H

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CslkV...eature=related

why am i getting jive talked.

A lot of members need to calm down a little, its getting out of hand now.
Lets stop the bickering, please!

made my day
 

A priceless answer Randolph....made me chuckle :D Anyway we need answers like this to prevent the thread getting too serious. Rgds

Yes, a good answer :-) However, better we discuss it here in earnest instead of letting it getting out of hand in other threads. This forum has been quite unique in its lack of for ever ongoing fights and hazzles. That's why it's a good idea to bring it up and face it when it occurs.

But hopefully this has helped a bit so that we can get back to business as always :-)

H

yeah i'm a member of a few other forums and some of the hatred and spats
i've seen, once it starts it rapidly gets out of hand and people start to leave,
and what you've got left is a few saddos arguing with fresh air.

The point, period.

ok i'm one of the oldest (joined sense) members here and for a year it was fine and mellow. it is only in the last few weeks/months i'd say after this whole membership boom this tone got really nasty and i'm wondering where and who it started with coz how the hell does one year of calm get nearly destroyed by some negative posts. I find this all funny and a bit stupid coz in this year of posting my tone on most matters hasn't changed one bit. i just think people need to take a step back and think about things before they act and leave all grudges with the login page y'know.

Much love
sweet:respect:

Hello all,
Nice to meet some of you :cool:
About me: for now I'll suffice to say I joined this board because I glimpsed some intelligence and a little substance to some of these posts, but...

As my first order of business I would like to commend Hank for his intelligence and level-headedness throughout with the omission of a light infraction I noted, whether it was merited or not. Your attempt to transcend the pettiness and uncivilized manner of some brash individuals is encouraging for me and part of the reason I joined.

Let's see... first impressions on a new board. Well I have plenty to say after perusing this entire thread which is quite odd for (perusing, I always have a lot to say). Despite all I do have to say I instead choose to withhold much of it for I can (quite easily) tell that it would incite the irascible and irrational members of this board, and I do not intend to initiate any vendettas. I found the intelligent responses to a parasitic conundrum quite refreshing and rather compelling and felt the urge to continue. Of course (go figure) the hope I initially held for the constituents of this corner of the virtual world quickly faded as I sifted through blatant hypocrisy, misdirected anger, prepubescent name calling, disrespect, a plea for pity on behalf of another, and racism - which is quite disturbing seeing as how we're all in the minority here - among others. On that note I'll point out the intelligent and respectful comment by Bionca.

Peace is nothing more than an ideal as it is against the basic driving characteristics of humans beings. Hate begets not equal hate, but abhorrence, and loathing in an attempt by each combatant to one-up each other until the outbreak of violence destroys the lives of them and their families leaving gashes which spew forth more vile vitriol from their survivors in a never ending cycle. He/she who hates more wins is the idea.

These tendencies are amplified by the safety net people have when they're on the internet. They feel they can say whatever they want whenever they want without the slightest consequence. Not wishing to draw the ire of the moderating team, but I feel this is compounded by the fact that many moderators refuse to enforce forum policies on most boards and also set out to harass and incite members by being overtly rude and disrespectful for absolutely no reason at all. I've seen members of forums warned/banned for things not against the rules while those breaking the rules we encouraged by that mod. I've seen an admin attack a board member and ban him because he was in a bad mood. Abuse of power.

Signature style, rambling on and getting off topic - my apologies - so I'll try and wrap this up. I always look at both sides of an argument and normally there is no answer. The grass is never greener. People get upset, and that's understandable. But why? If an ignorant individual makes an unjust attack on your character, try and see where they are coming from. I would attempt to educate them. I might ask "why would you attack me? What basis do you have for those assumptions or allegations?" If they insist on instigating a situation I would be an adult and appeal to a mod. I don't know how it works here but I would hope they would assist in defusing the problem. Causing more trouble does nothing but make two people look ignorant and childish and both be mad because of something that has no bearing in their life. Everybody here has something in common, but choose to focus on what they don't.

In tying this together I'll use my first and only explicit reference to a post. Someone expressed their disdain with guys making comments like "I want shemale sex!!!" Now neither you nor I came into this world with the knowledge we have now. All these poor saps have to go on is the porn industry and it has shaped their views on transsexual woman more commonly referred to as shemales just like the media shapes the minds of the majority whether they believe it does or not. With the minimal knowledge they possess on the subject they could not begin to understand the the complex issues of gender identity and why transsexuals are not gay and that transsexualism is not a choice et cetera. Some don't want to know and there is nothing you can do.
We as the most intelligent species should act intelligently. There will never be peace. There will always be those who purposefully or unintentionally cause a dispute. It would be wiser to rise above it and direct your energies into a positive endeavor. I would guess many members here have enough troubles in there life that they would refrain from burdening themselves with more online. Lastly people are less inclined to cause problem online if there's some type of order in place like in real life. "I don't want to go to jail" "I don't want to go to hell" "Don't want a criminal record." The online world needs a similar policing factor like everything though less corrupt. Rules should be enforced, violators should be reprimanded.
I intended for this to be around two paragraphs, and less of a disjointed ramble. Oh well.