Why don't you already have a transsexual girlfriend?
 

There is much talk about the troubles of having a trans-gf here at this forum. So why not take it up in a thread?

My point is and remains: No, there are NO troubles! Not as long as you are committed and from the start decide not to let family, priests and a metaphorical George Bush stand in your way of doing the right thing.

Just do it! How hard can it be?

Trust me, I know, because I've done it and I'm doing it and I will never stop doing it.

So what's actually and really and truly holding you back, guys?

And are these things holding you back more important than what you really wish in your lives?

H

where I live

finding them is like finding aliens or sasquach or the Loch Ness Monster

especially passable gurls

The absolute lack of transsexuals where i live.

Transsexual girlfriend
 

Good point!

I have many Ladyboy friends as well as a steady bisexual gg friend that travels with me to the Philippines for some really fantastic adventures. All the fantasies I (we) have ever had have been fulfilled in the past few years that we have been going there.

As per Hank's post just go ahead and do it rather than dreaming about it. As soon as you have your first experience you will start planning your second one. I know and wonder why I wasted all those years doing nothing about it before I took the big step.

I myself live in London and have made friends with quite a few tgirls. Sadly getting to the relationship stage has been very difficult. I almost lead 2 lives which I'm getting sick of. It's only a matter of time before i confess all to friends and family. They know of my foot fetish but saying i like tgirls maybe a bit much, but then in order for me to be truly happy i must tell everyone so i can move into this area which I love so much.

:respect:

Out of the closet and get ahead in your life, my man! Nobody really thanks you not to!

Best wishes!

H

need one
 

they are impossible to meet unless you pay them!
All i want is a steady girl
I love what you are showing and you know it would fit nicely in my mouth.:turnon::kiss::coupling::hug:

What an insult!

But I do have a beautiful, wonderful, intelligent girlfriend with whom I'm very much in love.

There are many transwomen that are members here that are in relationships for love(or friendship) and not for money, so to say that it is impossible to meet any unless you pay is not true at all!:eek:

And they are far more than just a piece of flesh to fit in your mouth. To be frank, that could be the real reason you are finding it so difficult to find a transwoman that wants to be with you.:confused:

Let's see - I don't "meet" people for money. I also don't wear a sign around my neck stating my status - so people who I encounter going through my day probably don't realize that I'm trans.

It can be difficult since most guys who are into trans women want us to be 100% undetectable, but that limits their awareness of us in everyday life.

Being trans is not cheep - so obviously, some gals are going to charge for their time (particularly with guys who are married and won't be able to provide anything really serious).

I have a ladyboy girlfriend in Bangkok and when I met her it felt like the most natural thing in the world to be with her. I went to cinemas, restaurants, temples, etc with her and it just felt right.

Her being 'passable' was not a criterion. We wanted to be together and that was the criterion.

Cham

Cosmic scale irony.



I would be eternally grateful to whatever generous soul pointed me in the right direction, given the utter dearth of of any kind of transsexual community in Puerto Rico.

Because many of us are already happily attached? :rolleyes:

Do not under any circumstances dated a recent transitioner.
They will do your fuckin' head in.

If you want to go out with them, first ask this:
"How long ago did you transition?"
Anything less than three years, walk away.
Seriously, just walk away.

My other partner, a man, says this:

It's a strange thing to want to do, date a class of person,
rather than to want to date a particular person:
ie.
"I want to date a random transsexual transsexual person"
vs.
"I want to date Janet, who happens to be a transsexual person"

love
 

i didn't understand what do u mean by this

Because seeking a tgirl out soley because she's transgendered doesn't sit right with me. That kind of seems just as bad as seeking them out soley for sex. I want to fall in love with a person, not who the person is. If I like someone enough, it won't matter if they're a genetic or a tgirl.

I didn't seek out my girl because she is trans. We met (right here on this site) and I was attracted to her for who she is. And now I'm in love with her and I couldn't be happier.:inlove::inlove:

I dont know any tg girls from the north east of england and plus i like them for who they are and not what gender :)

It would have been nice to meet someone from this site as ila did but my fortunes would take me in another direction. I recently became engaged to a beautiful cis woman I met last summer. We will be getting married March 5th. She knows of my trans friends and supports my activities in LGBT rights, Stopping the Hate, my university?s Advocacy group, and other things. She even knows who Kelly Shore is! I suspect you will see me around here for a while. :cool:

CONGRATULATIONS aw9725 ! Best Wishes!

As with any relationship I think it's mainly who you are fortunate enough to meet in life and then be compatible with ... be it transsexual or genetic. I've had both ... and they boiled down to two people who cared for/loved one another, and wanted to share life's joys and tribulations together.

Depending on where you live it is probably much more difficult to find a transsexual girlfriend just based on a smaller percentage of the population. But with the Internet even that's not impossible for anyone anywhere these days. Compatibility ... well that's another story as to whether you hit it off with that person... personality wise and of course sexuality wise too. Good luck finding that beautiful, wonderful mate!!!

I have a transexual girlfriend, but only in my dreams !! :):blush:

Jon

Ila,

I really like your post.
It is the friendship, respect, commitment and you both have to each other that make a relationship/partnership last. That is what brings love.

Normally at the beginning, people mix up being "In Lust", for being "In Love".

Jon :)

And I'm so privileged to be that girl your talking about. I couldn't agree more with you, honey, we love each other for who we are. Love you:inlove::inlove::inlove::kiss:

And I love you too, sweetheart. :inlove::inlove::kiss::heart:

That's exactly how I met my man.
And what you say above could have come right out of his mouth.
Having a man who wants us for who we are rather than 'that thing about us'
counts for everything.

Quote:
Originally Posted by JodieTs View Post
Do not under any circumstances dated a recent transitioner.
They will do your fuckin' head in.

If you want to go out with them, first ask this:
"How long ago did you transition?"
Anything less than three years, walk away.
Seriously, just walk away.
Oh early transition, we have so many issues to work through
that it overspills into any relationship.

My man just asked how long I'd transitioned when we first met...
A. 2 years 9 months....:innocent:
{well he is very tolerant}

Between the fact that Michigan is full of 'midwestern values' and bigots in Detroit, and the that I can't find any of the over here....and the only ones in my neck of the woods look exactly like John Goodman and Graham Chapman in dresses :turnoff: .....it's hard to find that perfect someone where I am. :broken:

The Michigan is simply NOT like either New York or California. :(

Everybody kinda has a type. Maybe 75% of the girls you've dated have big tits. Maybe you've dated several black girls. But when you overly fixate on a type it gets a little creepy. There's a small-ish bar in Phoenix where the trans girls outnumber the genetic girls. Sure, in your average bar guys are just trying to get laid most of the time, but in a tranny meat-market you'll often run into guys who are totally unapologetic about being married and just wanting you to come back to their hotel room while they're in town on business without even getting you a drink.

In the average bar, at least 95% of guys who start a conversation with me are totally friendly, get me a drink, are fine just talking for awhlie, and will maybe try to give me their number or say they'd like to go out to dinner or a movie or whatever sometime.

In the average TS-leaning bar (or a gay bar where I'm hanging out with the TG crowd), I'll run into TS people or gay guys who are totally friendly, but when it comes to guys looking to hook up, they're fucking ridiculous. 95% of them would never even entertain the idea of being seen in public in daylight with the tranny they're trying to fuck.

So many people here claim they want a relationship with a TS girl, but are they really being honest with themselves?

Like Bionca was saying, they want 100% passable girls, but how's that supposed to work? You want TS girls to walk around with signs saying they have a penis, but then once you meet them you want them to burn the sign and never tell anybody?

This all makes me wonder how much of a relationship they really want if they're so hung-up on passability. I don't think it's about them equating passability with attractiveness. I think it's because they're in the closet and they never want anybody to know they've got a bit of a cock fixation.

If you're in the closet, you have no room to complain if the only kind of tranny you can get is a middle-aged crossdresser who is also in the closet about your encounter.

I'm not the hottest girl in the world, but I'm OK, and I get hit on. I don't really get read much, and when I do I think it's more about me being 6'0". Compared to the local TG crowd, I'm doing pretty well. I think there are a lot of guys looking for TS girls and I do kinda catch their eye being tall. It often seems like the guys trying the hardest to pick me up have a little bit of a clue.

But the guys trying the hardest to pick me up would really be better off looking through shemale escort listings. They're thinking I'm probably trans, and that little thing they picked up on that makes them think I have a penis means they're going to want me to be their dirty little secret because they're afraid their friends and family might figure it out, too, if I met them.

And this is the way people here feel, too, for the most part, or they wouldn't make such a big deal about passability.

If you really do have respect for TS girls, then it shouldn't be hard to get a little involved with the local TS community. I lived in Dayton, Ohio for 7 years. If there's a TS community there, you can find one anywhere.

Think long and hard about what you're really looking for. I know the idea of being yourself and coming out of the closet and not worrying if someone sees you with a girl with big feet might seem like something you could never do, but you'd probably die a happier person if you did. It might be nearly impossible, and maybe you're just trying to get laid, but good luck finding any sympathy from the TG crowd, because they've usually gone through plenty themselves. If you're never really going to want a relationship and you just want some T-girl cock on the down-low, be honest about it. And don't be a cheap bastard. Support a shemale hooker. That's what they're there for.



As someone who spent their whole life in Ohio till last year, I know where you're coming from. And actually, since I went to OSU I'm supposed to hate you...

But seriously, if you were nice to the John Goodmans and weren't afraid to say hi, you'd probably eventually meet Goodman's more passable TS friends.

@Jodie - yes, the first few years are pretty messy. We are going through puberty all over again - the only up side is we know what's happening, so we can kinda muddle through with our self respect and most relationships intact.

In many ways the first few years of transition we are equally destroying our old lives while building our new ones. Job, friends, family, relationships... everything is in flux and nothing is certain. Our self-image takes routine beatings as we look kinda awkward and get easily clocked. Our focus is often on saving/making money for surgeries and hormones to the point of obsession (see previous sentence).

While I had a serious relationship with a guy through the first 7 years of my transition, in retrospect I sure wouldn't have dated me.

@Raquel - everything you said +1.

Guys who don't know I'm trans trying to pick me up are so sweet and pay attention to what I say. they engage me as a person with interests and opinions. Guys in a heavy trans environment make me feel like those interests and opinions are what keeps the cock life support system entertained while they aren't around.

The part about the drink made me laugh because it's true. I sometimes think chasers are either seriously cheap, broke, or think we are so desperate they don't have to do more than show up (sadly I think the latter, sadder still I think we make it easy for them to think this).

Well, the married guys being in the bars, looking for some action, they are there, more often than not, because the misses at home is not giving them what want to begin with, or the marriage went sour....women do it also, not just the men. I've seen this happening with friends and family since I a kid no longer sitting in my own poop.

Wen looking for a transgirl, I ask her neither to hold up a sign, nor to burn it up. I was looking a few photos of the aforementioned English transgirl I got my eyes on, and my aunt asked who she was and where I met her. I told her I met her on a trans forum. She looked at me, all disgusted and she asked, "She's still got her dick and you want to date her?!" I simply said to her, "Yes, yes I do. DEAL WITH IT." I'm not afraid of everyone knowing.

I myself am not in any closet, so it's no big deal.

And I am all fine and nice with the "John Goodman's" , I'm simply saying that I have no desire to date one is all.

I only met ONE cute transgirl in Michigan, but she was a total cast-iron, ice queen. :turnoff:

Anyhow, I'm looking to find me a cutie to date, to go out with, to do stuff a dude or chick would do with a chick, and so on. And as I said, I gave up on g-girls....got hurt too much by them (sorry, g-girls, but 95% of you are just savage brutes, more so than most guys.), and I can't even stand the sight of a vagina to begin with, I'm not the typical, red blooded, beer drinking American male that's on the constant hunt for pussy. Tried, and it just did not work for me. :p

And that's the way I think it should be. Congrats. :)

+2 :)
Bionca, you're talking about 'Sippers'
They are the creepy men who buys one pint of beer,
and make it last the whole night, by taking small sips from it.
He never offer to buy you a drink, in fact he hardly makes eye contact
if he does grow the balls to try to start a conversation.
He is more likely to spend his evening on the edges of the room
clocking me and every other trans woman in the joint. :no:

Oh yes, now I remember why I stopped going to tranny bars. :yes:

When I read a generalization such as the one I've highlighted in boldface above, I always want to ask those who make them whether they realize that such hyperbole is nearly always a reflection of them, not of the reality of the world around them. I mention this only because, Trogdor, if you can make such a hyperbolic comment so easily, you might want to explore how you come across more generally when you're out there being "not typical". I offer this suggestion with respect and no particular judgment.

I haven't know any wet

Before anyone decides to crucify me....

In my school days:
When you try to ask one out, be it during or well after high school, and she gives you the "Oh, Trog, you're all nice and cute and all, but can't we just be friends?" then she runs off and pretty much screws star football player, ....and yet comes to you as a shoulder to cry on when he treated her terribly, or wanting you to her her with school work so she won't flunk, or worse, adding more insult to injury, she wants you to help her looser boy friend with school work so he won't get kicked off the team (I told her to stop dating dummies and told the boy friend myself to fuck himself)....that makes them brutes.

Or they pretend to like you, wanting to make dates and so on, and when you come to them, ready to make plans, they grin and say, "It was a joke!", in front of your friends and enemies....that makes them brutes.

After my school days:
When they get all lovey dovey with you, having great phone calls/chats, making dating plans......and when you show up the night for said date, you arrive and she tells you "Oh, I'm sorry, Trog, but I decided to give my ex boy friend (abusive, beer guzzling, drug using, cheating losers) another chance....I'm sorry", especially when said boy friends are actually there when you arrive, or any other back stabbing on the night of said dates....which has happened several times, that's makes them brutes.

When you date one for quite awhile, and she and her family just ups and moves away without telling you she is moving, and also not having the consideration or decency of telling you when, where and why....and not even saying good bye, showing that you, apparently are not important to her in anyway, it seems....that makes them brutes. :broken:

You meet one online and get to know her, and after a year or two of really getting along well, and make plans to meet each other, and having spend a a lot of time scrapping together a good chunk of cash to take with me to see her....on the week I was going to stop by, she goes off with someone else (and she did not even say it at first. A few things she said and how she acted got me suspicious) and it turns out to be some jerk in the army, and she goes with him, just because she wanted to be in the army (She did not even have the courage to pee in a damn cup for the examination), and therefore I asked, "So what about me, then?" and she just went, "Sorry, Trog". And turns out the army guy cheated on her shortly after hooking up.
That makes them brutes. :rolleyes:

Or meeting someone where you used to work at, and starting calling an chatting, and making plans for where to go for our date, and I go to her workplace, at the end of her shift, with some presents (this was on Valentine's day) and she tells you she's gone back to her abusive, loser ex, who's a drummer in a no-name rock band that will never get anywhere....on Valentine's day of all days....and without telling me she's gone back to the useless dog of an ex in the first place....and Mr. Rock Star left her all knocked up and left town, that makes them brutes.

One girl, who NEVER gave me the time of day in high school, despite the fact I tried, called me up a couple of years ago (how she got a hold of my unlisted number still baffles me) and she was all friendly, wanting to meet up with me and such (which already set the warning alarm off in my head, she was NEVER this nice to me). So, wanting to see just what in the smeggin' hell she was up to, I play along with her....to meet her at such and such restaurant in town. I get there a few minutes prior to the set time, getting myself ready for anything. In she comes...boy she let herself go. She had to have packed on 60 pounds or so, had her hair in one of those unflattering helmet styles you often seeing middle aged moms or the wives of politicians have, and though she was 25 or so, she looked closer to 40 or 45 (all those years of drinking, smoking, drugs, and partying must have finally got her). And while we ate, she was going on about her life, getting knocked up by some guy (and he was no where to be seen...big surprise) and so on. She started getting so friendly and such, going on about how I used to like her and maybe giving it a try. Now this was an insult to me......she actually thought that, after all these years of ignoring me and fucking every star jock in school, acting as if I never existed.....that I'd STILL want her.....even after she became all fat and used up and with an kid?! Disgusted, I told her, "You never wanted me a decade ago....you HAD your chance back then and you BLEW it! I suggest you stop looking for some sucker to take care of your daughter, and start raising your daughter so she does not become a train wreck like you. Don't you ever contact me again, or I'll be pressing harassment charges against you, good day." I got up and said to the girl at the front desk, "The woman at table 11 will be covering the check," and I left. If she was not a brute, I dunno what is.

Gonna end it there, before I get angry remembering all this.
And this is just a small sample, the ones that really stick out.

So....yea....I think I am justified in what I say, and that I can back up what I say and think.:frown: And the fact that ts girls have treated me much better than any g-girl has ever done so far, I'll stick to my words, thank you. ~Goes back to drinking his tea~

I'm truly sorry for your pain, but it doesn't change that your percentage is clearly impossible to justify. If you said the percentage was of the g-girls with whom you had sought relationships, or something more particular to you, you might have a case.

Such dismissiveness and generalization only feeds pain. It does little to alleviate it.

Thanks TSweet. :respect: She's very special--glad I met her! The rest of the posts in this thread are very discouraging... :(

Whatever.....the point is that I am through with g-girls, to hell with them.:p

My problem is that i'm still a closeted bisexual man, and if i ever come out i can only imagine all the fuzz that i would get from my family and some of my friends, I would be outcasted by some of my friends while others wouldn't have a problem with it, but the idea that some of them would look at me as if i was some sort of freak hurts me, the area where i live doesn't help out either. God damn it! The ignorance of some of the people here erks me! As for my family it was bad enough the looks and comments i got when i came out to a portion of them as an atheist, they would say things like "You like men!", or "It's bad enough that you like men, but you like transexuals too?!!" I come from a hypocritical/conservative christian/hispanic family that just will throw me to the lions if they ever find out. My mom would probably be heartbroken, i can only imagine what would go through her head " my son is godless and is a homosexual". Sometime i just want to cry at the ills of my current predicament and the ills of the world. At other times i just want to yell out to the world about my sexuality and feelings, but i feel so trapped. My only consolation is my will to become more independent.

Please tell me you're not expecting the transgender community to be more sane than what you've encountered with genetic women.

We've taken a lot of shit from a lot of people and even the relatively stable transsexuals (if they exist) probably won't trust your intentions even if you are the 1 in 10,000 people who want more than sex.

And here's a quick fact for you:

Women tend to have estrogen levels of about 40 pg/ml most of the month and peak at 200-400 pg/ml. That gives them plenty mood swings. Taking hormone injections, my estrogen is in the 1,000 to 1,500 pg/ml range. So it takes a lot of restraint for me not to be 4X crazier than a chick with PMS.

I've been treated a milllion times better by transgirls than I have by g-girls. One ts girl in Seattle I know said, "nothing wrong with going that way, one option does not work for you, go with the other".

It's just plain logic.

Your generalizations -- whether stated explicitly or implicitly -- are growing tiresome. Your experience does not translate into data that can be applied to an entire class or group.

Hey, c'mon my peeps, lets get back more on topic, i'm hoping this will get us
to a more positive light, i was just thinking yesterday that perhaps one other reason why i haven't pursued my dream is because i would just be 2 shy to do it, for example a couple days ago i saw a cute looking tgirl pass me by, but when our eyes met i immediately turned my face and blushed. The scary part for me is that i think she was able to tell by me doing that action that i like tgirls! I just wish i were as brave as some of the people here when it comes to these type of things.

I once met a normal, relatively stable transsexual....once,


....just once.

Here's what to do.

See the girl, take a deep breath and go for it. That shyness thing won't fly with girls. It's only 'cute' and 'charming' on those cheesy 1980's movies where the geek tries to get the girl/boy.

Imagine you are at the home plate, it's near the end of the 9th inning, bases at loaded and it's your turn at bat. Just focus on making that winning hit, don't worry about the other folks ready to catch that ball you hit, just hit the damned thing and go from there.

If only it were that easy, my post from a day ago highlights some of the problems i might have if i go this route. :(

Well, pretend that everyone's in their underwear, including yourself.
Because, famous person once said, "You need to go out on a limb, otherwise you'll never know. How else can you can get the fruit?" ;)