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-   -   glad im not the only one (http://forum.transladyboy.com//showthread.php?t=2746)

3rdgenderlover 10-09-2008 10:04 AM

glad im not the only one
 
hi all members,

im sorry if this story gets long but i want to get this off my chest and it seems this is the only forum where i can be myself.

im dennis from The Netherlands and have been attracted to shemales for more then 10 years now. at first i just fantasized about it and never crossed my mind to actually find one. after a while i just could not resist the feelings that i had to meet a real shemale. but i did not wanted it to be a prostitute because my mind said that i wanted real love from a shemale. so i found a shemale through the internet and we hooked up.

what i discovered was a whole new world. i never thought it was so pleasant for a guy to be real with a shemale. ok, the sex was awesome but it was more then that. in all those time i had a girlfriend beside this and secretly moved myself in the 3rdgender world.

i had read some topics on the forum and saw a thread about the advantages for a shemale vs girl. ohhhhh damn, they are all true! they almost think the same. looking always fine, taking good care of themself and u can connect very good on a mental level also.

so i see u all thinking........."so whats the story???"

well, i fucked up the relation with the shemale because "our"world does not understand the feelings that we members have with a shemale. its not only sexual for me but a lifestyle. i still live with this secret every day but its getting harder to keep it secret. not for myself but for the outsideworld, who dont understand me. i still live with my girlfriend in a appartment but my feelings on sexual level had been completely zero.

and ven she is a good gf i just cant help that my feelings say that i want a shemalegf to be with me.

after my first relationship with the shemale what i just told u i went to Manila after i began chatting with a shemale there. i met her there and we had a good time. im back now in my country and i know i have too tell everyone that i love the 3rdgender but im so afraid they dont understand, that i hurt feelings. something that i dont want to do. so it will be a very big thing to get it all out. im surrounding myself with courage to do that in a short period off time so that i can live happy without being secret.

but im glad that i found this forum with members with same issues and i hope to hear from you all and i sincerely need some support from u all.

thanks for reading my short version off the story:)


my greatest love to you all,

dennis

cockluva 10-09-2008 10:25 AM

Welcome to forum dennis, I'm sure you'll like it here it's a friendly place to be. I totally understand your story as i'm most people here do. I'm sure one day it will all sort itself out. Good Luck My Friend.:respect:

SweetCharmer 10-09-2008 11:49 AM

heya Dennis great to have another ladyboy lover so go forth into the forum and indulge lol:respect:

jmape 10-09-2008 12:43 PM

Hi Dennis, you are certainly not by yourself in this cold world... there are thousands or millions (?) of use who feel the same way as you do! Wellcome!!! I fancy ladyboys because i've tiny teeny weeny meself and most of these TS:s have a HUGE penis compared with mine - this could sound kinda wrong to some people but i think many lb-fans like to watch/have sex to lb because they have broblems with own sexual identity?

Pencelli 10-09-2008 01:30 PM

HI Dennis. Your story is not unfamilar. The powerful feelings you describe are probably shared by many guys here. The desire to appear 'normal' to friends and
family set against an overpowering desire to be with a shemale.

Many of us have genetic girl wives or girlfriends whom we love and respect, but who don't produce the sexual attraction in us that keeps a relationship healthy. What do we do ? Leave her for the unknown..? Maybe risking losing friends, family and suffering humiliation ? Sometimes it seems coming out as simply gay would be easier - because being gay is understood, but being a 'tg admirer; is not understood at all.

Im lucky because my shemale girlfriend is passable, so only I and a very few of her friends know the truth. Maybe one day you will be similarly blessed.

jmape 10-09-2008 02:10 PM

My first anwer to Dennis was kinda hasty and provocative. I really don't mean that people who like lb:s lack sexual identity, actually i meant quite an opposite of that: they have found the balance beetween to sexes - very delicate ad very subjective. I got to clear my thouhts which concern MY own sexcual identityl All i know that i am really interested in she-males, ladyboys and that transgenderstuff. Maybe it's a good starting point. I hope you as a community and forum accept me just the way i am, please?

Randal Flag 10-09-2008 05:34 PM

I think I know what you mean jmape. I dont take offence out of it. When I found out that I got turned on by shemales was realy scared en confused. Still am a bit. Never had the guts to meet a shemale. I am really afraid that wil like it to much and never be turned on by normal girls..

Bionca 10-09-2008 06:40 PM

Dennis,

I sometimes come across as being a bit harsh with guys in your situation. The reality is, it is hard to date a transwoman. You can double that if you are currently in a relationship with a non-trans woman.

Ultimately, you have to face the very same essential decision that each and every Trans*person faces. The decision to be authentic with one's self or not. Either decision has its good and bad points.

From my perspective, honesty breeds freedom. The saying "woman trapped in a man's body" is only partly true. It would be more correct for me to say that I was a woman living in a lie from birth through puberty trying to fool everyone (even myself). The moment I realized I wasn't a "feminine gay guy" was the first moment I truely could feel free. It had nothing to do with what I wore, or the length of my hair (shaved head and trying to grow a beard at that point). It was the first time I was honest with myself - it was only natural that I should be honest with everyone else in my life.

For guys, the situation is different, and both easier and harder. You have a choice - the easy part is you can hide it, visit a shemale prostitute, go home to the wife and kids and indulde with Internet porn. The hard part is, you have to make a choice - I didn't, that choice was already made for me so it made the process more clear.

Guys also are faced with the problem that someone could get hurt. If you are dating a trans and a non-trans woman at the same time, feelings are involved. It's a rare woman (trans or non-) who will be comfortable being a mistress (particularly if your relationship is based on emotion and not economics).

What you may decide to do, the key is to figure out what is really true for you. Like I said, honesty is freedom.

3rdgenderlover 10-10-2008 03:31 AM

thank u
 
hi all members,

thank u for reading my story and answered me. i feel that i have found a group where i can share my thoughts and my emotions.

thank you all for your supportanswers.

greetings,


dennis

hankhavelock 10-10-2008 04:47 AM

Dennis

It so often APPEARS harder and more difficult to overcome coming out of the closet than it actually is.

I've written quite a bit about this, so browse around the postings here :-)

And all best wishes!

H

ocinteeni 10-10-2008 06:02 AM

All I can say is it is easier for me to post this advice knowing that I will not be acting out or doing any of which I am saying. And because of this cirumstance it is easy for me to say what should be done.

First, to be fair to your girlfried that you are with right now. She also wants to be fullfiled in her life love/affection/etc., just like you do with love from a transexual. To continue to be with her is just leading her on, that really isn't fair. As far as the rest is concerned, you seem to be honest with yourself about what it is you want, now the hard part is letting the people that you care about know. There is no simple way of doing this, you just do it. Sadly some people might not think of you the same way. This is the way the world is period. Luckily the people that still feel the same towards you are the people that truly love you and are your friend. I could only imagine those sorts of people you would get closer to because you are more completely honest with them.

Also I have to say I commend you on trying to change your life to live honestly with yourself, I hope all works out for you.

jmape 10-10-2008 12:38 PM

Dear Randal Flag...
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Randal Flag (Post 44023)
I think I know what you mean jmape. I dont take offence out of it. When I found out that I got turned on by shemales was realy scared en confused. Still am a bit. Never had the guts to meet a shemale. I am really afraid that wil like it to much and never be turned on by normal girls..

... I've lost all my interest to so called normal girls - allthough i can't stop or prevent me looking their perfect asses, legs and faces. I had a quite long relationship with a very beatiful and intelligent woman. It took time to get over that but now i know what was the real reason for the separate ways: she thought that i was not a MAN because i wanted meself to be fucked, and i did that by using dildos huge to suprise many and she knew that... So don't be afraid of that turning-off-stuff because you'll have more opportunities than before! Rock' roll!!! yours, jmape

silkxxx 10-10-2008 01:32 PM

Hi dennis
 
I was just browsing through this site and somehow your post is the most interesting. I want to thank you for being honest with yourself, really a few are. I am a ladyboy/courtesan and most men just use us to act out their fantasies rather than finding one and loving one because they still want to stick with their gfs and wives. Not so many man have the same feeling as you did, there are some men who finds out after acting out their ts fantasies who find themselves conclusive that they only want woman, but to tell you the truth dennis, i have been with some few timers and often times they come back.

Yes its true that you must find a ladyboy/shemale that is passable, even without implants or operations to make her look like a girl, still if you want to live a quiet life and dont want people to know because of gossips and uncertainties you must be dating passable shemales so people will have no idea. there are a lot in the philippines...

smile, youre a good person...


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